Picture Me

Lisa at Life With Our Little Ladies tagged me for this photo Meme. It is a nice change of pace from 7 random things, so here we go!

1. Age at next birthday.



2. Place I would like to travel.



3. Favorite place.



4. Favorite food.



5. Favorite animal.



6. Favorite color.



7. Town I was born.



8. Name of past pet.



9. Name of past love. ('Brent' geese)



10. My first name.



11. Bad habit I have.



12. First job.



13. Grandmother's name.



14. College major.



This was kind of fun! I am now tagging I Don't Want A Title, Such Simple Pleasures and The Vasquez 3. Here are the rules: Type the answer to each question into a Google image search, and you pick an image from the first page of results.

How Can You Deny That Face?

Jack: Mom, I need help writing my Christmas list for Santa.
Me: Okay, I have some paper and a pen right here
Jack: Will you write it for me?
Me: Sure, what should I write?
Jack: Monster truck Power Wheels
Me: Okay, what else?
Jack: Wait a minute; I need you to tell Santa how many I want
Me: What?
Jack: I want two Power Wheels, one for me and one for the babies to share.
Me: Okay, I will put 2, and what else do you want.
Jack: Two toy talking snowmans
Me: What?
Jack: Don't worry they aren't real!
Me: Why do you want two?
Jack: Because I like them.
Me: Okay, what else?
Jack: Maybe Santa would like it better if I wrote it myself?
Me: I bet you are right!
Jack: How do you spell Power Wheels?
Me: P-O-W-E-R W-H-E-E-L-S
Jack: Oh shoot, I ran out of room, Santa will never know what I wrote, can I start over?
Me: Yep, here is a new piece of paper
Jack: How do you spell Power Wheels?
Me: P-O-W-E-R W-H-E-E-L-S
Jack: I am going to skip the snowmans since it is too much to write, how do you spell remote control car?
Me: R-E-M-O-T-E C-O-N-T-R-O-L C-A-R
Jack: Maybe you should make your Christmas list too?
Me: Good idea, what should I ask for?
Jack: How about one more Jack since you like me so much?
Me: (writing it down) Good idea!
Jack: But you better ask for a robot Jack because elves can't make another Jack, only God.

Is he the cutest kid or what? How can I not buy that damn Power Wheels after that? He worked so hard to write the list himself, he even thought of his brother and sister, then to throw the knock out punch added how much I love him and God into the conversation.

3, 4, 5 Meme

Several of my bloggy friends have been doing this Meme and since I am avoiding putting the lights on the tree I thought I would give it a try.

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it?

1. Produce: avocados (if they are in season)
2. Bakery: fresh tortillas
3. Meat: chicken
4. Frozen: Margarita mix
5. Dairy: Pepper jack cheese

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?

1. Jeans
2. flip-flops
3. t-shirt

If I was to listen in on your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. For the love
2. Stop whining
3. You're killing me
4. No hitting
5. I love you!

So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?

1. taking my Zoloft! :)
2. exercise
3. cuddling with the kids

We're talking a 3-hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. taking a bath with a glass of wine
2. napping
3. sewing
4. reading
5. blogging

We are going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. Elephants
2. Monkeys
3. Giraffes

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV. of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?

1. Oprah
2. Dr. Phil
3. Two And A Half Men
4. Good Morning America

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. Chocolate with Heath Bar
2. French Vanilla
3. Butter Pecan

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?

1. a full McDonald's milk
2. Goldfish crackers
3. pictures of the kids
4. credit cards, no cash
5. matchbox cars

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

1. doctor
2. mommy
3. photographer
4. bartender

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?

1. Don't quit swimming, it won't hurt you!
2. Those skinny cheerleaders are going to end up fat.
3. You are pretty.
4. If they don't like you for who you are they aren't worth your time!

Reading 101

Jack: What does your shirt say?
Me: It says "I'm from Nebraska"

This shirt is complements of my SIL and BIL, thanks guys! Don't worry mom, I am only wearing it to Pilates and I will promptly remove it when I get home!

I'm Back

I started writing a post on Thanksgiving Day about what I am thankful for, then my sister-in-law woke up and we starting chatting and the post didn't get finished. I am now kind of done with thinking about what I am thankful for. I was going to put something about how I am thankful for my husband, he is swell, but I don't really have time to put it into words right now. Here is the beginning of my Thanksgiving post:

1. I am incredibly thankful to the nice police officer that I accidentally passed on the way to the doctor yesterday.

Me: Shit!
Jack: What's wrong mom?
Me: Well, we are going to get a speeding ticket.
Jack: Why?
Me: We were going to fast.
Officer: Can I get your license and proof of insurance?
Me: (handing over my stuff) Hi, how's it going?
Officer: Good thank you. Do you know why you were stopped this afternoon?
Me: Yes, we were hurrying because we are late for a doctor appointment.
Officer: Do you know what the speed limit here is?
Me: 65
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Probably about 75
Officer: I clocked you going 87, that is too fast to be going with 3 little kids in the car.
Me: You are absolutely correct, sorry.
Officer: (handing back my stuff without running anything) Okay, well slow down and have a great weekend.
That's right, I didn't get a ticket for going 87 in a 65. So, here's to you officer, THANKS!

