Happy Pumpkin Station Day

Gone are the days of wearing your Halloween costume to school, participating in the Halloween parade and enjoying a Halloween cupcake. Today I, as room mother, will be facilitating the Kindergarten "pumpkin stations". That's right, you can't even celebrate Halloween in the public schools anymore! Why? I don't know. Whom does Halloween offend? Whose civil liberties are sacrificed by a Halloween party? I will never know! So, to get around the Halloween thing we celebrate fall by having "pumpkin stations" on Halloween, just don't say the 'H' word. We will have five stations; pumpkin decorating, Fall bingo, decorating pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bean bag toss and harvest mix graphing.

After the pumpkin station party I will be rushing my kids home to start Halloween. We are going to a Halloween party at a friend's house complete with a bounce house, bobbing for apples and costume contest. The party starts at 4pm, we will live it up as fast as we can, then rush home to meet neighbors for pizza before trick-or-treating at 5:30. Tomorrow we will be going to another family Halloween costume party. Jack and Ben will be Nebraska football players, Lauren will be a Nebraska cheerleader and I will be a Nebraska fan complete with a corn hat (on loan from my brother-in-law). I am still trying to convince Travis to be a fan with me, but he read the fine print on the invitation that said, "costumes are not required". Boring! Maybe Travis is the guy whose civil liberties are at risk. We no longer have Halloween parties in public schools to protect fun haters everywhere!

Unanswered Prayers

Me: Jack it's time to wake up.
Jack: Is it Halloween?
Me: No, Halloween is tomorrow!

Jack opened his eyes and wearily sat up in bed. He laced his little fingers together, put his folded hands in front of his face and squinted his little eyes shut.

Jack: Dear Jesus, please make today Halloween. I can't wait any longer!

Conference Time

I went to Jack's conference this afternoon. Travis wasn't able to make it; he made an emergency trip to Nebraska to help his grandparents. The conference went really well. His teacher gave rave reviews about his behavior and progress. She pointed out two areas that need work; when counting to 100 he always skips the number 13 (which I knew) and that he needs to work on his writing but is definitely 'getting it'. I treated Jack to his choice of restaurants for dinner. He picked Sonic. He ordered a 'hot wiener dog' because his teacher has a wiener dog. He got to order whatever he wanted so he had a slush with his dinner and a hot fudge sundae for dessert. When we got home he drew a picture of our special dinner and wrote TWO sentences. "We wt to Sonic fur god rpt crd. I had a ht wenrdug." Translated, we went to Sonic for good report card. I had a hot wiener dog. Based on what his teacher taught me at conferences he did a great job! He worked really hard on his spacing and punctuation and most importantly he was proud of himself! The trick is going to be keeping him this excited! At bath time he wanted to use a color tablet. I told him he could have the tablet if he counted to 100 without a mistake. He counted perfectly! I am a proud mama!

Birth Defect

So I heard on the radio that you are born with (or in my case without) rhythm. That's right, it is in your genes. So, my lack of dancing skill is not due to lack of trying, but due in fact to a birth defect.

Old School vs. New School

Everyone knows the trouble I have had with potty training Ben. He is still not potty trained, but it is not for lack of trying. I am not totally stressed about it. He will do it when he is ready. I successfully trained two other kids, it is not me! This kid is stubborn and he just isn't ready. I had a discussion with my Pediatrician at Ben's last appointment and he advised me to let the potty training go completely for at least a month, then try again. He said that it would be worse if I tried to push him.

My grandma has been staying with me for the last few days. She made a remark here and there about how she would just put him in underwear and let him be wet, etc. I brushed it off explaining my Pediatrician's advice. After all, she is nearly 83 years old, when was the last time she potty trained a kid?

Today, I chaperoned Jack's field trip to the pumpkin patch. I left the house at 8:20am and expected to return around 11:30. Come to find out we loaded up the buses at 11:30, then waited for a child who had diarrhea to get out of the port-a-potty. We didn't return to school until 12:30pm. When I got home Ben was asleep on the couch and grandma proceeded to give me a full report of the time they spent together.

