Happy New Year

Yes, we are wild and crazy! Our New Year's Eve celebration included poppers with the kids then a spaghetti dinner complete with our family favorite, crescent rolls! Lauren is sick again and I seem to have gotten a touch of it too. I am not sure if I have just hit a run of bad luck or if I am getting sick more often because of the Tysabri. So, we plopped down on the couch and turned on the boob tube. We stumbled upon Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC. These crazy people have 6-year-old twins and 3-year-old sextuplets and they made a conscious choice to drive 19 hours with eight children to Disney World. They wore earplugs in the van, I am doing that next time we take the kids to Nebraska! At first I thought that Kate was Wonder Woman, then I realized they had recruited four other adults to help them in the park. Their adult to child ratio was actually lower than ours will be when we take our kids to Disney. I can't wait to take our kids; we just need Lauren to grow!

So, who made a resolution this year? I am going to stick with my old stand by resolution and resolve to take off the extra pounds I packed on over Christmas. So, here we go again...operation focus! What is your resolution?

Meme Or Not Meme?

My pal over at Such Simple Pleasures tagged me for a new meme and I am just now getting around to it...sorry!

So, the rules for this meme are...copy and paste the 12 months and their characteristics. Highlight the traits that are yours and, of course, make some snide comment about it, or you can be serious, too...if that's what floats your boat. Then tag 12...won't be easy seeing as Such Simple Pleasures has tagged most of the blogs I frequent! My birthday is September 6th (mark your calendars!)...let's see what it has to say about me, shall we?

Suave and compromising: Hmmm...I don't think so.
Careful: Not really, so far this is making me out to be pretty lame.
Cautious and organized: I wish I were more organized on a regular basis. I usually don't get organized until I am so overwhelmed by the chaos. But, once I get organized I like it.
Likes to point out people’s mistakes: Who doesn't? It makes you look smarter, right?
Likes to criticize: Only in fun!
Stubborn: Well if you don't cross me and do whatever I want I am not stubborn!
Quiet but able to talk well: Quiet, no. If I were quiet nobody would ever hear me especially around my family! My husband is constantly shushing me and telling me to stop yelling. It isn't my fault, as my mom says it is a genetic defect. I consider it more of an asset than a defect; nobody ever has to ask me to repeat myself (well, except Travis who has learned how to tune me out!) But, it is half right; I am able to talk well.
Calm and cool: I guess so.
Kind and sympathetic: I am not really sympathetic. I hate listening to people complain. I don't deal well with sick people; I have to dig deep to be sympathetic to my kids when they are sick. I usually don't have it in me to be sympathetic to Travis when he is sick. But, I try to be kind.
Concerned and detailed:
Loyal but not always honest: I am the most loyal friend you ever will meet! How can you say that I like to criticize and point out people's mistakes but I am not honest? I think I am pretty darn honest!
Does work well: I am a hard working dog!
Very confident: Yep. People who aren't confident annoy me! Which reminds me of a conversation I just had with Jack.
Me: Who is the prettiest girl in your class?
Jack: Parker.
Me: Who is the smartest kid in your class?
Jack: Me.
Me: Who is the funniest?
Jack: Me.
Me: Who is the most handsome boy in the class?
Jack: Me.
Jack: Aren't you going to ask me who is the fastest runner?
Me: Sure, who is the fastest runner?
Jack: Me, of course!
He is his mommy's son!
Sensitive: I have feelings, but I think most people would consider me a little insensitive. I know my sister who I teased mercilessly growing up would say so!
Good memory: Not a chance. I can hardly remember what I had for dinner.
Clever and knowledgeable: Clever, witty, sarcastic, that's me! When my grandpa didn't know the answer to something he would come up with an elaborate explanation in attempts to make people think he knew what he was talking about. We used to call it a "fake-a-fact". I must say I have been working on perfecting this art ever since Jack started hitting me with the insane amount of questions he poses daily. Loves to look for information: I don't like to look for information that sounds like research which sounds like studying. I like to learn, but I prefer to have the knowledge wrapped up in a nice little gift!
Must control oneself when criticizing: I don't have to control myself if I don't want to! I probably should, but I must admit I don't always!
Able to motivate oneself: Absolutely, I think that is why I was so successful in sales!
Understanding: Nope, not at all.
Fun to be around: I think so, but remember I am confident!
Secretive: Nope again! I learned a long time ago that if you want to get what you want you need to let people know. I am an open book. I tell people what I want and wear my emotions on my sleeve.
Loves leisure and traveling: I sure do, but it is not easy to come by with three kids under 5!
Hardly shows emotions: See secretive.
Tends to bottle up feelings: ditto
Very choosy especially in relationships: Life is too short to not be choosy!
Systematic: I guess.

