Picture Heaven

Jack: Mommy, look at my picture! Guess who is in the middle. I will give you two clues, he is a man and he is on a cross.
Me: Is it Jesus?
Jack: Yes!
Me: Who are the other people?
Jack: The boy with the NH over his head is my brother Nate. The boy with the SH over his head is my brother Spencer. The boy with the BK over his head is grandpa's brother. You know, grandpa and I have something in common. We both have a brother in heaven. I bet our brothers are playing together!
Me: Jack that is a great picture, tell me about the rest.
Jack: They are in heaven; I drew flowers and trees because heaven is beautiful.

It is times like this that I am impressed with my parenting. I hate to toot my own horn, but I MUST be doing something right to have a great kid like this!

Playdate At The Duck Pond

Yesterday my sister and I took the kids to feed the ducks. I have some really cute pictures I wanted to share.


Taking the ducklings to the pond.





The boys kept eating the duck food.


Lauren was too busy posing to eat.


The big ugly ducks got a little aggresive and came out of the water. One got a little nibble of Ben's thumb. I thought he was going to start crying and we would be done feeding the ducks. Instead, he suprised me by saying, "Silly duck, I'm not food!"

Holy Jeans, Batman!

Last fall when school started I bought Jack 6 pairs of jeans. He didn't start wearing them until mid-October. By January he had holes in every last pair. Now, not only do I not have any jeans to pass down to Ben, but I had to buy more jeans to make it through the winter. I bought 2 more pairs assuming that would get him through to April when he would start wearing shorts again. We are not even through February and both of the new pairs of jeans have holes now too. The kid has gone through EIGHT pairs of jeans in 4.5 months. Travis told me to send him to school in the ripped jeans but I just can't. I think that he needs to dress nicely for school to show respect for his teacher and school. I know some of you may be rolling your eyes right now. But, my grandma used to say, "If you dress like a roughian, you will be treated like a roughian." Those are words to live by people! I bought two new pairs of Levi's today. I am done buying the expensive Ralph Lauren jeans even though they are really cute! If he gets holes in these last two pairs before shorts weather I am going to buy the guaranteed Toughskins from Sears. I don't care if the other kids make fun of him. At least if he gets holes in those they will give me a new pair.

Secret Recipe

Jack: When these Girl Scout cookies are gone will you make some more?
Me: No.
Jack: Why not?
Me: Because you buy them, you don't make them, we still have another box coming.
Jack: Don't you have the recipe?
Me: No, I don't have the recipe.
Jack: I thought you said you were a Girl Scout. If you were really a Girl Scout you would have the recipe!
Me: The Girl Scouts don't make them they just sell them.
Jack: Then who makes them?
Me: The manufacturer.
Jack: Can we get the recipe from them?

Snack Time

Ben: Mommy, can I have another snack?
Me: No, you have had enough snacks today.
Ben: Please Mommy, I want my tummy to get big like Daddy's. Please mommy, please, please

Go To Girl

My girlfriend Trisha used to be my go to girl, but now her kids are in school fulltime. So, I don't feel like I can ask her anymore. Yes, she would do it if I asked, but I don't like to ask unless I can reciprocate. My new go to girl is Lucinda, she is perfect her oldest is Jack's age, her middle is Ben and Lauren's age and she has a baby. We watch each other's kids on average once a week. I love watching her kids, the big kids play great together and I get my baby fix! This week when I had her kids I was sitting on the couch feeding the baby as Lauren looked longingly at her.

Lauren: Mommy, can we get a baby?
Me: Where do you think we should get another baby?
Lauren: Why don't we just ask Ms. Cinda to make us another one?

Shhhh...