We went outside shortly after you left. Unfortunately, Ben pooped in his diaper. Lauren fell off her bike and got a small scrape on her knee. Lauren kept telling me that I should changes Ben pants, but quite frankly changing big kid's poop disgusts me.

Ben slept until 3:30pm, so he went approximately 7 hours with poop in his pants because it disgusts my grandma. She better hope that she can always control her bowels and if she can't Ben isn't in charge of changing her because paybacks can be hell!

That being said, I love my grandma and I have enjoyed my time with her, but what was she thinking? She did admit that she was ashamed that he sat in poop for that long. Poor Benny.

Geography Lesson

Jack: Why does the United States flag always fly higher than the Texas flag?
Me: Because the United States is our country.
Jack: What is Texas?
Me: Texas is our state, just like Nebraska is a state.
Jack: Nebraska is not a state it is a football team.

The kid is wise beyond his years...

Picture Perfect

My grandma and I took the kids to the arboretum yesterday. It was a beautiful afternoon. I couldn't resist showing off these pictures.

He's Got Spirit!

Today was Crazy Hair Day at school. Jack was up before 6am with anticipation! He has been planning his hair do for weeks. Check him out! He goes to Eddins and their school colors are orange and blue.

Go Wildcats!

Big Head Dad

I took Ben and Lauren up to school this morning to take yearbook photos of Donuts with Dad. As we were leaving they were crying because they didn't get a chance to say goodbye to daddy. So, we waited by his car for him to come out.

Ben: I see daddy's little head!!
Lauren: Then it isn't our daddy...our daddy has a BIG head!

Failed Family Fun

Today was one of those days that nothing went my way. I woke up with a fun day for the kids planned. Farmers market to pick out pumpkins, gym, painting pumpkins, watching the Husker game and having the neighbors over for dinner to make our own pizzas with sundaes for dessert. We got up early and went to the farmers market. Today was supposed to be a pumpkin festival of sorts. I told the kids we would go buy some big pumpkins. I had never been to this particular market before, but I am not a farmer’s market novice. I loaded up the wagon only to discover that I actually had to remove the handle with a screwdriver and wrench to make it fit in the car. We drove to the market, unloaded the wagon, got the tools back out and put the handle back on. We went through the small gate to only find four small stands. Just one of the stands had one pumpkin of any size. The price? Fifteen clams! Yikes, I can buy four pumpkins for that price at Tom Thumb. I let the kids each pick out a small decorative gourd and we were out of there within 10 minutes. We took the handle off the wagon again, and then loaded it back into the car. We hit the gym then stopped by Tom Thumb for big pumpkins, pizza supplies and sundae toppings. When we got home we had a message from our dinner guests. They have a sick child and wouldn't be able to come. Darn, I was really looking forward to that! The shopping trip and message took the wind out of my sails to I watched our latest Netflix to regroup. After my movie, I turned on the game and watched the kids paint their pumpkins.


The kids were covered from head to toe in black paint, not to mention my kitchen chairs. After I cleaned up the chairs I put the kids in the tub. I scrubbed the paint off the kids, then off the tub. I could tell I was trying to hard to make family fun because everyone including me was on edge. We decided to make the most of being stood up and still made our own pizzas.

The kids had fun making yet another mess for me to clean up. By this point the NU vs. Tech game was tied so I left the kids for a second and watched a little more intently. We lost in overtime. Damn! When I got back to the table I found Ben chewing and chewing on raw pizza dough. It turned the kid off and he wouldn't even touch his cooked pizza. Just as I was pulling the pizzas out of the oven I turned to see Ben peeing on the kitchen floor. Shoot! I forgot that he asked to wear underwear after his bath! After we digested our pizza we made our sundaes. Before I even had the last bowl of ice cream scooped Lauren had flipped hers on the floor.

