Halloween Monsters

Will I ever get to take a relaxing shower again, like I used to before I had children? This morning started out busy, but it was great! Too busy to shower. While I fixed breakfast, Jack read Halloween stories to his little sister, so sweet!

Jack is having his class Halloween party at school today, so he went in his Cat In The Hat costume. It was fun to drop him off and watch everyone admire his costume. I really wanted a shirt that said, "Yep, I made that!" Yesterday he wore his Spiderman costume for the all school fall party. Costumes were optional yesterday. I told Jack that not everyone will be wearing a costume and he could just wear regular clothes. He poo pooed me and told me he would wear a different costume for the fall party and his "real" costume on Halloween. When I picked him up his teacher said only 4 of the 12 kids in his class wore costumes. On the way home we talked about what the other kids dressed up as and how everyone thought his costume was the best. I asked him if he was glad that he wore his costume and he answered with a resounding "YES! the kids who didn't wear costumes were sad!" I really admire his confidence!

When the babies and I got home from dropping Jack off I jumped in the shower. It was kind of a long one because I had to shave my legs. (I am going to the doctor this afternoon and didn't want to be embarrassed!) Things were quite for a while then Ben and Lauren decided to join me. First they threw Travis' towel into the tub, then they went on a search for other things to throw in. Their item of choice? Telephones. They systematically turned on every phone then threw it into the tub. The tub is pretty deep, so once they throw something in they are unable to retrieve it. So, I showered to a chorus of busy signals, operators saying "If you would like to make a call, please hang up" and two toddlers sing songing "uh oh, uh oh". I figured I could make through the rest of my shower like that until I heard one of the little monsters turn the water in the tub on! Needless to say that ended my shower right away! I am happy to report that no phones were injured during the stunt!

After I got the phones out of the tub and myself dried off I went into the living room to hear all of the phone bases paging the missing phones. Then I went in the office to find my chair on its side.Is it too early to start my Christmas list? As of right now, I am dreaming of a new office chair and a peaceful shower...oh, and a new dishwasher because I think ours broke last night!

Coming Of Age

How old does your son have to be before you let him go to the men's room alone? Jack is 4 1/2 and is noticing that I take him to the women's room when we are in public. He always asks why I make him "go in the girls even though he is a boy". For now he is somewhat satisfied with my "because I am a girl" answer, but I wonder if that is because he has to pee too bad to think. I don't think I have long before he protests. However, I think it is going to be a long time before I can confidently say that I am not worried about a pedophile lurking in the bathroom. How do I balance Jack's independence with my warranted fear?

Tag, I'm It!

I have been tagged by the Sexy Housewife to list seven random things about me. Too bad I just told you that I don’t get gas; I guess that isn’t random anymore.

1. I was on the varsity swim team in high school. I was pretty good too. I swam breaststroke and may have made it to the state finals my senior year if I hadn’t been having trouble with my knees (come to find out it was MS) and ordered by my doctor to quit swimming.

2. I was diagnosed with MS in December of 2000. I am fully functioning and give myself daily injections in hopes of slowing the progression of the disease.

3. I gave birth to twin boys December 9th 2001. They were born at 25 ½ weeks and passed away after a few hours of life.

4. I have no rhythm. My husband and I took dance lessons for the first dance at our wedding reception. It nearly led to our divorce before we actually got married. He would squeeze my hand, grit his teeth and count in a growling whisper and I still couldn’t find the beat!

5. I gained the freshmen 40. That’s right, I gained 40 pounds my freshman year in college. It was due to Travis, he used to come by my dorm room and offer to take me to Burger King. Oh, that and I drank lots and lots of beer. The good news is that I was able to loose it all in the 3-month summer break!

6. I wish I could get my kids a puppy for Christmas. There are only two problems; the twins are deathly afraid of dogs and Travis is dragging his feet. I think it would help my yearning for another baby.

7. I was 21 years old when I got married. I know, I know, there are a bunch of statistics saying it shouldn’t last because we were so young. But, we have 10 years behind us already! My parents were 19 years old and they are still together 37 years later!

Now the fun part. I get tag other bloggers. So Trisha, it is about time you post again, Lisa and Anne let's see if you can tell me something I don't already know!

Lead For Sale!