2. I am thankful for the way Jack can make me laugh everyday!

Jack: What is that inflatable in Mr. Paul's yard?
Me: (breaking into song) Tom, Tom Turkey, Tom, Tom, Turkey, Run Away, Run Away, Thanksgiving Day is coming...
Jack: (interrupting) Tom Turkey does not wear a hat and does not have a beard. That chicken is wearing a top hat and has a red beard!
Me: I don't think that is a beard; I think that is his gobbler.
Jack: What's a gobbler?
Me: I have no idea! You should ask daddy.

3. I am thankful to Travis' previous employer for transferring us to Texas. I love it here, I only wish my parents lived here too!

So anyway, I'm back. We had a great visit with Travis' sister and brother-in-law. It was really nice to hang out with them without the rest of the in-laws. Don't get me wrong, the other in-laws are fine, but I never feel like I can be myself. This was the first time we have actually hung out with them without the MIL or GIL (grandmother-in-law) and it was really fun! They left on Saturday morning and I have been frantically putting up Christmas decorations ever since. Today is the day the cleaning lady comes so I was hoping to have everything up so she could clean up all of the faux pine needles that always end up strewn about the house. Unfortunately, it didn't happen. I am done with everything but putting the lights on the big Christmas tree. At least it is just one room that I will need to re-vacuum!

I am concerned that I am permanently harming poor Lauren. She is going to end up being one of those hermits that live in a filthy hovel. For some reason she is afraid of all things clean. She hates the noise of the vacuum cleaner, but most of all she hates rushing and strange people. She doesn't know the cleaning ladies and they come into the house like a whirlwind; some go upstairs, some head to the kitchen while the remainder start in the bathroom. As soon as they arrive I have to load the kids up and leave so Lauren isn't set into a tailspin. Today when they arrived I was replacing a string of lights on our front stairs that had already gone out, so I quickly finished that project up before heading out. When I was ready to go I couldn't find Lauren. I looked everywhere; it was so strange because she is usually right under foot when the maid arrives. I finally found her curled up in the fetal position on her bed with her little fingers in her ears. Poor baby!

Thankful Me!

I have thankfully been tagged by my pal at Bun In The Oven to post another 7 random things. Thankful, you ask? Yes, you see my kids and I have been incredibly boring the last couple days leaving me with nothing to write about. I have actually sat down at my computer thinking that I have time to blog and can't think of a damn thing to write about! Travis' sister and brother-in-law are arriving today to spend a couple days with us, so I have been cleaning, damn the luck this is an off week for the cleaning lady. I have been formulating a post in my head about what I am thankful for this season, but I figured I would save that until tomorrow. So anyway, here's to you Anne, enjoy!

Seven Random Things!

1. I am a faithful Black Friday shopper! It all started when I was around 10 years old. I started going with my mom, we continued that tradition for nearly 20 years before Travis and I moved to Texas. We studied the ads before and after dinner on Thanksgiving Day to formulate our plan. We made lists of what time the stores opened and what we needed at each one. We would make a plan before we went into each store, "mom, you get in line and I will grab two widgets and be back in a flash!" We would have so much fun laughing at the other shoppers and my sister. We used to drag my sister with us even though she complained the whole time. It really just added to the experience. This will be my third year of shopping alone, unless I can talk my sister in law into coming with me this time! It isn't as fun when you don't have a partner, but I don't let that stop me. I usually try to make friends with other mother/daughter teams, last year I was adopted by a lady who reminded me of my mom! Which reminds me of a lady I met in line while shopping with my mom in Nebraska. I had my list written on my husband's company stationary. I was checking my list when the woman I had been chatting with in line in front of me said, "Did you steal that stationary from work?” I laughed and said "No, my husband did". We went on to figure out that her husband worked with my husband. I was sure to remember her husband's name so I could ask Travis about him. When I got home I told Travis about meeting Chuck's wife in line. The color drained out of his face as he stuttered, "What did you say? He is my boss!" Luckily, I made a good impression and my new line friend told her husband how nice I was! Can you believe how the stores open earlier and earlier each year? Twenty years ago the stores opened at 6am, this year many are opening at 4am and I am actually hitting a sale at the Tommy outlet that starts at midnight Thanksgiving Day!

2. I would pay good money to send Ben and Lauren away to some sort of potty training boarding school. They have them for puppies and they come back house broken, is there a place to send babies? Lauren is going to start wearing pull-ups and panties as soon as my in-laws leave. My goal is to have her potty trained by Christmas. Wish me luck!

