The Green Eyed Monster

Here are two stories of envy that started last night with friend envy and ended this afternoon with penis envy.

To explain the whole friend thing I will have to give a little background. I feel like I am in junior high again, I even called my mommy for advice. There are three children in Jack's playgroup. It started with Ann's mother and I; we met at the preschool orientation. Jack and Ann really hit it off so we started getting together every week. Jack and Ann mentioned Elsie frequently so six months into our playgroup we invited Elsie and her mother to join our weekly playgroup. The kids got along great, besides the occasional bossy spell from Ann and the moms just as well, if not better. We decided it was time to get the husbands together and we all hoped that it would end up being a frequent occurrence. Unfortunately, only two of the husbands hit it off. Elsie's dad and Travis had a lot in common and really hit it off. Ann's dad on the other hand didn't put forth much if any effort. We started spending a lot of time with Elsie's family. We always have a great time. The kids love getting together and it is nice to have good couple friends. Elsie's mom and I have become really good friends. The problem is that we never told Ann's mom. We didn't lie, but we didn't tell the truth. What are we supposed to say, "we got together last weekend, but we didn't invite you guys because your husband is a dickhead"? So, we took the easy way out and didn't mention anything to Ann's mom. This all came to a head yesterday at playgroup. Elsie's mom and I were discussing vacation bible school. We neglected to ask Ann's mom if she would like to sign Ann up too. It wasn't malicious at all, strictly an oversight. However, this was the straw that broke the camel's back for Ann's mom. Unfortunately, she didn't say anything at the time, she waited until we all got home and sent this email (I cut and pasted this, the grammatical errors are not mine):

First I just wanted to see it was fun seeing everyone today at playgroup. I think the last time I was at your house was to deliver a meal after Elsie's sister was born. So, it had been too long.Finally, you guys can call me dumb, stupid, too sensitive or whatever but I have something I want to say, but maybe it will offer a little insight as to why I have pulled away over the past months. (if you have even noticed : ) I know you guys have become very close over the past year but some of the things you say when I am around can make me feel left out but that is life and I am okay with that. When you guys asked me about Vacation Bible School today and of course I hadn't signed Ann up, I was actually hurt that the two of you made sure your children were enrolled but didn't feel like asking me if I was planning to do it or what have you. I feel I have always made sure you guys know of activities I am planning to put Ann into so she can enjoy the time with Elsie and Jack (and so you guys have the option to do it too) and to find out the same wasn't given back - it was very hurtful. I know you don't have to always include Ann but something like that, I guess I would have expected one or both of you to ask.Whatever ----- I am moving on. If I let every situation where I am left out bother me too much, I would be bothered often. There just isn't time for that, right?

I hate dealing with emotions over email it never goes well. But, I sent an email back saying that I never meant to hurt her feelings, blah, blah, blah. Several emails went back and forth, but I still didn't have a good feeling about all of this being resolved. So, at preschool drop off today I waited around to see Ann's mom and talk about this in person. I didn't see Ann's mom until she was driving out of the parking lot. So, I did what any sane person would do. I chased her down. I followed her out of the parking lot, flagged her down and had her pull over in the Walgreen’s parking lot. We had a good 30-minute talk about everything and I feel good. By the end of our conversation we were talking like we used to, without the giant elephant in the room. I wish we would have talked about this along time ago!

After lunch this afternoon I was changing Ben and Lauren's diapers. I changed Lauren first, and then changed Ben as Lauren stood watching over us. Out of nowhere, Lauren bent down yanked on Ben's penis and exclaimed "yuck!” I am not sure if she didn't think it was attached or if she thought she would be doing him a favor by pulling it off. Poor Benny was very traumatized, he cried for several minutes while Lauren looked perplexed. This reminds me of when Jack was about three. He was in the bathtub and grabbed his sack and asked me what it was, as I was starting to explain what it was he pulled...hard! He cried and cried, then asked me to kiss it. I declined assuming that Jack would have to have years of therapy if I did!