So on the news this morning I saw a story on the lead paint on Thomas trains. The CEO of RC2, the toy company, was talking about how he planned to win back parents' trust. The company is scraping paint off various trains and testing it for lead. Needless to say, all of the recalls and testing is costing RC2 a lot of money. So, what is the company going to do? They are going to have to raise prices. I am not the CEO of the toy company, or any company for that matter, but I don't see how raising prices is going to help the company win any friends. Their public relations and marketing departments have their work cut out for them. Look at it from the parents' perspective; I have just had to send a bunch of wooden trains, that I spent between $12 and $20 each on, back because RC2 cut costs by having them manufactured in China. Your company put my family at risk. While I was spending more to buy your trains rather than the less expensive, lead free competition you were sitting back counting your money. Now, after you have betrayed me and millions of others, you are asking me to pay even more for your product because you are finally doing what is right. You must be insane!

Just Jack

Jack: Why isn't my name Kevin?
Me: Because your name is Jack.
Jack: But, I like Kevin better.
Me: Well, I like Jack better so that is what we named you.
Jack: I will give you 5 quarters if you start calling me Kevin.
Me: No, I am going to pass.
Jack: How many quarters is it going to take?
Me: There aren't enough quarters in the world to make me change your name to Kevin.
Jack: How do you spell Kevin?
Me: K-E-V...wait a second; you already know how to spell Jack, why don't you just stick with Jack?
Jack: Okay

Devil

So yesterday I am outside trying to play with the kids BY MYSELF when annoying neighbor and her annoying 12 year old come over to play. The mother asks me what I am doing that evening so I tell her that I will be going to Halloween bunko. I hoped to drop it at this point because she is always hinting around for an invite. But she didn't let it drop and it got worse.

Annoying neighbor (referred to as AN from this point forward): So, are you dressing up?

Me: Yep

AN: What are you going to be?

Me: A devil, I am "borrowing" the horns and tail from Jack's old costume and wearing a short little red dress and flaming stockings.

AN: My daughter can't decide what she is going to be this year; maybe she could borrow your costume.

Me: (again being the assertive push over) Okay.

First of all, I think that once you are in middle school your trick or treating days are over. Just go buy your kid some candy! When do you think a kid should hang up their trick or treat bag? What would you do if a 12 year old came to your door dressed like this?

You Have Been Heard...

Okay, so my loyal readers have spoken. They don't care for the dot template. So, we will go back to the old template with new colors. Better?

I Am Having A Mid-Blog Crisis.

How do you like me now?

Now you don't need to have a google account to comment on my blog. So comment away!

I Want To Talk About Me...

I think I have been posting more about Anne lately than my children. I don't have much to talk about today so I am copying her first born meme post. Although Jack was not my "first born", I will answer the questions on him because he is the oldest and the first we took home from the hospital!

1. Were you married at the time? Yes.
2. What were your reactions? I really couldn't believe it, we were having so much trouble getting pregnant that we were going to take some time off, I actually had the birth control pills on the counter waiting for my next cycle to start.
3. How old were you? 27
4. How did you find out you were pregnant? I called the doctor to tell her that my period hadn't started so that I could start taking the birth control pills, I must admit I got a little hysterical and told her this was why I wasn't getting pregnant, which is when she suggested I take a pregnancy test, who knew?
5. Who did you tell first? Katie came over to check out the pink line
6. Did you want to find out the sex? Yep, I am a total planner
7. Did you deliver early or late? I was due on the 15th; my doctor induced me on the 13th because she was going on vacation the next day.
8. Did you have morning sickness? Yes, I blame the morning sickness for my weight gain, if I didn't have food in my stomach I would dry heave. I remember one time where I ralphed in the trash can at work while one of my male co-workers held my hair back. That was the day I told my boss I was pregnant, I didn't want her to think that I was coming in after a bender!
9. What did you crave? My favorite lunch was a fried chicken sandwich from Burger King, Potato Oles from Taco Johns followed up with a large blizzard from Dairy Queen. Yes, I would drive thru all of those places in one lunch; do you have a problem with that?
10. Who irritated you the most? I can't really think of anyone who irritated me more than anyone else.
11. What was your first child’s sex? Boy
12. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? It is hard to give an exact figure. My doctor weighted me two weeks before delivery and I was up 87lbs. I refused to weigh in again after that humiliation. I am sure I packed on a few more pounds after that! The good news is that it all came off!
13. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? I was heavily monitored because of the trouble I had with Nate and Spence but Jack was a picture perfect pregnancy.
14. Where did you give birth? Methodist Hospital in Omaha, NE
15. How many hours were you in labor? I was induced at noon and Jack was born at 3:33pm
16. Who drove you to the hospital? Travis
17. Who watched? Travis and a bunch of interns who were hanging out in my room because we had March madness on TV
18. Was it natural or c-section? Natural
19. Did you take medicine to ease the pain? Yep. After I was induced the nurse suggested that I walk the halls to get my labor going. I took two laps around and told Travis that the contractions were getting uncomfortable. We went back to my room, the nurse checked me and I was already at 4cm. She offered an epidural and I took it...it is rude not to take something you are offered, right?
20. How much did your child weigh? 7lbs 6ozs
21. Did your child have any complications? Not a one!
22. What did you name him/her? Jackson Kingsley
23. How old is your first-born today? 4 years, 7 months