Travis took Jack to the auto show tonight so I told Ben and Lauren we would do something special. So, we went to Sonic followed up with a fun filled trip to Walmart to pick up a prescription and some soda. While we were waiting for my prescription to be filled we sat at the in-store McDonalds and had an ice cream cone. We had 40 minutes to kill so we had a chance to chat about our day. Ben and Lauren had a hard time using their inside voices, I had to keep reminding them that I was sitting right next to them. The woman sitting at the table next to us butted into our conversation and asked if they were twins. We had a short conversation about how old they are and what not. When we finished our ice cream we cleaned our table and threw away the drippy remains of Ben and Lauren's ice cream cones. Ben loudly announced "Good-bye ice cream!” as we walked away from the trashcan he loudly said "Good-bye McDonalds!” Then as we walked past the table he looked at the woman we had chatted with, waved and shouted "Good-bye ugly lady!” I assumed I had heard him wrong and asked him what he said. And, he pointed as he shouted, "I said good-bye to that ugly lady". Wow.

Close Only Counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

So, Ben is using the potty for peepee and stinky 100% of the time. I honestly can't remember the last time he had an accident. The problem is that he strips from the waste down. He removes his boots and takes his underwear and jeans completely off no matter where he is. The problem really doesn't occur until it comes to redressing himself. He only gets his underwear and jeans back on about half the time and of that half they are only on the right direction 50% of the time. Which leaves me helping him get dressed 3 out of 4 times. It kind of takes away from the pleasure of an independent pottier. We have been working hard on getting him to put his pants on (right or wrong) before he leaves the bathroom because it proves embarrassing when he walks out of the bathroom at the gym or at McDonald's naked from the waist down. Both of which have actually happened. So today when he walked out of the bathroom with his underwear and jeans in hand he asked,

Ben: Mommy, will you help me put my pants back on?
Me: No, you need to go back into the bathroom and put them on by yourself.
Ben: Oh, damn it.

I chose to ignore that little comment because I didn't want him to think he could get a rise out of me by saying it again. He walked back to the bathroom with his underwear in one hand, his jeans in the other and his head hung low. When he finally immerged from the bathroom for the second time he had his jeans pulled on, but not buttoned.

Ben: Mommy, my love, will you please help me button my jeans?
Me: Yes, my love, I will!

I really can't say no to a kid that is so charming...and he knows it!

Mortality

Last night our 38-year-old pediatrician and neighbor had a major heart attack. From what I am told it was just one step below instantly fatal. He lived through the heart attack, but will still be in the hospital for at least three days. His wife is a nurse so when he started feeling sick they were trying to handle it at home. Until his arm started hurting, that’s when he knew he was having a heart attack. They called 911, and then he looked at his wife and told her he was going to die and said he loved her. Thank goodness he made it through, he has a two-year-old daughter that needs him. Not to mention Benny (he doesn't know anything about the heart attack) who told me this afternoon that he needed me to call the doctor because his "breath hurt". I didn't bother to mention that the doctor had bigger problems right now. It really makes me think about how old we are getting. People our age are actually dying of things other than accidents like they did when we were in our 20s. Our attorney who was "our" age passed away less than a year ago and now the kids’ doctor nearly died. It makes me worry about Travis, he doesn't exercise like he should and he is a giant ball of tension 95% of the time. I am really not prepared to do this three-kid thing without him. Not to mention, I kind of like to have him around!