That was hard work. I don't think I have it in me to tag 12 people right now. If you want to do it, go for it. I dare you!

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.


JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Logical. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.

Only 360 More Days Until Christmas

I have officially dug out from underneath the massive heaps of laundry that I allowed to build up while my parents were visiting. I spent nearly $200 on groceries this morning replenishing our food supply since I hadn't been to the grocery store in nearly two weeks. Tomorrow I will take down the Christmas decorations and it will be back to life, as we know it.

Christmas was so much fun, I can't wait until next year! I was sick on the 22nd so I wasn't able to take Jack to the fun kids party we were planning on going to. My parents and sister took him so he didn't miss the sledding (yes, sledding in Texas, the hosts rented a snow machine and sledding ramp), balloon animal making Santa, hotdog cooking over a campfire and cookie decorating. Needless to say Jack had a great time and I got some much-needed rest!





Jack loved his Power Wheel and has been out driving it in the cold daily. I can't remember a Christmas moment better than watching Jack driving down the sidewalk pumping his arms in the air as though he had just scored a touch down. It was great; I won't forget it and I don't think he will either.

Ben loved playing with each of his gifts as he opened them. He actually got annoyed when we told him to open another gift because he was busy playing with something else. It was great to see him appreciate everything he got. I know it makes the grandparents happy to know he likes his gift!

Lauren understood that the more packages she opened the more new toys she got. We didn't have to talk her into opening the next gift. When all of her presents were gone she looked at me and said, "More please, mom". At least the greedy little brat was polite!

My mom loved the platter that I painted for her. I have wanted to post a picture of it because I am so proud of it, but I couldn't since my mom reads my blog. Now that the kitty is out of the bag I will share it with ya'll. The snowmen are Ben, Lauren and my nephew Drew's footprints and the tree is Jack's footprint.



I have a lot more stories about the kids over the last week, but I can't think of them right now. I will post them as they come to me!

Shout Out!

I had my first Tysabri infusion today. All went well, I am feeling good. I am a little tired, but it could be because I got up at 4:30am to take care of sick kids, or it could be the Benadryl they gave me before I left or it could be the nearly 3 hour rush hour drive I had on the way home. Seeing all of the other MS patients reminded me how lucky I am. I am in great shape and hopefully this new medicine will keep me this way long enough to find a cure! My girlfriends deserve a giant shout out! Ben and Lauren were sick, but Trisha still took care of them without reservation. Anne picked Jack up at school and had him for 5 hours. My friends rock, I am the luckiest girl in the world!

The Things You Do For Love...

December 6th I ordered the Power Wheels for Jack from Walmart.com, I choose the site to store option in order to save money on shipping. When I placed the order the confirmation said that the car would arrive in 7 to 10 days. Yesterday was day 11 and I still had not received word that it is in. At 3:45 I called Walmart.com to get to the bottom of the situation, the first guy I talked to told me to wait until Thursday to see if it turned up. I explained to the young man that by Thursday they wouldn't have enough time to remedy the situation. He told me there was nothing else he could do for me. When I explained that I needed a better response than that he "put me on hold" so he could check with a manager. I was disconnected...in my mind I picture the customer service guy, Randy, as the Grinch before his heart grew three sizes. I was not going to be defeated that easily! I called back and the recording told me that the wait for a customer service person was 30 minutes. Did I hold, you bet your ass I did; now I was pissed! The poor unfortunate woman who answered the phone at least had two brain cells to rub together and had a heart so she was able to understand the importance of my 4-year-old getting his Christmas wish. She attempted to give me the same song and dance as Randy, but was able to put me on hold, without disconnecting me, to talk to several different managers. While I was on the phone I cooked and ate dinner. By 7:15pm (yes, you read that right, 3 1/2 hours later) the girl told me there was nothing else she could do to help, the Power Wheels was lost and she would be happy to return my money. I told the girl that I need the Power Wheels and at this point I don't have time to order it from anyone else. She then suggested that I call the Walmarts in my area to see if they have any. I suggested that since she was Walmart corporate she might as well do that for me. I nearly died laughing when she told me that she could check into it for me but it would probably take at least 15 minutes or I could do it myself. HA! She wasn't going to get off that easily! I was not going to get off the phone until I had a resolution. So, she put me back on hold. Finally she came back and told me the "great" news, the Walmart 3 miles away from me has one in stock. How strange, that is where the one I ordered was suppose to go; now they have one. Coincidence? I think not!