Show & Tell

Me: Jack what would you like to take to school for show and tell?
Jack: I need to look in my room will you help me?
Me: Sure
Jack: Mom, what is really special to me?
Me: I don't know, you tell me
Jack: How about my castle?
Me: I don't think that will fit in your backpack.
Jack: Well, I don't think my friends will be very impressed with my soccer trophy since I already took it
Me: I think you are right

Finding items for show and tell is only going to get harder as the weeks go on. Those poor teachers have got to be bored to tears as 12 4-year-olds tell the class about the little trinket they dug up right before school!

Daddy Made Me Do It

Last night when I got home from class Travis told me that he didn't get Jack to bed on time. I don't mind telling you I was a little annoyed since I am the one who has to deal with the cranky morning aftermath. Trav got Jack's pajamas on, and then Jack asked to stay up and watch TV with him. When they heard the garage door Jack ran up to his bed and pretended to be asleep. It was their little secret. That is until this morning when Jack threw his dad under the bus.

Me: Boy, you really slept in, did you get to bed on time last night?
Jack: No, daddy made me do it!
Me: Daddy made you stay up late?
Jack: Yes, he wanted me to stay up and watch TV with him. I told him I should go to bed, but he told me not to.

Something You Don't Know About Me...

I don't put gas in my car, or any other car for that matter. The tank gets low, and then it is miraculously full again. One of the modern mysteries!

As we were driving home from photography class last night I mentioned to Anne that I needed gas and that I was probably going to have to get it myself since it couldn't wait until the weekend. Anne was shocked that I don't get my own gas and said that would be one of those little known facts about myself. You see Travis knows that I hate getting gas so he does it for me. What is there to hate? I don't know; it is just a waste of time. I am always late leaving the house (notice I didn't say late to arrive, I make up time on the road!) and the last thing I have time for is stopping for gas. I can never remember what side the gas tank is on so I always look like an idiot leaning my head out the open door to see if it is on the drivers side. When I finally get parked I forget how to open the gas lid...is it called a lid? I don't know! Travis insists on having me drive these newfangled foreign cars that require you to push a button on the inside before you open the lid from the outside. What was wrong with the 1980 Dodge Omni I drove when I was 16 where the cap just screwed off? When I finally get pumping it never fails that I end up with gas on my hand, shoe and car. Not to mention I can’t stand what gas costs, I hate knowing that I just spent $40-$50. I could buy a new pair of jeans for that! I am just happier burying my head in the sand. You see, what I don’t know can’t hurt me!
When I got home last night I told Travis about my bad luck. So sad that I would have to pump my own gas. He offered to go get me more last night, but I declined. I can get my own gas, I just prefer not to! This morning while I slept in (until the kids got up at 7am) Travis went out and got gas in my car so I wouldn't have to do it on the way to drop Jack off at school. Now, that is a good man!

A+

Okay, so we don't actually get grades in photography class, but my teacher really liked one of my macro pictures. I borrowed my friend Anne's lens and shot this picture right before class. My teacher did feel the need to call me out about doing my homework at the last minute, but he was impressed with my lighting. Also, for the record anyone who voted for photo C of the holding hands my teacher agrees with you.

I chose this cork because it is one of our favorite wineries in Sonoma, that and they make great wine!

The other photo I turned in tonight was of this weed that has been sprouting up in our grass. I like how the center is in focus and the petals drift out of focus.

Next week, action. That shouldn't be too hard since I live with three kids between the ages of 2 and 4!