3. I saw a family on TV with 9 biological children between the ages of 4 months and 11 years. Something inside of me was insanely jealous. I would love to have a huge family, the only problems are that I hate being pregnant, I don't really enjoy babies until they sleep through the night, my boob job and laser hair removal would be ruined and most importantly, my husband is done. Lisa, I took the test and it was negative...darn.

4. I have a horrible singing voice, but that doesn't stop me from making up new words to songs about what is going on during our day. I just had to stop writing to change Lauren which called for a quick verse of "The poopy chic, the poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, the poopy chic." to the tune of Hippy Chic. I sing "You Are My Jackson" to the tune of You Are My Sunshine and "There was a mommy, had a boy and Benny was his namo, B-E-N-N-Y..." to the tune of Bingo. My kids enjoy it for now, but I am sure it is only a matter of time before they start to notice I can't sing!

5. I can eat more than my husband and most men for that matter! I love food; it takes a lot of self-control to not eat myself into gluttony at every meal. However, I will be letting it all hang out and gorging myself tomorrow and Friday...after all it is Thanksgiving! Stuffing, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie, oh my! In my younger days I would go to Spaghetti Works, an all you can eat spaghetti place in Nebraska, with several of my male friends and win eating contests!

6. I got first place in my 7th grade science fair for making wine! I think the samples I gave to the judges and my teachers helped get me the win! My dad and grandpa made wine as I was growing up...some good and some bad! They helped me study the chemistry behind fermentation.

7. I hate raisins. They are so disgusting. You don't eat rotten apples or watermelon, why eat rotten dried out grapes? Yuck, what a waste of grapes!

It Didn't Even Take A Free Sign!

When I was growing up we had a great way to get rid of anything from a broken TV to an old refrigerator. We would just take it to our lake house that is in a small rural Nebraska lake community. We would hand make a free sign from old cardboard and a big black marker. If it were something really good we would add a tag line that would say something like "It works!" or "Great beer fridge". We were really lucky if we happened to have a free sign available from our last give away, we could skip the sign-making step. Then we just piled our junk on the side of the road and prominently display the free sign. We often took bets on how long it would take for the treasure to disappear. I really can't remember putting something out one weekend and having it still be there by the next weekend when we returned.

Yesterday we bought a new dining room set, so we had to figure out how to dispose of our old circa 1970 one. Our old dining room set was a hand me down from one of my parent's friends. They had used it for a solid 25 years before deciding they needed to replace it. At the time we had nothing in our dining room so we jumped on the free stuff as though we were still in college. Now, at least 5 years later it is time for us to move on. We had a "special pick-up" scheduled for the garbage man to pick up our old grill so we decided to put the old ghetto dining room set next to it and cross our fingers. Today is garbage day so Travis and I carefully piled everything by the street last night. When Travis left for work this morning the dining room set was gone! It didn't even take a free sign. We live in a nice upper-middle class suburban area, not the kind of place you would troll if you were looking for "free stuff". So, who took it? Was it our neighbor that saw us putting it out? Was it the guy in the white pick-up that we have seen driving slow through the neighborhood at night? Was it the Junk Brothers? That would really piss me off if they put that shit back in my yard! And, what is wrong with the grill? Why didn't they take that? The grill is only 4 or 5 years old, practically new compared to the dining room set!

I Think I Have Been Drugged

I don't know if someone slipped some GHB, you know the date rape drug, in my margarita at the restaurant last night or if I accidentally swallowed an Aqua dot. I am so tired! I fell asleep on the couch well before 9 o'clock last night. When I finally gave up and went to bed, I sat down on the bed to put my pajamas on and fell asleep before I even got undressed! Today I went to get my nails done and the sleep monster had me in a headlock. I actually fell asleep as the nail tech was doing my nails. She and the rest of her Vietnamese friends sure had themselves a good laugh when she nicked me with her Dremel tool and I jumped a mile! I always wonder if they are talking about me when they are speaking amongst themselves in their native tongue, but I am sure they were talking about me today! Maybe it is my sorry attempt at keeping up with two 2-year-olds or maybe it is this cough that I have had for the last 4 weeks. I don't know what it is; all I know is that my normal 9 hours of sleep a night is not cutting it!

BFFs

Jack: How many kids are in our family?
Me: 3
Jack: How many mommies are in our family?
Me: 1
Jack: How many daddies are in our family?
Me: 1
Jack: How many Ms. Annes are in our family?
Me: 1
Jack: How many Ms. Trishas are in our family?
Me: 1

Kids are really better at putting their feelings into words than adults. Anne, Trisha and their families have really become our extended family since we have moved to Texas. Our families mesh perfectly, the husbands get along great and are actually friends outside of our "couple friendship" and the kids love to play together. Whenever we go somewhere Jack wants to know if Derek and Lily are coming, most of the time they are; but he is so disappointed if they aren't. At least twice a week he comes to me and says, "I have a great idea, let's invite our friends over for dinner!" I really feel lucky to have such wonderful friends!