Valentine Competition

I have been noticing a boy in Jack's class for the last few months. His mother never comes to anything at school, with the exception of when his college-aged sister came to the Christmas party; he is always by himself while the other kids have one or both parents with them. The kids were suppose to bring a 100% disposable lunch on the field trip, everyone but his little boy had their lunch. I volunteer in the computer lab once a week and this little boy is frequently corrected by the teacher for talking and not staying on task. I know I am making assumptions but I get the feeling that school isn't very important to his parents. Last Tuesday the kids were doing an assignment on the number 100. The teacher didn't expect all of the kids to finish the assignment, so at the end of the class she asked the kids that completed their assignment to stand up behind their chair. Unfortunately, every child stood up except this little boy. What made matters worse another child shouted out "Everyone but that little boy got the assignment done!” It made me so sad, this poor little boy is just being set up for failure, and he doesn't have a chance. I have treated him like all of the other children in the class; I haven't given him any special attention, though I have thought I should. Yesterday at the Valentine party the kids made Valentines for their moms. Jack made a very cute card then delivered it with a kiss, it was very sweet. Shortly after Jack delivered his card the little boy came over and handed me a nice Valentine. I said, "Oh, that's really nice, is this for your mom?" and he responded, "No, it's for you!” It was very sweet of him, but at the same time I feel terrible that he didn't make a Valentine for his mother. I mentioned it to the teacher and she said that he was the youngest (significantly younger) of four kids and his parents were really busy with the older kids. I feel so sad for him and so sad for his mother that she is missing out on her sweet youngest son because she is overwhelmed. As we were walking out of the party Jack noticed that I had two Valentines in my hand.

Jack: Why do you have two Valentines?
Me: One is from you and one is from the child who will remain nameless.
Jack: Why did he give it to you, you are MY mom?
Me: He was trying to be nice.
Jack: But, you love me more, right?
Me: Absolutely!!!!

Button, Button, Who Has The Button?

I received the following note home from school last week.

"Wear 100 Things. On Monday February 9th, we will be celebrating the 100th day of school and we want the school to know it. Please help your child select 100 items that he/she can glue, paint, sew, stick or attach to a piece of clothing. You can attach 100 items to a shirt, hat, pants, socks, scarf, or any piece of clothing. Some ideas include: 100 pom-poms, 100 feathers, 100 buttons, 100 stickers, or 100 safety pins. You can use these ideas or you can be as creative as you like. Please allow your child to help by selecting the item and counting out 100 of them. They will wear their creation to school on Monday in honor of the 100th day of school. Thanks in advance for your help because we know the kids will love what they create! Thanks! The Kindergarten Team"

I made the mistake of reading the note to Jack and asking what he wanted to do. He chose 100 buttons on a hat. I went to Michaels and bought a bucket hat and a grab bag of buttons. Jack had a great time picking out the 100 random buttons. 90% of the buttons he chose are the kind with the loop on the back (aka not the flat kind you can hot glue). I started out really gung ho, but after an hour I only had 11 buttons sewn on. I spent the entire day sewing buttons to the bucket hat. My fingers were bloody from self-inflicted needle wounds. I seriously considered using the needle to poke my eyes out. I am saving that hat for when Ben and Lauren are in Kindergarten. One of them is going to wear the hat and the other is going to wear something with 100 hot-glued items!

Luck O' The Irish

We didn't have any plans tonight so we took a family trip to the grocery store to buy dinner supplies. Since it was a special family occasion we even went to the expensive grocery store! Ben and Lauren each got their own mini grocery cart to push through the store and Jack helped me find each of the vegetables on our list. It was an exciting treasure hunt through the produce department to find each item on our list. When we got home Travis and I turned on the music and poured a glass of wine, the kids danced, Travis chopped and I stir fried the veggies. We had a great relaxing evening as a family. I was hoping that Jack would want to eat his veggies since he helped pick them out, but no such luck, I still had to talk him into it.

Me: Jack, do you remember what that is called?
Jack: What?
Me: The purple one.
Jack: Ummm...
Me: Remember, it has a confusing name...
Jack: Oh yeah, it's red cabbage, even though it is purple!
Me: Right! Eat it!
Jack: Why?
Me: It will give you the luck of the Irish.
Jack: What?
Travis: If you eat your cabbage you will be lucky!

Believe it or not, that convinced Jack to eat all of the cabbage on his plate and ask for more. We continued our dinner chit chatting and enjoying each other when Lauren's constant fidgeting caused her to fall off her chair onto the floor.

Jack: This cabbage IS LUCKY, that was FUNNY!