Assertive Push Over

http://www2.oprah.com/videochannel/videochannel_player.jhtml?video=1178&category=31

If you haven't seen this guy’s final lecture you really need to watch this! He has some really great things say. I was watching him intently for the third or fourth time yesterday afternoon. I can get through the entire speech with dry eyes, but at the end when he says that he didn't write the speech for his students or the rest of America, he wrote it for his three young children to watch when they get older. This puts me into hysterics every time. I don't just tear up. I bawl like a little baby, complete with sound effects. I know it is coming, I know he what he will say at the end of the speech, but every time I completely loose it. I can't imagine leaving my children on this earth all alone. Logically, I know they wouldn't be alone; perhaps it is just my attempt at making myself feel important. Anyway, as I was blubbering my annoying neighbor called wanting to send her 12-year-old over to play with my kids that are less than 25% her age. My head was saying, “no way, my eyes are all red, I just want to be alone”, unfortunately my mouth said “sure, send her over!” Why do I do that? Why can’t I just tell people what I really want? Everyone thinks I am assertive, but I seem to always let myself down by being a total push over.

To Shot Or Not To Shot?

The kids and I got flu shots this morning. I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't seem to hurt as much this year. Maybe we just got a good nurse, who knows! I mentioned to Travis a week or so ago that I really think he should get a flu shot this year. I was shocked when he asked me "why?” I reminded him of the last two years when he was dying in bed for days with the flu while the rest of the family remained healthy. "I got sick?" he asked with surprise. Hello? Are you not the same person who told me last year to make you get a flu shot this year? Not to mention the guilt trip my neurologist attempted to send my dear husband on last year when he found out Travis hadn't been vaccinated. When I brought that up Travis played dumb. How is it possible to forget both the illness and the doctor's wishes? Imagine my surprise when Travis told me that the traveling nurses were actually at his office passing out flu shots and he declined. What's the over/under on Trav getting the flu this year?

Rent-A-Cop and the Rule Nazi

I have a Halloween party next weekend and I need to dress up so after checking the ads the kids and I headed to Target because the costumes were 30% off. I have never been so disappointed at Target. It was so busy they didn't have any of the big carts with two seats in it so I was forced to take a normal cart and put Lauren in the basket. The costumes were so picked over I was left choosing between Daphne and a French maid. I didn't get a costume, but I did decide to pick up some groceries while we were there. We needed quite a few things so by the end of our trip Lauren was standing in the corner to make room for all of the groceries. The rent-a-cop came up to me and asked me to have Lauren sit down because they have had kids fall out of the cart before. I didn't bother to mention that this has happened to my children before. There wasn't room for Lauren to sit down so I just ignored his request and went on with my shopping. Jack however was very bothered by the fact that Lauren wasn't listening to the police officer. He was certain that we were going to be arrested and thrown in jail. Jack wouldn't listen to me when I told him that the man in uniform wasn't a real police officer and he didn't have the authority to put us in jail. So, I ended up having to comply with the rent-a-cop and the 4-year-old rule Nazi and made Lauren walk. That dude was just lucky that I didn't flip out and tell him that they were out of carts and they didn't even have what I came for!

Do You Want To Change Your Mind?

Several of my family members read my blog. Why do they never comment? I guess it is because they don't know how. Anyway, they send me comments via email. I have gotten a couple of comments about liking photo D, but liking the background on C better. I agree, I don't really care for the background on photo D, but I wasn't going to mess with it unless it was the picture for class. So, here is photo D with an idea of what it would look like if I spent some time on it. Does anyone want to change their vote?

Where's The Fish?

Once upon a time we had four fish, three of those fish lived about five minutes, then we had one fish, that fish lived about 10 minutes longer, then he joined his buddies in fishy heaven. This sounds like a fine story until you hear of my parenting blunder. You see fishy number four; I think his name was Scotter (Why? Because Jack names everything Scotter, why? I don't know!), died on October 1st while Jack was taking a nap. I assumed Jack would mention something when he got up and we would have a little talk about his fishy in heaven. But, in addition to flushing the fish, I was also putting the Halloween decorations out during his nap. Jack was so excited about the Halloween decorations, he didn't notice that the fish was gone. A good mom would have taken him aside, pointed out the missing fish and talked to him about the fish amongst all of the excitement. I however thought shwoo, I guess I dodged that bullet! Fast forward to yesterday.