Bear With Me

Jack: Why do you call it bear feet when you aren't wearing shoes?
Me: Well, bare feet are b-a-r-e, which is a different word than b-e-a-r. Bare means naked.
Jack: I bet they call it bear feet because bear's don't wear shoes.
Me: The words sound the same, but they are not the same words
Jack: What?
Me: uff da
Jack: No, bears say grrr
Me: Never mind

Mixer Mix Up

So yesterday I made refrigerator-mashed potatoes for MOPS this morning. You mash the potatoes with cream cheese and sour cream the day before, and then bake them right before you are ready to serve them. I burned out my old stand mixer about 6 months ago making sugar cookies, so I splurged for the Kitchen Aid when I replaced it. It was so strange, the mixing paddle kept hitting the side of the bowl making a horrible clanking noise, some times it would clank so hard that it would actually knock the bowl out of the locking bottom. It would jam and stop mixing all together. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. To get it to limp along I had to pull the paddle out of the potatoes and reattach the bowl. It was horribly annoying, but I had to mash the potatoes, so I kept limping it along. I even called my friend Anne who has a similar mixer and asked if she has had this problem, with no luck. I vowed to send it back to Kitchen Aid as soon as I finished mashing the potatoes. On the second batch it mysteriously stopped doing it. I meant to have Travis look at it last night, but I forgot. I didn't give it another thought until this morning when I was standing in the buffet line behind a woman as she dug into my potatoes and found the metal cap piece to my mixer in the potatoes. I didn't admit that it was my dish. I took the cap from the woman saying, "My that is strange, I wonder who brought the potatoes, I will go wash it off and see if anyone is missing it". But what I was thinking was Ah Ha, that's what was making all of the clanking. How embarrassing! I am so glad my mixer is okay!

Love Notes

Dear Husband,

The next time one of our evil spawn start fussing in the middle of the night listen to me when I say, "he is just fussing, he will settle down in a minute". Please don't guilt me into bringing him to bed with us. And, if you are some how able to convince me to do this again, I call the head you can have the feet.

Sincerely,
Your loving wife


Dear Ben,

Oh Benny, Benny, Benny, I do love you so, but not at 3am. The next time you start screaming in the middle of the night there best be some blood involved. If I wanted my back massaged by little feet I would have a little Chinese woman walk on my back, no need to kick the shit out of me. I know you are a happy boy, but please reserve your singing for when the sun is up. If I ever eat too many retard sandwiches again and invite you into my bed please keep the following rules in mind: 1. No kicking mommy, 2. No singing, 3. No snoring, 4. Bring your own pillow, mine is not big enough for the two of us, 5. You are a small boy, you only get a small portion of the bed, you must lay parallel to mommy and daddy, 6. Same for covers, they do not need to be wrapped around you, we have a king sized quilt on a queen sized bed, there should be enough for everyone. My bed, my rules, if you don't like it stay in your own bed!

Love,
Your tired mommy

Feast Or Famine?

Me: You and your class sure looked cute in your pilgrim costumes at the Thanksgiving feast!
Jack: We were Indians, duh.
Me: Okay...

I hate to even think about what we pay for preschool and my son was fed the crappiest "feast" I have ever seen. Feast or famine, you be the judge:
one slice turkey lunchmeat
one slice white bread (thanks a lot, until this point my kid didn't know bread came in "white")
three cheese cubes
fruit cocktail
green beans
one dry sugar cookie
one Dixie cup of watered down lemonade
I wanted to take a picture of their meal, but I was afraid my camera might be confiscated! How can they serve this crap in good conscience?

The story of Thanksgiving according to Jack:
"The pilgrims set the table and the Indians brought the food"

Dragon Tales Beef

Have you ever seen Dragon Tales on PBS? I was forced to watch it with Ben and Lauren today because the carpet was wet in the game room, so they were stuck hanging out with me in the family room. I have a real problem with this show. I am going to seem like one of those annoying people who ruin the movie by saying "that can't happen in real life". But this program is supposed to be educational, right? Conjoined twins occur when the egg of identical twins does not fully split, thus leaving the babies connected. Boy/girl twins cannot be identical because they do not have the same parts boy/girl twins are always fraternal. To be identical twins they must come from the same egg, thus always being the same sex. Are you with me so far? If you are, you will be just as bothered by the boy/girl conjoined twin dragons named Cassie and Zak. This program is just perpetuating the ignorance of the morons who stop me in Walmart to ask me if Ben and Lauren are identical.

Cinderella, Cinderella

Jack: You woke me up with all of that cleaning.
Me: Sorry, I won't do that again!
Jack: What are you doing anyway?
Me: I am cleaning the carpets in Ben and Lauren's room.
Jack: Will you clean the carpets in my room too?
Me: Yes, would you like me to clean the carpets in the game room too?
Jack: Why don't you clean the carpets in the whole house while you are at it?
Me: I will try to do everything today, but I might have to finish up tomorrow.
Jack: Why can't you do it all today? What else do you have to do?