Travis went to pick up the Power Wheel immediately so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I just wanted to have it in my possession. After Jack went to bed Travis stayed up late to put it together in our living room while I was on guard so Jack didn't see it. Jack that sneaky little devil knew he was missing out on something, he just didn't know what!

This is the first time I really had to kick some retail ass in order to get my kid his wish. It made me think about what my mother must have gone through to get my sister and I Cabbage Patch Dolls, Nintendo, etc. My mom was the woman in the neighborhood that put herself on every list for the next Cabbage Patch shipment and got up at 4am the day after Thanksgiving so secure the gift of the year. She often ended up with more than enough of the popular present and supplied many of the other kids in our neighborhood with their Christmas wish as well! It is such a good feeling to really understand how much your mommy loves you! I can't wait for the day that Jack understands the massive amounts of love I have for him!

You Might Be A Redneck...

As I was having my nails done this afternoon this is the conversation I overheard:

Ms. Redneck: Do you go to China for Christmas"
Nail Tech: No
Ms. Redneck: Do you do any Chinese traditions at Christmas?
Nail Tech: No, I am from Vietnam.
Ms. Redneck: Oh, you must really like sushi!
Nail Tech: ummm...

I love the people in Texas, everyone is genuinely nice, but we do seem to have a larger percentage of rednecks. If you are ignorant, do us all a favor and just shut your pie hole!

Travis has a friend he used to work with that has a teenage son. The son met his girlfriend's parents for the first time last week. Shortly after the meeting Travis' friend received a call from the girlfriend's mom, she did not want the kids to see each other anymore because he is black. What? Are you kidding me? Is this 1960? He is a good kid, intelligent and preppy, what's not to like? Who cares? Will there always be rednecks like this or are we become a more civilized country?

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Ebenezer, I mean Travis, was out of town hunting with his buddies this weekend, which allowed the kids and I to enjoy a lot of Christmas fun. We woke up early and made sugar cookies, dipped some chocolate pretzels and made a batch of snicker doodles all while singing to Christmas music. Then we went to a new pottery-painting place by our house and painted Christmas ornaments then we treated ourselves to Sonic for all of our hard work. When we got home Ben and Lauren went down for their naps while Jack and I dipped some vanilla pretzels. Jack helped me print our calendar. For Jack's first Christmas I made a calendar of pictures from each month and filled in the dates with all of the family's birthdays and anniversaries. I really wouldn't mind stopping this little tradition, but the calendars have become expected by all of the grandparents. After we finished the printing we headed over to Kinko's to get them spiral bound. When we got home we popped popcorn, watched Christmas movies and wrapped the last of the gifts.

Now, all I have to do is write a Christmas letter and choose a picture to send out. I have been putting it off, not because I don't like to write, but because I don’t know what to say. You don't want to brag, but you do want to be interesting. What do you say anyway? Jack is in preschool and is learning to write his name; sometimes he even makes his 'J' in the correct direction. Ben and Lauren are 2; they enjoy making their mother crazy. Travis changed jobs, but I didn't I am still a stay at home mom. Well, that pretty much sums it up which leaves me with approximately 3/4 of a page to fill. Then there is the picture. What should I send? The picture of the kids screaming on Santa's lap? The Halloween picture where they are all smiling but you can't really tell what they look like? A picture that is nearly a year old where everyone is smiling? Or, do I try to talk Travis into having a family picture taken so our friends in Nebraska don't think we have gotten fat? Well I better get started on that letter!

It's A Gift...

I am usually not one to brag about my parenting, but if I do say so myself, I deserve props for this one...even if it is just from myself. Last year I started a little tradition with Jack. I have him choose two of his toys that he feels he has out grown for his brother and sister for Christmas. He didn't really get it last year, but I thought it was important for him to understand the giving part of Christmas. But, this year he actually put thought into which of his toys Ben and Lauren like to play with then took the time to wrap the gifts himself. I am kind of a wrapping perfectionist, so I was pretty proud of myself for not "helping" him wrap the gifts. The gifts look like crap, but you should have seen him beaming when he put them under the tree. I think this year I am going to have Ben and Lauren pick something out to give to their cousin Drew! Go ahead; tell me what a great idea it is! I should write a book or something...

You're Fired!

I forgot to post this conversation Jack and I had after his Christmas program. I am still laughing...

Jack: Where is dad going?
Me: He is going back to work.
Jack: Why?
Me: He has work to do.
Jack: Was he supposed to be at work while he was at my program?
Me: Yep, he took time off to come see you!
Jack: Does his boss know that?
Me: I think so.
Jack: Is he going to get fired?
Me: I hope not!

Who's Stinky?

