Naughty or Nice?

Jack: What if Santa just leaves me coal for Christmas?
Me: Then I will have to ask you what naughty thing you did that I didn't know about.
Jack: Oh.
Me: Have you been naughty or nice?
Jack: Nice.
Ben: I have been really nice!
Me: Lauren, have you been naughty or nice?
Lauren: Naughty...Wait, I mean nice, NICE, I promise I have been NICE!
Jack: We might all be on the naughty list...
Me: Well, you could try really hard to be nice between now and Christmas and maybe Santa will forgive you for anything naughty you have done.
Ben: I have been nice ALL DAY and Santa hasn't given me anything...Santa is the naughty one!

Zhu Zhu, How Could You?

Have you heard of Zhu Zhu Pets? If not, you are only about a week behind me. A week or so ago my kids summoned me to the game room to see a commercial for Zhu Zhu Pets. I was berated with a chorus of "I want that!", "Me too!", "I am going to ask Santa!” etc. My first thought was fantastic, those look cheap! A Zhu Zhu Pet is a little battery powered hamster that runs through a little maze, has a car, a bed, clothes and a multitude of other accessories you can purchase, if you have enough money. I did a quick online search and found they were one of the 'hot' toys for this Christmas season. I decided to go out the next day to purchase the Zhu Zhu Pets and found an empty shelf where they should sit. I called my mom right away and let her know to be on the lookout for them. Since the first store I visited I have been to at least a dozen more and have called every Target in the metroplex. Not a single Zhu Zhu in town. I have made a point to go into every Walmart and Target I see as I am going about my daily business. Today I went into a Walmart and was told that they haven't ever had any of the hamsters in, only accessories. Are you kidding me? They are advertising the hell out of this little toy, working our kids into a frenzy and there aren't enough to go around. Perhaps they would be better off spending money on manufacturing rather than marketing! If I actually find them at Walmart I will have to hold them hostage until my mom can get to the store too because there is a limit of two. Two Zhu Zhu pets are as good as none to me. How do I choose which kid doesn't get one? I have drug Ben and Lauren in and out of store after store searching for the little rodents. After the umpteenth store Lauren told me "Don't worry mom, if you can't find Zhu Zhu Pets Santa will bring them for us!” Great. Just great. Who taught her this blind faith in Santa anyway? The good news is the pets are only eight bucks a piece, if I could find them. I apparently wasn't the only one who thought, "No problem, I have time, I will just order them online". Well, it isn't a problem if you are willing to pay FIVE times the MSRP. That's right, they aren't available on the normal discount/department store sites and they are between $40 and $50 a piece on amazon.com. Unbelievable.

Red Ribbon vs. Red Wine

Jack: Last week was red ribbon week.
Me: Yeah...
Jack: We learned that wine was a drug. Why so you drink drugs? It is bad for you!
Me: Well, it is okay if you are 21 and don't drink too much.
Jack: You aren't 21!
Me: You're right, I am older than 21, you have to be at least 21 to drink wine.
Jack: You said 21!
Me: I meant at least 21.
Jack: Okay, if you say so...why, do you drink and drive?
Me: I don't drink and drive!
Jack: You are drinking (we were in the car) right now!
Me: I am drinking soda!
Jack: It is dangerous to yourself and others to drink and drive!
Me: It is dangerous to drink alcohol and drive.
Jack: Oh, they should have been more specific!

Update...

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, it has been almost a month since my last confession...ummm, I mean, blog. I have been so busy lately that I have only had time to do a quick Facebook post. Still being busy I am going to give you the highlights from the last month.
•I caught Ben standing on the toilet peeing. The kid actually had the lid up and was standing with one foot on each side! And, to make matters worse, he was in MY master bathroom. There was pee everywhere, yuck! When I questioned him he simply said he was standing up, like a big boy. I have been told that he is brilliant because it would be virtually impossible for him to stand on the ground and pee up into the toilet. I am going to go ahead and encourage sitting from this point forward!
•As the room mother for Ben and Lauren’s preschool class I was at school for their Halloween party. It was a little tricky because, as I requested, Ben and Lauren sit at different tables. While I was at Ben’s table I was listening in on a conversation about what the kids were going to be for Halloween.
Little Girl: Me, my sister and my mom are going to dress up like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
Ben: I am going to be Scooby Doo, Lauren is going to be Daphne, my big brother is going to be Shaggy and my mom is going to be Velma.
Little Girl: Is your dad going to be Freddy?
Ben: No, my dad doesn’t like fun… (I could see the wheels in his little head turning, he must have been thinking, oh no, they aren’t going to think my dad is cool, I must recover)…but, he does like to ride zebras!

•I have been so proud of Jack’s reading. At the end of kindergarten he was a level 3 which was on the low side of average or the high side of below average. I prefer to think of it as the former. After the first two months of first grade he is now reading level 12 books! Level 12 books are the last books for first graders until they are considered gifted! Yes, that’s right my formerly below average kid is now almost gifted. I am most proud of the hard work he has put in. This morning when I came out of my bedroom I found Jack on the couch reading a book to his sister! Man, I love that kid!
•Lauren has been such a pleaser lately. She is becoming the child my mother promised a girl would be. She started out as a needy little thing, but lately she only wants to make me happy. She tries to do everything just like I do and says things like “big girls only cry if they get hurt, right mommy?”
•Lauren: Mommy, are you mad at me:
Me: No baby, I’m not mad!
Lauren: Then why do you have your angry eyes on?
Me: I don’t have angry eyes, what are you talking about?
Lauren: All those lines in between your eyes above your nose.
Me: I am just squinting…and I could probably use some Botox
Lauren: What’s Botox?
•Travis and I are leaving for Arizona Friday. We are going to visit a good friend and meet her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend is a former Marine and does base jumping. So, Travis and I are going to check sky diving off our bucket lists while we are there. I have already called going first. The way I see it is that if he goes first and plummets to the earth not only do I not get to go, but I am strapped with 3 kids all by myself!