Me: Jack, what do you want for lunch?
Jack: (running into the kitchen where the fish lived his final days) Where's the fish?
Me: You want fish sticks?
Jack: No silly!
Me: Goldfish crackers?
Jack: (annoyed) No, where is my fish that used to swim in the bowl that sat right up there?
Me: Oh, that fish.
Jack: Well, where did you put him?
Me: He died sweetie, so now he is in fishy heaven with his friends.
Jack: (very serious) When did he pass away?
Me: (stunned that he said 'pass away') A couple weeks ago.
Jack: Why didn't you tell me?
Me: Ummm...I forgot?
Jack: How can you forget something like that?
Me: I don't know, I am sorry.
Jack: I am a big boy now; you need to tell me these things!
Me: I know you are, I am sorry.
Jack: Shhhh...let's not talk about it anymore, it would make the babies sad.

Please Vote!

My homework for photography class was to take a picture using macro (close up). I am trying to decide which photo to turn in. Please vote A, B, C or D!

A.

B.

C.


D.

Toddler PMS

Is it possible for a 2-year-old to have PMS? This poor little girl just cannot control her emotions; she unapologetically wears her heart on her sleeve. This morning was going well. The kids helped me make pancakes for breakfast and we took the morning slow. Ben and Lauren were still in their pajamas when we dropped Jack off at school (thank goodness for the carpool drop off lane!). When we got home, Ben, Lauren and I played for an hour or so before I got them dressed. Lauren got to choose what she was going to wear. Jeans or dress? Dress. Pink or green? Pink. Things were going smooth as silk. Then she realized there were no bloomers to go with her new pink dress. She cried and cried and cried some more. She was inconsolable over the flipping bloomers! She was trying to pull her dress off and even brought me another outfit to put on her. I finally got her calmed down when she hit me with her next demand. She wanted a cracker on her frisbee. I explained that we were going to eat lunch so there would be no cracker. Guess what? She cried and cried and cried some more. I sometimes wonder if she actually forgets what has upset her when she is 10 minutes into her melt down. When she finally settled down she told me that she needed a nap. I couldn't have agreed more! My boys never did this. My mom says I didn't do this when I was little. Is it hormones or a high-strung personality?

Mothers Unite!

In the latest issue of our town magazine there is an article about babysitting. It mentions this website http://www.sittercity.com/rate_calculator.html which give you an approximate rate per hour base on zip code, age, number of children and number of years experience. Among my friends I pay on the top end, at least $10/hour. We always round up; if it has been 3 hours and 40 minutes we just pay $40. Except for last time we had a sitter, without thinking Travis gave her 4 twenties rather than 4 tens...yikes, that was an expensive night! I actually have one friend who won't give me the names of her sitters because she thinks we pay too much and doesn't want the competition. Based on this website, I should be paying my sitter $12.25/hour. Ouch! I remember when I used to baby-sit for $2/hour. I don't think wages have gone up by 6 times in the last 15 years, have they? I know that makes me sound ancient! I think we, as parents need to ban together and stop this price gouging. If we all stop paying these exorbitant rates they won’t be able to demand such high rates. I am so tired of mothers always trying to out do each other! Mothers unite! I just hope my sitter doesn't read this article…

T.O. For President

My smile is back! I know that my typical reader doesn't give a shit about this, so feel free to skip this post.

Yesterday UNL's athletic director was canned. Today Tom Osborne was named as the interim athletic director. Can it get better? Will Callahan be fired tomorrow? Will the Huskers run the option on Saturday? Only time will tell!

Shut In

Today’s gray weather really matches my mood this afternoon. Ben, Lauren and I have been shut ins today because Travis took my car. I don't know how my grandmother stayed home with her four kids without a car. She must have been nuts! Jack had school today so good ol' Anne took him to school and brought him home. We didn't have anything we had to do, but if we don't get out of the house the kids get a little stir crazy which makes me even more gloomy, causing an out of control spiral. Nothing that a leisurely trip through Target couldn't have fixed! This is something that I will try to explain to Travis when he and my car get home from work today. I guarantee that he won't understand it. Taking the kids somewhere when they are edgy is the last thing that he would want to do. The great news is that I have class tonight, so I will get out of here and Travis will get a small taste of my day.

Priceless

Driving School = $235
Hotel = $100
Plane ticket = $222
Porsche repair = $685

Being owed big time = Priceless

Is It Bed Time Yet?