I am so embarrassed again! Today I had to go to the hospital to have blood drawn for a JC virus test in preparation of my first Tysabri infusion. Jack was at school so I only had Ben and Lauren with me, thank goodness. We waited and waited, then waited some more until the lady who admitted me noticed that I was still waiting an hour later and admitted they must have forgotten about me. We finally got in to have my blood test with a cranky nurse who was training a friendly young nurse. I just kept thinking that it is only a matter of time before this cut-rate hospital makes the friendly trainee a bitter burn out too. When I got done I bent over to help Ben and Lauren get their jackets on.

Me: (addressing Ben and Lauren) Who's stinky?
Cranky nurse: Oh, that's me, sorry.
Me: Oh, that's okay, I am just glad I don't have to change your diaper.

Oh my God, did I just say that? I thought Ben or Lauren had pooped in their diaper; I wasn't trying to call the nurse out. Then, what made me comment about her diaper? Open mouth, insert foot!

Falling For REI

Jack had his Christmas program at school yesterday. He really was a dog and was listed in the program as one of the "leads". He spent a lot of time with his hands in his pockets or fidgeting with the jingle bell necklace he was provided with for the last song. When he went on stage to lick the baby Jesus he forgot to put his mask over his face, but he did get a big laugh when he pretended to lick the baby!

I tried to get Jack to forget about the reception after the program, but no such luck. So, we swung by the reception, grabbed a cookie and headed to the mall. I was going to finish my Christmas shopping come hell or high water. While we were at the mall we gave Santa another try. We got there around 1:30, all of the preschoolers must have been home napping and the big kids were still at school so there was no line! We walked right up which never happens at this Santa! It was Deja Vu all over again, as soon as I unbuckled Ben and Lauren they started crying. Santa was able to calm Ben down, but Lauren wasn't having it. We now have a picture of Ben looking pissed off, Jack smiling like a game show host and Lauren all out crying. By the time we left Santa Ben was high-fiving Santa and saying, "See ya Santa, thank you!” Santa got greedy and tried to high-five Lauren who snubbed him. I hope Santa still brings her something! We ran into JC Penney's for a shirt for my father-in-law, then to Victoria's Secret for a couple more gifts. By the end of our trip my legs were getting really tired, but I had to keep going! I stopped by a Mexican restaurant for a gift certificate for my brother-in-law then headed to REI for a couple gifts for "the boys" (the male halves of our couple friends). I knew what I needed, Travis showed it to be online, so I ran in with all three kids in tow, grabbed the goods and headed to the cash register. Ben and Jack noticed that I was busy paying and saw it as an opportunity to run amuck. I kept my eye on them as I finished my transaction, then it was time to go! I was carrying Lauren and had both boys following me, as soon as I got to the door Ben took off back into the store. I turned around, caught my foot on the rug that wasn't quite flat and fell down. We aren't just talking about tripping, I all out fell with Lauren in my arms. My purchases went flying, Ben stopped running to ask "What happened mommy? Why did you fall down?" and Jack just froze completely horrified. I will admit, I was a little horrified too, how embarrassing! I twisted my ankle; hit my knee, hip and elbow. Luckily, Lauren was okay, but she is still telling anyone who will listen about how she fell at the camping store. I should have just gone home after the mall when I could tell my legs were getting tired, but Nooo, not me, must keep going!

The good news is that I officially finished my Christmas shopping last night with a final online purchase for my neighbor that baby-sits the kids twice a week (for FREE). We bought him a $100 gift card that can be used to buy major league baseball tickets at the Rangers or his favorite team, the Cleveland Indians. They actually charged me $5 to ship the gift card. I was pretty annoyed, but I was down right hacked off when I saw that purchases over $99 shipped for free. I spent several minutes surfing around the sight to figure out how to redeem the free shipping. Come to find out the gift card does not qualify for free shipping. Why? I don't get it, if you spend over $99 on merchandise, that costs real money to ship, you don't have to pay shipping, but if you buy a gift card that could be sent with a 41 cent stamp you still have to pay. Call it a handling charge; just don't tell me that it is shipping!

Annoying Neighbor No More

So I have mentioned my annoying neighbor many times before. If you have been reading my blog for a while you read this post about Halloween. Well, I haven't heard from the annoying neighbors since the incident. The daughter used to come over after school 3 or 4 times a week to play with the kids and I haven't seen her for 6 weeks. At first I was enjoying a well-deserved break, then I started to think it was strange. So, I checked with our cool neighbors.

Me: So, have you seen Ms. T and Amy?
Cool Neighbor: Yeah, I was over there for game night last night.
Me: Oh, I haven't seen them since Halloween. I hope I didn't hurt their feelings when I didn't take Amy trick or treating.
Cool Neighbor: Well, I think they just assumed that Amy would go with you guys, so they got upset.