Me: Lauren, what happened?!?!
Lauren: My ice cream fell on the floor.
Me: How did that happen?
Lauren: I was screwing around.


I am so tired trying to make a day of family fun and to be real honest; I didn't have a lot of fun. I don't know if it just isn't the same without Travis (he went to Lubbock for the game) or what. I just hope the kids had a good time. I put the kids to bed early because I was so beat. Within minutes of getting everyone settled our doorbell rang. Our neighbors boo'd us at 8:05pm. Is that too late for 3 and 5 year olds or am I being an old fuddy duddy with nothing to do on a Saturday night?

Swimming With The Flies

Ben: Mommy! There is water leaking from the toilet.
Me: What are you doing in the bathroom.
Ben: I was flushing a fly.
Me: Where did you get a fly?
Ben: From the office.
Me: Thanks for taking care of it.
Ben: There is water leaking from the toilet!
Me: Why is there water leaking from the toilet?
Ben: I kept flushing and flushing the fly, then the water came up and started leaking out of the toilet and onto the floor.
Me: What?!?! Why didn't you say that?
Ben: I did!

It took me so long to get the message there was water all over the floor by the time I got to the bathroom. Gross.

Pumpkin Patch Party Pooper

When we got to the pumpkin patch we were greeted by a friendly older gentleman who handed each kid a cup of animal feed. Lauren didn't even want hold the cup of feed so I grabbed it from the man and we walked in. I finally convinced Lauren to hold her own cup so that I could take pictures. Ben and Lauren were hesitant to feed the animals but Ben eventually warmed up.

This is as close to the animals as Lauren got.

Then we went on a hayrack ride. This was as happy as Lauren got.



After the hayrack ride I asked the kids to pose for a few pictures. Notice the forced smile in Lauren's face and the genuine happiness on Ben's face.




Then we went to pick out our pumpkins and Lauren finally just broke down. I didn't know why she was crying. I don't know if she was just upset that her hair didn't hold its curl or what. But, how could I know when she didn't know why she was crying. I tried to help her out and carry her pumpkin for her but that made her cry harder. Is there such a thing as toddler PMS? Ben happily picked out his pumpkin, and then carried it to the car like a big boy! This is the third time we have gone to the pumpkin patch and the third time I have left with a kid in full meltdown. It isn't always the same kid, which just adds to the excitement.

Pumpkin Patch Primping

I took Ben and Lauren to the local pumpkin patch this morning to ride the hayrack, feed the animals and pick out a pumpkin. Lauren was so excited that she wanted to curl her hair like mommy. It has been a long time since I last tried to curl her hair so I gave it another try. The last time I used the infamous pink squishy rollers you wear to bed. Those didn't work worth a hoot so I decided to try hot rollers this time.

I left them in for at least twenty minutes hoping that I wasn't burning her fine hair, but wanting the curl to hold. We took the rollers out, waited for the curls to cool, sprayed with hairspray, tied her bangs back with cute Halloween ribbons and sprayed with more hairspray.

Didn't her hair look cute?

This is the very same girl less than 45 minutes later! Poor Lauren has my stick straight hair. All I can hope for her is that spiral perms don't come back, especially when she is at her most vulnerable in junior high!

Life Lesson

In case you don't have time to read this entire post, just learn this:

NICE MOM + NICE DAD DOES NOT EQUAL NICE KID

I met a great mom from Jack's class. She was really nice, funny and cute! She works out of her home full time, so her kids were in daycare when they were little and they are in after school care now, but she is available to volunteer at school and attend the class parties. She travels with her job a lot leaving her husband to care for the kids. A friend (and neighbor) of mine and I set up a playdate for several of the Kindergarten boys. Her son invited a boy from his class and I invited the mother and child in question. They live in the neighborhood so I asked the mother if her and her son would like to join us for an outside playdate in the cul-de-sac. The mother said she was going to be out of town on that day. I foolishly offered to have his dad just drop him off to play. She jumped on the opportunity! When I told Jack that the little boy would be coming over to play he wasn't excited at all. I asked him if he was friends with the little boy and my sweet kid said he was friends with everyone in his class, he just wasn't one of his best friends. I explained how it was important to be nice to everyone and since he lives in the neighborhood it would be nice to invite him to play. Jack reluctantly agreed. I couldn't figure out why he was hesitant to include him. The playdate was yesterday. My neighbor and I sat out in the cul-de-sac with Jack, her son and her son's friend that she brought home from school. The boys were getting along great. Then the other boy and his dad rode up on their bikes. The dad was really, really nice. Much more friendly than the average guy would be when they drop their kid off with a couple moms he doesn't know. Dad mentioned that he had to take the older kids to karate so he would be back to pick up his son around 5:15. As soon as the dad rode out of site the kid's head starting spinning around. He wasn't sharing, he wasn't following rules, he was pouting when he didn't get his way, he was tattling and being disrespectful. His crowning moment was when Lauren was standing on the sidewalk and he rode his bike right at her yelling "get out of the way, here comes a bike!" Lauren stepped out of the way, but apparently it wasn't enough for him because he swerved his bike and purposely hit Lauren with his bike! My friend and I were looking at our watches every 5 minutes hoping the clock would strike 5:15. I was figuring out why Jack didn't really care for this kid. He was a BRAT! Dad didn't arrive until 5:17. Those 2 minutes that he was late seemed like an eternity! My girlfriend and I breathed a giant sigh of relief as the kid and his dad rode away. A few minutes later the other child’s mother picked him up. We were so tense after we got rid of the extra kids that we had to share a bottle of wine! Let this be a lesson to all of you younger mothers, DO NOT INVITE A NICE MOTHER'S CHILD TO YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT SEEING THE KID IN ACTION FIRST. And, for you older mothers that didn't teach me this lesson and forced me to learn it the hard way; SHAME ON YOU!

Ultimate Fighter

Jack: Mom, I look like I was in a fight with the grand wrestling champion!


Jack had a major wreck on his bike this afternoon. Luckily, I was chatting with a neighbor when the accident happened. My neighbor saw it all unfold and said it was an awful wreck. He scraped his chin, nose, wrist and knee. He only cried for a couple of minutes. I asked him if he wanted to go home and regroup. He sucked it up and told me he wanted to play. I was really proud of how he pulled it together!

Hot Blooded!

Me: It is another chilly night pick some warm pjs!
Jack: When I wear my warm jammies and get into my covers I feel like I just jumped into a pot of hot cocoa!
Me: You are getting too warm?
Jack: It is worser than that! I feel like I am in a hot pot of cocoa that just came out of the microwave!

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

I don't think this is what Big and Rich had in mind when they were singing, "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy", but the song is stuck in my head after taking these pictures.


Isn't it great when your kids play well together? Today, all of the stars have aligned making Ben and Lauren the best of friends. I love being a mom when they act like this!

Boys Don't Make Passes At Girls With Fat Asses

I got glasses when I was 18 months old. The first time I heard someone say "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses", my dad told me that wasn't right. He told me the way you say it is "boys don't make passes at girls with fat asses". I was reminded of this phrase today when Lauren failed her vision test at her 3-year-old check-up. Her pediatrician said that she failed really bad in her left eye and also failed in her right eye. The doctor tried to soften the blow by telling me that the eye-testing machine can have false positives. I am not buying into that. He told me that the ear-testing machine had false positives when Jack failed his hearing test two years ago. Now Jack has tubes and is hearing just fine! I think the average mother would be more concerned about this than I am. She is a beautiful little girl and will look really cute in her new spectacles. Plus, we will be able to get our glasses together come January (since my neurologist referred me to an ophthalmologist at my last appointment). I called the only Pediatric Ophthalmologist in the area and he can't get her in until December. I figure since we won't have a vision plan until January we might as well wait a couple more weeks. What's a couple of weeks when you are already waiting 2 months? In other news she only weights 28 pounds (15th percentile), so I guess we don't have to worry about the fat ass thing.