Yesterday morning I took the kids to the farmers market with our neighbors. Since we have gotten home I have been keeping myself busy with various projects around the house. I have done the dishes from Friday night, organized the Tupperware cabinet, implemented a new spice cabinet, cleaned out the pantry, cleaned out both refrigerators, organized the laundry room and did all of the laundry (I even put it away). Not to mention the countless diarrhea diapers I have changed for Ben and Lauren. I have now hit a brick wall, the kids are bored and miss daddy and so do I. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse Travis called me to tell me that his car isn't working right. The bottom line; this driving school weekend is going to cost more than we had initially budgeted and Travis won't be coming come tonight. Awesome. What time do you think the kids would get up tomorrow if I put them to bed now and poured myself a glass of wine?

5 Out Of 7 Kids Agree

The quesadillas were a success! Jack loved his and thought there was nothing more than cheese in his quesadilla. He actually saw the moms enjoying them (3 out of 3 moms agree) and came over to claim another one fearing that they would all be gone when he finished his first helping. Honestly, I didn't even want to try them after making them because the idea of squash mixed with the cheese kind of made my stomach turn. But after another adult tried them and said they were decent I hade to see for myself. They really were pretty darn good. I left the spices out for the kids but I think they would have been something I would actually choose to eat if they had a little more flavor. The two pickiest eaters seemed to be wise to my deception and only touched the quesadillas when they were faced with the threat of not getting to decorate sugar cookies with the rest of the kids!

Travis wasn't there last night and I was slapped in the face with how much clean up he does while I am chatting with our friends. My job is to cook and Travis' job is to clean up. It is rare that I have to do much clean up. I filled and started the dishwasher last night before I went to bed, but I still woke up to this mess:

It's A Bird, It's A Plane...

IT'S "SOUPY GIRL"!

Lauren was so cute this morning running up and down the hall yelling "soupy girl, to the rescue!"

I Hear The Secrets That You Keep, When You're Talking In Your Sleep...

Travis is out of town this weekend at a driving school with my dad so Jack is sleeping with me in order to "keep daddy's spot warm". I didn't realize that the kid talks in his sleep, but I was awakened in the middle of the night with:

"They are two year old twins and they have made a mess again and broken all of my toys!"

Is this the older sibling of twins’ version of a nightmare? I can't wait to find out what I learn tonight!

Salty Strikes Again

Several months ago we had a situation with the electric 'Salty' getting wrapped around Lauren's hair. Jack learned his lesson, but apparently Ben didn't learn his. This time the victim was Jack's rocking horse.

Angels To Monsters in 3.2 Seconds

You would think that I would have this parenting thing down by now since I have been at it for 4 1/2 years, but I have to admit there are still things I have yet to learn. How are kids able to go from having a great time to melting down in a matter of seconds? More importantly, why do I still miss the warning signs? We had a great morning feeding animals, going on a hayrack ride and picking out pumpkins. Then the clock struck midnight, I mean noon, and my little angels turned into monsters! Jack was crying because his pumpkin was too heavy, I was stuck carrying the other pumpkins, dragging Lauren out by her arm as she screamed like a banshee and prodding Ben to hurry up as he stopped by each blade of grass to say hello. Would this have been easier if I would have just seen this melt down coming and left 5 minutes earlier? Only God knows.

Helicopter

I just signed the permission slip for Jack to go on his very first field trip. The preschool is taking all of the kids to the pumpkin patch. I happened to be at the pumpkin patch on the same day as his preschool (he was too young to go, they only take 4-year-olds) last year and it was a mad house. I couldn't see any system for keeping track of the kids; they were running amuck! They have asked for volunteers to chaperone, but they want people who can put more car seats in their car. I don't have any more room for car seats, so needless to say I am not their ideal volunteer. I really want to be there so I can keep an eye on my kid. He won't get in any trouble, I am just concerned that his curiosity will get the best of him and he will walk off without anyone noticing. I know I am being a helicopter parent, but I can't help myself. I told the teacher that I would be happy to chaperone, but I can't drive any additional kids. She kindly brushed me off and said she would let me know next week if they need anyone else. It does make me feel a little better that they are asking for 4 volunteers, not including the teachers. So, there will be 6 adults for the 12 kids in his class. If these adults only need to keep track of two kids they should be able to notice if one is missing, right?