Now what do I do? I am sorry that I hurt their feelings, but I am not sorry with the way I handled Halloween. I had a house full of people and other plans with our friends. And, you know what happens when you assume, right? Makes an ASS out of U and ME. I don't really miss their friendship, they kind of annoy me, but at the same time I hate to hurt someone's feelings. What do you think? How should I handle this?

Anarchy

I need to start carrying that damn elf in my purse! It has been raining all day. I want to complain, but I have seen the national news and heard about all of the ice the midwest is having. At least it is 68 degrees here! The rain was hardly falling when I walked out the Walmart doors. As I walked to the north forty where I was forced to park due to the masses of Christmas shoppers the rain fell harder and harder. By the time I arrived at the car with my cart load of groceries and a couple more Christmas presents it was an all out downpour. I quickly put the kids in the car, so they wouldn't get wet (read: drenched), and instructed them to climb into their seats. After I got the groceries in the car I went to buckle Ben and Lauren into their seats and realized they had locked the doors. I had the keys in my hand, but by the time I locked the doors, then hit unlock twice so the back doors would unlock they would push the button down again. My white shirt was becoming more and more transparent as Ben and Lauren looked me in the face and laughed. It was hard to be mad at those little faces as they beamed with pride for their new game. By the time I finally got in the car and was cold and wet it was a lot easier to be annoyed!

The Elf On The Shelf

I bought a great book for my kids and have started the most fabulous tradition. The Elf On The Shelf comes with a 1950s style felt elf and a book with beautiful watercolor illustrations. I heard about it at MOPS, then it was all the talk at bunco that same night. I called 5 (yes five!) stores within 30 minutes of us to see if they had the book in stock. Only one of them did, the others had them on order. I asked the one that had them if they had a lot, I was told they had 6 left, but they had 24 the day before. I asked her to put my name on one, by the time I purchased mine 30 minutes later they were down to two! These books are selling like hotcakes! The book explains how Santa knows if you are naughty or nice. Santa sends a magical elf to watch over you. You can talk to the elf but he can't talk to you, it is one of Santa's rules. You are not allowed to touch the elf or he might lose his magic. At night the elf flies to the North Pole to play with his friends and tell Santa if you were naughty or nice that day. He will be back at your house before you wake up in the morning, but he will be in a different spot. My kids love getting up and looking for where Mr. Scotters (you name your elf as soon as you read the book the first time) is going to hang out that day. It has been so much fun to watch the kids work together to find the elf and it has helped me figure out what Jack told Santa he wanted for Christmas. It is really sweet to watch Jack talk to Mr. Scotters, Ben and Lauren ask me to lift them up every morning so they can say good morning. Yesterday I saw Jack standing eye to eye with Mr. Scotters scrunching up his face like he was in pain. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he wanted to touch Mr. Scotters so bad, but he didn't want him to lose his magic so he was trying not to. How cute is that? I cannot recommend this book enough. It is kind of expensive, but I have already gotten my money's worth watching my kids enjoy the holiday season! Not to mention the improved behavior I have been enjoying!

Doggy Dog World

Me: Do you have a part in the Christmas program?
Jack: Yep.
Me: Wow, that's great! What are you?
Jack: A dog.
Me: A dog? There isn't a dog in the Christmas story.
Jack: Yes there is.
Me: What do you do?
Jack: I lick the baby Jesus.

At this point I am ready to throw the bullshit flag, but I didn't want to be too hasty just incase he really was a dog. So, I tried to ask a few more questions.

Me: Do you wear a costume?
Jack: Nope.
Me: How are people supposed to know you are a dog?
Jack: I wear a mask.

I was pretty sure he was pulling my leg, but I didn't really know where to go from here, so I let it go and decided to check his story with a friend of mine who teaches at the preschool. And, you know what? He was telling the truth! He is going to be a dog in the Christmas program. I am so proud.

Thank You

Six years ago today Travis went to work. He had a big presentation to make so he went in. When his boss heard what was happening at home he gave Travis a week or so paid leave so we could be together. While I was home alone with my thoughts on the day after Nate and Spence were born, this is what I wrote. Whenever I need a good cry I read this, I don't even know if Travis knows I get into our memory box and reminisce several times a year.