Ooops, I Did It Again!

I quoted my mother word for word again! This morning Jack was a sack hound (I think my grandpa coined this term) and didn't get up until I went into his room at 8:30. He was just lying in this bed with his eyes open. I asked him if he slept well, no answer. I asked him if he wanted to get up, no answer. I asked him if he wanted to get ready for school, no answer. I asked him if something was bothering him, no answer. I asked him if he was feeling okay, still no answer. I picked him up out of bed and he told me that he wasn't feeling well and wanted to stay home with me today. I got out the rectal thermometer expecting him to say he was suddenly feeling better. He let me stick the thermometer up his ass so I thought maybe he was sick. 98.7, that isn't sick. I told him that we wouldn’t be staying home because I had errands to run. I told him that if he was sick he didn't need to go to school, he could tag along with us. I then realized why he wanted to stay home.

Jack: Before we run our errands, can I go upstairs and watch cartoons because I am sick?
Me: (get ready, here comes my mom's quote) Oh, I am sorry honey. When you stay home sick from school you can either lie in your bed or you can lay on the couch down here and watch the news with me.
Jack: Oh...
Me: Do you still want to stay home from school?
Jack: No, I feel better.

This little charade did not leave us much time to get ready for school. School starts at 9am, it was 8:50 and we were all still in our pajamas. We got ready in record time and I got him dropped off within the drop off range of 9 – 9:15. Not bad!

It Is Raining Awards

If blogging awards were dollars, I would have $2 now. Okay, I guess that isn't too impressive so keep the awards coming. Thanks for the award The Vasquez 3, I really enjoy your blog too!

Now, I will pass this award on to I Don't Want A Title. Congrats!

Random Meme

Okay, here are the much-awaited 7 random things!

1. I welcome the early Christmas decorations, music and shopping. I love this time of year and if I can draw it out, sign me up! I have already started my shopping and plan to be finished by the day after Thanksgiving!

2. After watching Oprah last week, I have a secret crush on Donny Osmond. He and his brothers sang and did a little synchronized dance it was so cute! It made me want to have a whole bunch of kids and teach them to sing and dance. As I mentioned in my last 7 random things, I wouldn't be able to teach them since I have no rhythm, but I could get them lessons! The Osmonds had 9 kids, those 9 children had 55 kids and those 55 kids have already produced 48 kids. Wow a big family would sure be fun! Those Mormons have all the fun!!

3. I love to sew. I spent most of my day and a good portion of the weekend sewing. It is very therapeutic for me. I was sewing when Jack went to bed last night and again before he got up this morning. He couldn't believe it when he found me in the same spot that he left me. He was certain that I had sewed all night! I made a bunch of hooded towels to donate to the MOPS silent auction and I am making 36" Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy dolls for Ben and Lauren for Christmas. They have been watching me make them and take off with the incomplete dolls screeching "I got it, big baby, I got it, big baby" with glee, at every chance they get. I think they are going to love them!

4. I wish my parents would move here. I miss them terribly! Before Travis and I moved we would hang out with them several times a month, we both really enjoy their company. I hate that they are missing out on these early years with my kids. My sister lives an hour away from me and my nephew just turned one. My parents are dragging their feet on retiring and getting down here. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking!

5. In 1987 I won a drawing to be the bat girl for one of the teams in the College World Series. I was matched up with Florida State; unfortunately they were eliminated in a mere two games. My claim to fame!

6. My favorite vacation spot is Key West, FL. My husband and I love to travel, we try to get away at least once a year (it was more frequent before we had kids). Key West is a great town with lots of fun water sports and cool bars. It is so laid back and relaxed that even Travis loosens up!

7. I need 9 hours of sleep per night to be a happy mommy. I turn into a pumpkin (as my husband calls it) at 10pm and I get up at 7am. Don't ask me how I made it through the first three months of my children's lives, it is all a blur! It is after my bedtime, gotta go!

I am supposed to tag 7 other people. I have recently done this and tagged just about everyone I know, so I won't tag anyone, but if you want to do a meme, go for it!

Not A Stick?

Me: Jack, what are you doing?
Jack: Changing my underwear.
Me: Why?
Jack: I got some poop in them.
Me: What?
Jack: Not a stick, just a smudge!
Me: A skid mark?
Jack: Yeah, a skid mark.
Me: Where did you put your dirty underwear?
Jack: In my hamper of course!

No wonder my laundry stinks! I am glad that he takes care of these 'issues' on his own, but it is no treat finding that little treasure when I am doing laundry!