That's Enough Of That...I'm A Cat In A Hat

Jack: Mom, I don't want to be The Cat In The Hat for Halloween
Me: Why not?
Jack: Because he makes a mess and gets the kids in trouble.
Me: He doesn't get the kids in trouble because he cleans up his mess; he is lots of fun!
Jack: I want to be a super hero instead.
Me: Super heroes are boring; remember how soft and comfy your Cat In The Hat costume is?
Jack: Remember when I was a devil for Halloween? That was fun!
Me: Yes, it was fun, but you have been there done that.
Jack: Okay, I guess I will just be The Cat In The Hat.

That is what I thought! He is going to be The Cat In The Hat; there is no turning back now! I have already spent a good chunk of money on fabric, hours making the costume by hand and have gotten the kids pictures taken in their costumes. He will be The Cat In The Hat and he will like it. Scratch that, he will love it!

The Votes Are In!

I tried the brownies with carrots and spinach today. The consistency isn't what you would expect from a brownie, but the flavor wasn't bad. Jack and Lauren gobbled theirs up; chalk one up for mommy! Ben didn't eat much of his, but I am not sure he is a good judge, as he hasn't been eating much of anything lately. Tomorrow we are having friends over; I will try the remaining brownies out on their kids and let you know the results. I will also be making the quesadillas with butternut squash for the kids. I am eagerly anticipating the results of my deception!

¿Habla usted inglés?

Jack: Mom, this macaroni and cheese is just so-so
Me: It is? I thought you loved macaroni and cheese?
Jack: I do love it, that is what Dora says when something tastes good!
Me: Oh, you mean "delicioso"!

How appropriate that I was just talking to a friend at playgroup today about putting Jack in Spanish classes! He has really been enjoying learning sign language and remembers it so well. If he is interested in other languages now I think we need to take advantage of his eagerness to learn!

More?

I took Ben and Lauren to the store to buy a baby gift. The clerk asked me if they were twins, how old they were, then she asked the question I dread. "Are they your only children?" It seems like a simple enough question, but I am left fighting for the words to answer the question. My heart silently answers "No, I have twin boys who are almost 6 and a 4-year-old boy". My stomach ties in knots as my lips answer "No, I have a 4-year-old boy who is in preschool today". I know a random stranger doesn't want to hear my sad story, but at the same time I feel like I am denying the twins by not acknowledging them. When Jack was really little and people asked if he was my first I would often say "No, I have twin boys" and drop it. My kids are now old enough to get confused by an answer like that. My heart is often heavy this time of year as I reflect on my attempts to preserve Nate and Spence's lives as I sat on bed rest. I can't believe it has already been 6 years; the pain is still so fresh. But, at the same time look at all we have accomplished in the 6 short years since!

Are You Really Fooling Anyone?

Jessica Seinfeld was on Oprah this afternoon. She is a mother of 3 kids under 7-years-old and claims to have perfected the art of sneaking veggies into their diet. She purees veggies and puts them in similar colored foods kids like. Brownies with spinach and carrots, macaroni and cheese with cauliflower and chicken nuggets with broccoli, sound suspicious don't they? She has written a cookbook called 'Deceptively Delicious' that has me very interested. I have printed several recipes from Oprah's website and plan to try them out on my family when they least expect it! If all goes well I will be putting the cookbook on my Christmas list!

Laurenisms

Dino Whore = dinosaur
Ben Jim = Benjamin
Wa Shit = Wash it
Punk him = pumpkin
Dogga = doggy
Bless you mama = I sneezed
Wanit Now = I want it now...make that yesterday
Fuck it = bucket
Happy day = Happy Birthday
Cock = clock or watch
Bapa = grandpa
In the ho = give me five, on the side, in the hole...
ho it mama = hold me
sardi = sorry
cream on it mama = put lotion on me
Wuv you = I love you
You Reddy? = Are you ready? I am about to do something I consider great and you better be watching!
Dooby, Dooby where art you? = Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you?

Using this guide you will be able to carry on conversations with Lauren without confusion. She really is a nice girl and doesn't swear...I will admit her older brother taught her to say "stupid", but that is it for naughty words. I am sorry to say she has taught Benny to use many of these words too.

Friend Or Foe?

Poor baby Drew has had a big transition from only child to one of four! He has a blanket and a stuffed purple horned frog (his parents went to TCU) that he sleeps with. As you can see in the picture Ben took great pleasure in taking the frog away from Drew and laying on it so he couldn't get at it. Drew pulled with all of his might and even got Lauren to try to help him, but even with their combined forces they couldn't release the frog.