Dear Nate & Spence,

Your lives were cut too short. You came too soon and you left too early. I didn't know that I should be treasuring every time you made me throw up and every ache and pain you gave me. Or, did I refuse to believe that you wouldn't be coming home to live a full and complete life with me. I can't help but cry when I remember that my boys are no longer inside of me. I spent 23 weeks and four days with you that I will never forget. I held you and loved you every second you were alive. I am sorry that your dad only had a few short hours with you. I had a dream that you both had brown hair, I was right. But, I never dreamed that you would be so small. Even at 2 lbs 1.1 ozs and 1 lb 10.4 ozs I could still see how perfect you were. Ten fingers and ten toes, isn't that what everyone asks for? I didn't know I should be asking for strong lungs too. Isn't that a given? Nate, you had your daddy's head. The little hospital hat would only sit on top of your head. I was holding each of you when you took your last breath. I hope you look back at that time as a time of comfort like I do. I didn't truly feel pain until you were gone. All I have left to remember you by are the little molds of your hands and feet, a few snips of hair and the outfits you wore on your first and last day outside the womb. I wish you could have taken more to remember me by. All I think you took was my heart. Don't worry; I want you to keep it. I know another one will grow back eventually. I know your time with me was short, but please don't forget how much your mommy loves you. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you. Thank you for making me a stronger person. Thank you for showing me that the best gifts do come in small packages. Thank you for sharing your lives with me. But most of all thank you for making what I thought was a strong marriage even stronger.

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday Nate & Spence

Six years ago last night I was sitting in the nasty recliner on bed rest watching the Huskers play a night game while Travis snored in the chair next to me. Don't ask me if they won or lost or whom they played, I am not one of those fans that memorize facts! It was my first pregnancy, I wasn't sure what contractions felt like but I thought I might be having them. I spent over an hour attempting to will the contractions away because it was much too early, but they just weren't listening. When the game finally ended around 11pm I woke up Travis so we could go to bed. I mentioned that I thought I might be having a few contractions. Travis being the logical one thought we ought to go to the hospital and have it checked out. By the time we arrived at the hospital the contractions were starting to hurt. I was admitted, examined and the doctor on call established that I was indeed in labor. They tried to stop the labor. I can't remember the medicine that they gave me, but it was brutal. I didn't have any medicine for the pain because they were trying to stop labor and the medicine they gave me was making me shake uncontrollably. The attempts to stop the labor failed and the doctor came in and asked if we wanted to deliver vaginally or via c-section. C-sections are less traumatizing to extremely small babies, but the recovery is tough and I needed a classic c-section, which would jeopardize future pregnancies. The doctor left the room for Travis and I to make a decision. When the doctor returned we were still just as lost as the minute he told us we were going to have to deliver. The doctor did us a giant favor and told us that if I were his wife he would have her deliver vaginally. He then proceeded to check to see how I was progressing, I was already at a 10. I had gone through the entire labor process without pain medication, I am not sure why they gave me an epidural at that point, but they did. I was bending over feeling the urge to push as they were jamming the giant needle in my back. I was then wheeled into the operating room to deliver. Nate and Spence were born a little after midnight on December 9th. I pushed very few times to get both babies out. The labor was so easy the doctor assured us that we made the right decision going with the vaginal birth. Nathan Kenneth came first; he weighed 2 lbs 1 oz then came Spencer Arnold weighing in at 1 lb 10.5 ozs. The babies were both assigned a team of specialists that swooped them off and hooked them up to oxygen, respirators and various machines. I was allowed to look at them for a short while before Travis and I were taken back to the recovery room. We weren't there long before the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) called and asked us to come down to visit Nate and Spence. Nate wasn't doing well, which we expected because he had been without amniotic fluid from the time I was 16 weeks along. He was having trouble breathing. Spence was doing better, he was on the respirator but he didn't have any brain bleeds, which was great news. We had to make the decision to let Nate go, the hospital Chaplin baptized him and Travis held me while I held him as he took his last breath. We were then ushered in a daze back to the recovery room. It was now 6am or so and a decent hour to call my parents to update them. They rushed right over to the hospital, when they arrived Travis headed home to take a quick shower. At this point we were fairly sure Spence was going to make it, but he would have to spend several months in the NICU before he would be able to come home with us. Then the phone rang, it was a nurse in the NICU, she wanted us to come down to see Spence. I explained that we would come down as soon as my husband got back. The nurse then told me we didn't have that kind of time, they were losing Spence. I called Travis at home, he was just getting out of the shower, he threw on some clothes and drove at over a hundred miles per hour to get back to the hospital. It was happening all over again. The doctors kept Spence alive until Travis got back and our pastor arrived. Our pastor (the same guy who confirmed me and married us) baptized Spence as I held him then we held him as he passed away. I was so numb, but the pain was still unbearable. The wonderful nurses supplied us with disposable cameras so we could take pictures of us holding the babies, they also took close up pictures of their tiny little bodies, someone made little molds of the precious little hands and feet. All of these keep sakes now reside in our master bedroom along with the clothes they were wearing and their ashes. When we were ready, we went back to the recovery room that had two white roses taped to the door as a code telling the nurses that our babies had died. I wanted nothing more than to wake myself up from this nightmare, but I couldn't, nobody could. I wanted to get as far away from those white roses as possible so Travis and I packed up and went home that same afternoon, as soon as the doctors would allow.