Operation Crying Crackdown

Ben and Lauren are in the throws of the terrible twos! They cry all the time. If they get hurt, they cry. If they don't get their way, they cry. If they don't like their dinner, they cry. If you don't pick them up, they cry. If they don't like their outfit, they cry. If you change their diaper, they cry. If you don't change their diaper, they cry. If the wind blows, they cry. If their nose runs, they cry. You get the picture. We are done with the crying! I am so tired of the crying I am going to cry! It seems like Ben is always crying in his dinner by the time Travis gets home from work. Obviously that is not the greeting Travis is looking for! I think I was much more vigilant with Jack, but I am just so tired that I let it go too often. If Dr Phil asked me "How's that working for you?” I am afraid would have to say "It's not!". So, I am prepared to rock their world! No more crying. They speak well enough to use their words rather than cry. Today is the first day of operation crying crackdown. If they cry, they will be given one warning to stop and use their words, if they continue to cry they are going to the stairs until they can calm down. Ben and Lauren have spent a good portion of their morning on the stairs, good thing we have two staircases!

Picture This....

So I knew school pictures were this week, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what day. I was pretty sure they weren't on Tuesday, but I dressed Jack nicely and took extra care with his hair just in case they were. On Wednesday I was sure they must have pictures so I got Jack all dressed up again, broke out the belt, pressed his pants and shirt and put extra gel in the hair. When I picked Jack up from school his teacher mentioned how great he has looked all week and told him to be sure to dress up for pictures tomorrow. Damn! Last night I had to put his khakis in the washing machine before I went out so he would be ready to dress up again. The pictures are officially today and I am burnt out on pressing clothes and gluing hair. If he doesn't smile nice for these pictures he will be sorry!

Got Twins?

When I was pregnant with Ben and Lauren I went to a couple meetings of the metro area twins club. I was new in town and looking to meet similar minded people. The first meeting I went to everyone introduced themselves by saying their name and the names of their twins, they didn't mention the names of any 'singletons' if they had them, which I found very odd. It seemed as though their entire identity was their twins. I will never forget the crazed woman who stood up and proudly announced her identical twin girls were named Savannah and Hannah. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry for those poor girls! As time went on I realized that most of the women I met were obsessed with the fact that they had twins and nothing else seemed to matter. They actually had T-shirts made that said 'Got Twins?’ a play off the 'Got Milk?' campaign. Are my bones going to deteriorate if I don't have twins? What happens if I don't have a twin mustache? I only had Jack at the time and I had trouble (and still do) understanding how their singletons were second-class citizens. They got together and commiserated about the problems their twins had. I would come home from the meetings and tell Travis about the squirrels I was meeting but it wasn't until I came home in tears that he told me I couldn't go back. It seemed like the women who were members of the club went for support because their premature kids had a bunch of problems. Night after night I would hear about feeding tubes, learning problems and physical disabilities. The unknown was killing me and I decided that I wouldn't return until the babies were born and then would only return if I 'needed' support. I found when Ben and Lauren were born that I needed support, but it wasn't anything that my lowly friends with singletons couldn't give me, so I never went back.

Now, however I am wishing I could reach out to someone with twins and ask a question or two. Perhaps one of my bloggy friends knows someone with twins and can answer my question? Ben and Lauren are 27 months old and share a room. We have always known that we would put them in separate rooms when they "got older" because they are not the same gender, but when is the proper time. This morning while I was trying to steal a few more minutes of precious sleep I heard Ben yell "Hi Lolo!” From what I have gathered that is loosely translated from English to twin speak as; Hey, Lauren it looks like mom cleaned this room again yesterday, we need to wake up and put it back to the way we like it. You clean the books off the shelf and I will throw all of the hangers on the floor of the closet. When we are done with that let's get back together and pile all of the toys in the middle of the room. If mom doesn't get her ass out of bed by then let's work on dumping the toy baskets out and pulling the clothes out of our drawers. Jack never trashed his room like that. He would sit in his bed and cry waiting for his mommy in shining armor to come to the rescue. Do Ben and Lauren trash the place because they have someone to do it with or do they do it just because they are different kids? Would this problem be solved if we put them in their own rooms or would I just have two trashed rooms then? Would Lauren get to sleep longer because Ben couldn't wake her up and vice versa? When is the perfect time to separate? Anyone, anyone...Bueller?

Puppy Love

Some kids have "Loveys"; some have "Memes" and still others have "Blankies"; my kids have "Puppies". When Jack was a baby he became attached to a little stuffed puppy, which he appropriately calls "puppy". Last year Jack made the observation that the babies didn't have anything to sleep with so I took him to the store so he could pick out animals for Ben and Lauren to give them for Christmas. He chose a leopard for Lauren and a lion for Ben; they have taken to them like flies to shit! The funny part is they call their animals "puppy" too since that is what Jack calls his animal. It really is quite cute, but very quirky!

Am I A Democrat?

I have always thought I was a republican, I was raised by a small business owner and married one of the most conservative men I know. This morning on Good Morning America they had a segment on Meet Your Match on the presidential canidates. I took the quiz and my top three matches were democrats. At least is wasn't Hillary! I can't vote for someone that doesn't even have enough self respect to stand up to her husband. Who am I?