See Ya Later Alligator!

I was outside today taking pictures of my little bikers.

And, I couldn't resist the opportunity to be punny! Ben didn't want to try Jack's old big boy bike. He was perfectly happy letting Lauren use it. He was much happier on his 'Diego bike' drinking his Gatorade. Ben still calls Gatorade alligator, I don't correct him because it is so darn cute!

See ya later alligator!

Training Wheels

We took another family bike ride yesterday. Since it was Saturday we had lots of time to explore the bike paths in our area. We had a great time. The weather was beautiful and the company was great! Jack is still riding the neighbor's 18" bike (without training wheels) and Travis pulls Ben and Lauren in the Burley Bee. Jack got whacked in the face with a tree branch and the tree pollen powdered his little allergy prone nose.

Jack: My nose is itchy!
Travis: Wipe it off.
Jack: I can't!
Travis: Why not?
Jack: I can't let go of my handlebars!
Travis: Yes you can, leave one hand on the handle and wipe your nose with the other hand, see watch me
Jack: Yeah, but you have training wheels! (referring to the trailer that Ben and Lauren ride in)

Mid-Life?

Several months back a good friend of mine lost her mother to cancer then a month or so later lost her father too. Just last week another friend of mine lost his dad and our attorney passed away. Our attorney was just a couple of years older than us; he had boy/girl twins that were around Jack's age. Another good friend is turning forty next weekend! Is it time for me to be having my mid-life crisis? I don't feel old. But this stuff doesn't happen to young people! I just described another kindergarten mom as really young because she is in her late twenties. I am becoming that old lady! My friend Jeff and I went to pick up Jack from school a couple weeks back and I told random kids that were messing around to be careful. What am I 90? Jeff even made the comment that I USED to be fun! I used to be young and hip, then all the sudden my friends parents started dying, people "my age" were dropping dead, and twenty something’s are "real young"...not to mention all of the sagging...what is happening to me?

Benny Love

Me: Give mommy goodnight kisses!
Ben: smooch, smooch, smooch
...rubbing noses...
Ben: We are doing nose kisses.
Me: They are Eskimo kisses.
Ben: Now, TONGUE kisses!
Me: Yuck no!

I didn't think it was the time to tell him those were called French kisses!

After we do our kisses no matter what day of the week it is Ben tells me "See you on Sunday, I love you Mommy!" It is so darn cute, he is so charming!

Go Wildcats!

Jack had an assembly at school today. Did you have assemblies in elementary school? I didn't have them until I was in high school. They encourage the parents to attend, so Ben, Lauren and I went. I am continually surprised at how many parents attend when they "encourage" us to come. There were over 300 kids at the K-2 assembly and there were only about 15 parents. Wow. We got there about 10 minutes early assuming it would be a mad house...I guess I was the fool! I guess the other parents will see the photos I took for the yearbook. That's right, I am the class photographer. Luckily it doesn't require any special skill! Speaking of yearbooks, I didn't have a yearbook until Junior High. How about you? The principal gave student of the month awards. The little girl that won didn't seem like she was a better kid than Jack. I found myself wondering why she won rather than Jack. When her mother crossed the street in front of my car after the assembly it crossed my mind to run her over like a Texas cheerleading mom! I guess there is always next month!

Walkiversary

Two years ago today Lauren took her first steps. No, I don't normally remember those kinds of dates. Who do you think I am, super mom? I think not! The reason I remember is today is my nephew's 2nd birthday. Lauren's first steps were over shadowed by Drew's birth! But, she can take solace in the fact that I will never forget the day she learned to walk. I can tell you Jack was about 15 months old when he walked and Ben was around 18 months old. See Lauren, it was a blessing is disguise. Happy birthday Droopy, we love you!