I would like nothing more than to be at Chuck E. Cheeses or some other hell on earth celebrating the birthday of my 6-year-old boys. But I don't want to give up the kids we have. If Nate and Spence would have lived, there would be no Jack, no Ben and no Lauren; we were planning to be done after two kids. As the years go by the pain isn't as raw, but it is still intense, I will never be the same.

Something good did happen on this day. Not only has this experience strengthened our marriage, three years ago Ben and Lauren were conceived. I know that is probably too much information, but I find it extremely noteworthy. It is really hard to not believe in a higher power when things like that happen!

When Jack was born we started a tradition of giving him a birthday present to celebrate the twins’ birthday. Today was no different each of the kids got a little stuffed animal and a book to share. I want the kids to always know that they have brothers in heaven. I haven’t given them all of the details, but they know that their brothers would have been 6-years-old today. Jack asked a couple of tough questions today about why his brothers don’t live on earth with us. I think Jack summed it up when he told me with tears in his eyes that he would sure like to have two older brothers living with him. Me too.

Oh No, He Didn't!

I am not sure if I need to have Jack's ears checked again or if he just doesn't speak Ebonics. While we were at the mall the other day a sweet African American woman said something about how the kids were very cute. I will admit, she had quite a southern drawl and was very difficult to understand. I smiled and said thank you assuming that was it when Jack yelled "MOM, WHAT DID THAT BLACK LADY SAY?” I just ignored the question hoping it would go away when he yelled even louder "MOM, I ASKED YOU, WHAT DID THAT BLACK LADY SAY, SHE TALKS LIKE A BABY!". Kill me now.

It Could Happen To Me

I lived in Omaha, NE from age 2 to 29 excluding a few years that I was in college in Lincoln (about an hour away), so it is safe to say Omaha has been a huge part of my life! I always felt very safe there when we heard things about the Oklahoma City bombing, Columbine, 9/11 and other tragedies I felt sad for those people but knew that would never happen where I lived. Until yesterday when an asshole with a gun entered Westroads mall, a place I used to shop all of the time, and killed nine people, injured at least 5 more and killed himself. I will not use his name, nor will I ever speak it because that is what he wanted, he wanted to "be famous", what a fool. My best friend was at the mall earlier in the day, my sister-in-law's friend was shot in the arm, and my dad works with a woman who was there during the shooting and with another whose husband works at Von Maur. If this could happen in Omaha it can happen anywhere. I hate that I am raising my kids in a time that this kind of crap happens. I feel for everyone who was at the mall yesterday, but particularly for the mothers who were shopping with their young kids who will never be the same. I can't imagine having to explain this tragedy to Jack. I love that he is so innocent and I want to keep it that way!

You'd Better Not Pout...

I met my sister at the mall today so we could get the kids' pictures taken with Santa. Ben and Lauren are still not Santa fans. We ended up with a picture of Ben on one knee, Lauren on the other and Jack standing between Santa's legs. Ben and Lauren are screaming their fool heads off while Jack has a faux smile pasted on his annoyed little face. Meanwhile, my nephew who is only one, smiled like a champ. Life just isn't fair!

Jack has wanted a power wheels for over a year. He asked for one for Christmas last year. Our only saving grace was that he froze up when he saw Santa last year and forgot to ask him for the power wheels. This year he wasn't going to let that happen again. I had everyone loaded in the car when he realized that he had forgotten his list, he made me run in and get it. When we got to the mall he stuffed his list in Santa's face then explained the power wheels in detail; "the one that looks like a Jeep that my brother or sister can ride with me, it has big tires so I can drive it in the grass and the hood is open so you can see the engine". Just then the woman pedaling the pictures interrupted me to discuss which over price picture I would like to purchase. I finished paying for my picture just as Jack was finishing up his conversation with Santa, all I heard was:

Jack: Did you get all that Santa?
Santa: Yep, I sure did, I will see what we can do, we can't always get EVERYTHING on your list.
Jack: You got the power wheels, right?
Santa: I sure did!

Everything, what? I had only heard about the power wheels and the remote control car. I have the remote control car covered, but Travis and I just don't want to spend $400 on the power wheels. That toy is so expensive, and Santa said he got it...yikes, get your checkbook out Santa! On the way to lunch I decided to quiz Jack on the rest of the things he asked Santa for.