Recalled?

No, I am not referring to another lead laced toy! I have been coughing all night for the last two weeks. I started off taking the generic cough medicine from Walmart, Equate. I don't really care if it is name brand for me so I decided to save the money. When that didn't work Travis was convinced that it was because I cheaped out, so he went out and bought me two different formulas of Robitussin. Neither one worked. Last night Travis was threatening me with divorce if I didn't see the doctor today. I took the Robitussin and was sucking on a Halls, nothing worked. I couldn't breath; I finally had to sit up in the chair to stop coughing. So I went to the doctor this morning, coughed up my co-pay (hehe, I am so punny!) and left with a prescription for some cough medicine with Codeine. Upon arriving at Walgreen’s the pharmacist informed me that the FDA has recalled the drug my doctor had prescribed me. What? Is it too much to ask that the doctor be current on the recalled drugs? The kids used to see this doctor, but I switched them to a pediatrician about a year ago after an appointment that wasn't as through as I thought it should be. The doctor is a really nice guy, but now I am starting to wonder if Travis and I are receiving the best care available. Am I over reacting?

This Is For You Mom!

Jack took some pictures of my new do this morning. Forgive the composition, after all he is only 4 years old! I only wish I had the frowning before pictures to post for you also!

The best thing about this haircut is all I did this morning is blow dry which took about 2 minutes compared to the 10-15 it used to take.

I Am A Winner!

That's right, Karen has awarded me the friendly blogger award! Thanks Karen, you rule! Now time to pass it on...drum roll please...and the award goes to Life With Our Little Ladies!

I Liked You Just The Way You Were!

I was watching Oprah yesterday and Hillary Swank was on cutting 8 inches off her hair to donate to Beautiful Lengths. The hair is used to make wigs for women who have lost their hair due to cancer treatment. I had a hair cut scheduled for this afternoon and I had been thinking that I wanted to do something different. The show was just what I needed to motivate me to cut my hair short! I am going to be sending my hair off on Monday! I have a cute little angled bob after cutting off about 9 inches. It took Travis a while to say he liked it and Jack told me "I liked you just the way you were". I guess it is just going to take the men in my life a little time to adjust!

Say Chi Mama!

What a sweet girl and already concerned about my energy! She is however driving poor Jack crazy playing with his camera.

Lighten Up!

If I bummed you out with my last post allow me to make you laugh. I am just as guilty as the next guy, I laugh at other people's misfortune, so don't feel guilty enjoy yourself.

I took the kids to have their picture taken in their Husker clothes yesterday. Ben and Jack have jerseys and Lauren has a cute little cheerleading outfit. They really look adorable if I do say so myself! The kids were in a great mood. Up until the moment the photographer asked them to sit still they were smiling and laughing. Then he posed the kids and all hell broke loose. Ben cried and cried, and then he would get up and run away, laughing sinisterly as he ran. If Ben was sitting still he was crying and Lauren was running away. In the 30 minute sitting the photographer got one, count them ONE, picture that nobody was crying. Jack is staring into space; he was bored and didn't know the photographer was actually going to take the picture. Ben and Lauren were looking in opposite directions with a nasty looks on their faces. After finally giving up, while we were waiting for our crappy free 8x10, I ran to Victoria Secret to pick up a bra and the free panties that I had a coupon for. By this point Ben and Lauren were beating the hell out of each other and screaming at the top of their lungs. Jack was tossing the football, which we had taken for a prop, in the air dangerously close to the perfume. You know they don't do anything fast at that store; they wrap each pair of panties in an individual piece of tissue. Why couldn't the sales person see we were in the middle of a meltdown and just throw the shit in the bag and send our train wreck on it's way. After signing the credit card machine I turned around to see Jack rubbing his face in a rack of panties. I left the store as quickly as possible with my tail between my legs vowing to myself that I would never return. Coming to the realization that my Victoria Secret purchases would need to be online from this point forward. After we picked up our picture I realized that Jack was no longer holding his football, he had left it at Victoria Secret. I had to swallow my pride and go back to the store to retrieve the football. I can picture it now; one sales person saying to the other "here comes that deranged lady with the loud, violent twins and the sick kid with the panty fetish. I have recruited Trisha to come with us on Monday for round two, wish me luck!

Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries

Right now, it's the pits. I have been feeling really strong lately with the help of Pilate’s, but apparently that has been helping to cover up the most recent effects of my MS. I had a doctor's appointment on Halloween and I failed some very basic tests. The neurologist stabbed my foot with a safety pin (literally) starting at my toe. I could feel that he was touching me, but it didn't feel sharp until he got close to my ankle. I am also having a problem with clonus, which means the doctor can make my foot twitch like an epileptic. Based on the neurologist's assessment the Copaxone injections I have been doing daily are not working as well as they need to. The doctor feels that I am destine for disability on the current path. The good news is there is a new drug, Tysabri. Copaxone has been proven to reduce disability by 30% while Tysabri reduces disability by 90%. Seems like a no brainer (no pun intended), right? Wrong. The problem is that Tysabri is a new drug. It has only been around for two years. In the initial testing they had a group of people who took Tysabri, a group that took a placebo, a group that took Avonex and Tysabri and a group that took Avonex and a placebo. Of the 600 and some people in the study three of them developed PML, a horrible brain disease. Of the three people with PML, one died and one is a vegetable. However, the three people who got PML were in the group taking Avonex and Tysabri. So what did they learn? Don't mix Tysabri with other drugs. At this point there are over 23,000 people worldwide taking Tysabri as a monotherapy (a therapy that uses only one drug) and there have not been any other cases of PML. So, we have made the decision to change my medicine. I have stopped taking Copaxone for the last 2 days; I have another 28 days to be sure the drug is out of my system before I get my first IV. In the meantime I will be sorting things out with our health insurance company.


This has been a scary decision. I don't really want to live 40 years of my life being disabled; so taking the "calculated risk" of Tysabri is the way to go. But, then I start to feel selfish. What if I do end up with PML and die, who will take care of my kids? Or worse yet, I become a vegetable and want to die. For the record, if I ever become a vegetable PULL THE PLUG! That makes me feel really guilty that I am putting my fears above my children's well being. Which then starts me spiraling into a very unhealthy stream of conciseness that goes something like this: Who am I kidding? The kids will be fine without me. They have lots of people who love them. They don't need me. I am worthless. Nobody needs me. Nobody would notice if I were gone. I am wasting my time as a stay at home mom. I should just go eat worms!

I feel terrible that I have put Travis into this situation. I wasn't diagnosed with MS until after we were married. He didn't know what he was getting into when we got married. Now he is faced with going through this decision with me. He will be the one stuck being a single parent if something bad happens. But, at the same time if I become disabled it is his retirement dreams that are ruined. Since we started dating we have dreamed about retiring early and traveling and living it up as a reward for our hard work. Then the stream of conciseness starts again. If I die Travis would be better off. He would get my life insurance and could remarry someone who would be able to take care of the kids and live our dream with him. Am I that easily replaced? Would Travis feel relief? I love him so much that I want him to have the very best life and I am dragging him down.

I want to live a long and healthy life. I hate this self-destructive self-talk. I don't know how to turn that voice in my head off. I try to tell myself that God will not give me more than I can handle. Together Travis and I can get through anything. We have been through so much that there is no question in my mind that we can do this too. But, it seems like the destructive self is speaking louder than my inner cheerleader right now.

The kids know something is up. They notice that Travis and I quit talking when they enter a room. They notice me crying on my friends' shoulders. They try to over hear conversations I am having with my parents. I don't want them to worry. They can't know what is going on. At the same time, I need a little understanding from them. The stress of all of this is sending me into an episode.

There are a lot of positives that have and will come from this. I get the opportunity to take the most aggressive MS drug on the market. This drug has actually reversed the effects of MS in some people. It will buy us the time that we need. Through all of this I have been reminded about how great my friends and my husband are. I have such a strong support system. I feel so lucky! Travis and I have been through hard stuff and it has made us stronger. This will just make us stronger!

I Want Candy!

As you can see the kids made out pretty well yesterday! The city has a big Halloween party in the square and all of the shop owners pass out candy. There were more people than I care to deal with milling about waiting for their free dum dums and sweet tarts. We met Anne and Trisha down there, so that made it much more tolerable. Unfortunately, the kids were nominated by one of the judges to be in the costume contest. Jack really wanted to see if he won so we had to stay until the last dog was hung. The look on Jack's face when the judges called The Cat In The Hat, Thing One and Thing Two made it worth the wait. He was so proud to be one of the ten semi finalists!

After the square we came home and had pizza with our friends before hitting the neighbors up for candy. Before we could get out annoying neighbor called to ask for the devil costume. So, I did what any spineless mother would do and sent the devil horns and tail over with my son and his friend. I watched them as they crossed the street; unfortunately annoying neighbor caught sight of me and came across the street. We had three cars in front of our house, it was obvious that we had company; she just has no shame.

AN: So, did you just wear a black dress with this?
Me: Yep! (I wasn't going to go into detail on my dress again, why bother?)
AN: (to her daughter) I have some black dresses you can try on. (Side note: her daughter probably wears a size 4 and she wears at least a size 20)
AN: So, can annoying daughter trick or treat with you guys?
Me: Oh sorry, we already have plans, we are going over to the other neighborhood with our friends.

That takes a lot of nerve for her to ask me to take her kid with me. I think I have plenty of children to watch on my own! It would be different if she would be help, but she is a giant pain in the ass. She is scared of dogs and her own shadow; I can only imagine what she is like on Halloween!