Jack was right, it was funny and him pointing it out made it even funnier to Travis and I. We spent the rest of the dinner pointing out why cabbage was lucky and encouraging each other to eat more.

I hope these are the nights our kids remember for the rest of their lives.

Where Is Your Father Part II

Travis had to go to one of the rental properties to have a heart to heart with our soon-to-be former tenant after dinner tonight. He wasn't out the door two minutes when I heard Jack yelling from the bathroom.

Jack: MOM, I need HELP!
Me: (Running to the rescue) What's wrong?
Jack: My penis hurts!
Me: What's wrong?
Jack: Look, it is sticking straight out!
Me: Don't worry about it; just finish pooping and stop touching your penis.
Jack: Why does that happen?
Me: Ummm...I'll be right back Benny is calling me.

Why does Travis always disappear at the most inopportune times? When do you need to have "the talk" with boys?

Jeff And The Jammer

Me: Okay buddy, get your shoes on it is time for school!
Jack: WAIT! I have something in my bag that I HAVE to turn in today.
Me: Grab it quick and we will take a look.
Jack: Here it is, magazine subscription fundraiser.
Me: It says that we can turn it in today or tomorrow.
Jack: I want to turn it in today! If I do 7 postcards I get a remote control jammer.
Me: What on Earth is a remote control jammer?
Jack: Well, let's say that you are watching your fat show and daddy wants to change it, I can use my remote control jammer so he can't change the channel. Will you help me do the postcards?
Me: Okay, let's hurry!
Jack: Who should I send them to?
Me: Well, who in your family would you like to send them to?
Jack: Uncle Jeff!
Me: Uncle Jeff isn't in our family.
Jack: Yes, he is, listen, UNCLE Jeff.
Me: We just call him Uncle Jeff because he is a friend that we love a lot; he is not really your uncle.
Jack: YES HE IS!!!
Me: Okay, let's send the first one to Uncle Jeff. Who else in your family?
Jack: Auntie Ronda.
Me: Auntie Ronda will see it when we send it to Uncle Jeff they don't need another one.
Jack: Can you call Uncle Jeff and make sure he shows it to Auntie Ronda?

I am not sure what part of this conversation is better the "fat show jammer" or "UNCLE Jeff". I am so proud of his natural sales ability, he is already using features and benefits to get "the sale" AND I love that he thinks of Jeff and Ronda as family, so do I!

Busy But Boring

I have been adjusting to my life as a partial working mother. I think it would actually be easier to work full-time, at least that way I would have some sort of full-time childcare. However, I want it all. I don't want someone else taking care of my kids full-time; I want to remain the primary caregiver!

Our schedule today:
8:25 Drop Jack and James off at school.
8:25-8:40 Drive to the gym.
8:40-9:40 Workout
9:40-10:10 get ready at the gym.
10:10-10:30 Drive to the office.
10:30-1:00 Meeting at the office (Ben and Lauren came with, Benny slept in my lap a good portion of the time)
1:10-1:40 Go to the association of realtors to pay dues.
1:40-2:00 Drive home.
2:00-2:30 Vacuum the lower level.
2:30-3:45 Prepared our tax documents for personal and the business.
3:45-4:15 Welcome Jack home, go through his backpack.
4:15-4:45 Work on the books for the business.
4:45-5:15 Start dinner.
5:15-6:00 Go to our personal bank, the business bank then back to our personal bank.
6:00-6:30 Finish dinner.
6:30-7:00 Take car to the shop.
7:00-7:30 Eat dinner.
7:30-8:30 Learn about how to evict my deadbeat tenant.
8:30 kiss the kids good night.
8:30-9:30 Research REMAX website.
9:30-10:00 Blog
10:00 Bedtime

Tomorrow, more of the same. I like working; it makes me feel more like myself. I love being a mom; it helps me discover new things about myself everyday. I think this can be the best of both worlds; I just need to figure out how to make them coexist peacefully!