Me: What did you ask Santa for?
Jack: Power Wheels
Me: Did you ask for anything else?
Jack: Yep.
Me: What else?
Jack: You'll see Christmas morning!

Now what? How am I going to figure out what else he asked for? This kid will be the death of me! Why won't he just tell me? If he doesn't spill it he is going to be the one who is surprised Christmas morning, not me!

Clueless

I was treating myself to a cup of hot cider while I watched Good Morning American and listened to Ben and Lauren playing together nicely in their room when all hell broke loose. I heard a giant crash and rather than crying I heard accusations "Benny did it!” "No, Lolo did it!". I ran upstairs to find their dresser completely emptied out, clothes strewn from one end of the room to the other, and the dresser on it's side.

Lauren: Benny trashed my room; look (pointing at the dresser) he broke it!
Ben: No, Lolo did it!
Me: What happened?
Lauren: Benny did it!
Ben: Lolo did it!
Me: Ben did you do this?
Ben: No, Lolo did it!
Me: Lauren did you do this?
Lauren: No, Benny did it!
Me: Who did this?

At the very same time they both accused the other by pointing and saying "Benny/Lolo did it!” I am afraid this will not be the last time they accuse each other and I end up leaving the room just as clueless as I was when I walked in.

I finally got over feeling like a complete fool so I decided to talk to Jack.

Me: When is Scooby Doo going to be over?
Jack: When they take the bad guys mask off, duh.
Me: We are going to go see Santa, when will you be ready to go?
Jack: I already told you, when they take the bad guys mask off.

When did I become so stupid? I thought that didn't happen until the kids were teenagers. I can't imagine how stupid I will be then!

Sicko

I never saw Fahrenheit 911; I just assumed that it was crap and that I didn't care for Michael Moore. However, when he came out with Sicko I thought it was worth checking out. In the current health care situation Travis or I will always need to have a part time job that offers benefits even after we retire. I am only insurable when I am in a group plan. If I would be able to get health insurance it would be unaffordable. Even with insurance my medicine is $100 per month. So, I am open to ideas when it comes to a national health plan. I have heard all of the critics talk about the long lines at doctors and hospitals in countries with socialized medicine, but I will say Moore was able to dig up several people that couldn't complain about the wait when they see the doctor. As a matter of fact he actually interviewed people in a socialized emergency room that only waited 20 minutes. That 20-minute wait seems like a dream compared to the last time I waited in the emergency room for over an hour with Travis as he was in anaphylactic shock! I can't remember a documentary that actually brought me to tears. There were several times that I cried. He talked about an 18 month old that was turned away from the nearest emergency room because that hospital didn't have an agreement with her insurance company, while the baby was being transported to a participating hospital she had a seizure and died. Moore told a story about a woman who had breathing problems because she was a rescue volunteer on 9/11. Because she was a volunteer and not a paid employee the government is not taking care of her. Her breathing treatments are over $100, but in Cuba it costs about 5 cents. Why do we as Americans in one of the richest countries in the world allow this to happen? We claim to be a country that cares about human rights, but when it comes right down to it shouldn't our health be one of those rights? Travis and I actually discussed moving to Europe after we retire!

Plastic Pink Princess Pumps

Lauren got a pair of the plastic dress up shoes for her birthday and I can't seem to loose them no matter how hard I try. If you don't have little girls you are unfamiliar with the pain these plastic pumps can inflict on an unsuspecting bare foot. To make matters worse she calls them her princess shoes. I really don't care for princesses, I try to get her interested in My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake or even Barbies, but for some reason she keeps coming back to princesses. When I look at the Disney princesses the only one that comes to mind that isn't totally worthless is Mulan. The remainder just married well; Cinderella, Belle, Snow White, Ariel. I just don't want Lauren to think that the only thing that will make her happy or successful is to marry a prince. But, on the other hand if she is a princess, that makes me a queen!

Unfortunately, Lauren and I are not the only royalty at our house; our little Benny is a drag queen. He loves those damn plastic shoes. He likes nothing more than to put on the pumps and a string of pearls and run away from his sister. If Lauren would stop crying "MY PRINCESS, MY PRINCESS" and just run she might actually catch him. It is pretty impressive how he is able to run in those heels! Today I found him standing in the middle of our living room buck naked, because he had removed his own diaper, holding his jewels (and we aren’t talking the sparkly kind) wearing the pumps and pearls with a giant smile on his little face. Jack never had the opportunity to express himself the same way Ben gets to. Travis didn't want Jack to have any girl toys; dolls, kitchen sets and pumps were out of the question. Only time will tell which son will be better adjusted...