If that wasn't enough, Lauren has a genetic disorder, she laughs when other people get hurt, just like many in her mommy's family have done before her. Depending on who you are she is either a good or a bad combination with a new walker. Every time Drew would take a spill Lauren exclaimed "Whoa", pointed and laughed then asked anyone who was around "did you see that?" and laughed some more.

The Rules

I am taking care of my nephew this weekend. Last night we had pizza and watched the first half of the Husker game at Elsie's house. Before we left Jack gave Drew a run down on the rules at Elsie's house.

Jack: Baby Drew, the rules at Elsie's house are 1. No crying, 2. No spitting, 3. No biting, 4. No closing the gate and 5. No peeing in your pants!

Poor baby Drew, he followed most of the rules. He was really good and went right to sleep in the pack n play, without any crying. But, I am afraid he broke the no peeing in your pants rule!

Now What?

Me: Get out of the bathroom babies!
Lauren: We aren't babies!
Ben: Yeah, we aren't babies!
Me: Okay, get out of the bathroom anyway.

Several minutes later...

Me: Get out of the cabinets babies!
Ben: Lolo?
Ben & Lauren: (angry) We aren't babies!!
Me: Just get out of the cabinets!

Now what do I call them? The toddlers?

Mother Of The Year

I just have one question. Where do I pick up my reward? You know, the one for mother of the year. Today Jack and I made spiders out of mini pumpkins. While we were waiting for the paint to dry we ran to the craft store for googley eyes and pipe cleaners, then met two of my girlfriends, one of their husbands and all SEVEN (six boys and Lauren) kids for dinner. As if I hadn't punished myself enough with dinner, when we got home I put Ben and Lauren to bed then Jack and I finished our spiders. All went well with the legs, then I temporarily lost all sanity and told Jack he could "shoot" the hot glue gun as I held the eye. I went over the one ground rule, "don't get hot glue on mommy's finger". Apparently something was lost in translation as you can see from the picture. The thing that looks like glue on the tip of my middle finger is actually skin from the blister that immediately formed and burst. I have been resting my fingers on an ice pack ever since. Jack feels really bad. I was really proud of myself, I didn't yell at him or swear, but I will admit I said "ouch" at least 500 times. Jack told me that he wishes it was a "cold glue gun" so it wouldn't have burned my fingers.

Who Are You?

Last night was Open House at Jack's preschool. These things are always pretty lame, but Jack was excited to show us his classroom...as if I don't see it everyday when I pick him up from school! Jack's teachers made the parents pick out your child's family portrait, self-portrait and "All About Me" information sheet from the rest of the class. The family portrait was easy, all of the families have two children except ours and one other that has 4 kids. The self-portrait was a little more difficult since it seems like all of the little boys have blond hair and blue eyes, but we got that eventually. The information sheet left me thinking, "who is this kid", the only way I was able to pick it out is by the question on how many brothers and sisters. He said his favorite color is red. I thought it was still orange, but maybe things have changed. He said his favorite food is chicken. Hmmm, if your favorite food is chicken why do you cry every time I serve it? The only thing I can figure is that he froze up and all he could think of was chicken since that is what we eat most of the time. Jack stating that his favorite toy is a dollhouse particularly bothered Travis. He doesn't even have a dollhouse, his sister does! Travis is convinced that Jack was trying to pimp his teachers around!

After we finished our little guessing game then we went looking for Parker so Jack could introduce us. I have been hearing about Parker for a couple of weeks now. They play together on the playground, etc. I don't know why, but I was a little happy that Jack was finally friends with another boy. His best friends have always been girls, except for Derek who is really my friend's kid. Imagine my surprise when I met a pretty little blond headed girl named Parker!

Big Stuff!

After I picked Jack up from school today we came home and had one of our famous "pretzel snacks".

Jack: Mom, why do you get more pretzels than I do?
Me: Because I am bigger.
Jack: (lifting his shirt to expose his tummy) I have a big tummy, look!
Me: I am sorry to say I think mine is bigger
Jack: Show me
Me: (lifting my shirt and sticking my tummy out as far as I could) See
Jack: Wow, that IS big! You can have the rest of the pretzels!
Me: Thanks, I think...
Jack: Don't worry mom, I was just being sarcastic!

I think he is one of the only 4-year-olds that knows the meaning of sarcasm and uses it properly. I am so proud!!