"Welcome To Hell, May I Take Your Order?"

In the car on the way to dinner,
Jack: Where are we going mom?
Me: Diner
Jack: Why haven't you asked me where I want to go?
Me: Because I don't care where you want to go
Jack: Why not?
Me: Because it is Mother's Day, Mommy gets to pick
Jack: When is it going to be Kid's Day?
I was tempted to respond as my mother had to me many times before and say "Everyday is Kid's Day". But, back then when my mom said that to me I vowed to never say it to my own child.

All I wanted for my Mother's Day dinner was a good margarita and cheesecake for dessert. I decided on The Cheesecake Factory. We went at 5 o'clock assuming that the babies would behave better if we went early. I didn't account for the 55 - 70 minute wait. We didn't sit down until after 6:30. By this point, Ben and Lauren were already annoyed. We ended up with the waitress that was trying to track down a table full of people that ordered drinks then walked out. Great start! I was trying to enjoy myself so I didn't let it bug me. Ben and Lauren on the other hand weren't as forgiving. They refused to sit in their highchairs so I held Lauren and Travis held Ben. It is hard to decide what was the high point. When Lauren was climbing all over me exposing my bra to anyone who was interested. Or, when Ben spit bread on Travis and he actually uttered, "Fuck you Ben", I think it was meant to be under his breath, but I heard it across the table. Travis finally got Ben to sit between him and Jack in the booth. Poor Jack was a great sport; he ate his dinner without complaining as Ben smashed his face against the wall. Ben and Lauren took turns spilling milk, crying, throwing food, you name it. Needless to say I got my cheesecake to go.

In the car on the way home with crying in the background:
Me: Jack, thanks for being such a good boy at the restaurant
Jack: Your welcome
Me: You really made me proud
Jack: I think Lauren is freaking out
Me: News flash
Jack: What?
Me: Nevermind, why do you think she is so upset?
Jack: I think she is pooping or she is just freaking out for no good reason
Me: I fear it is the later
Jack: What?
Me: Nevermind...thanks for being a good boy

When we got home Jack told me that he would share HIS cheesecake with me. Excuse me, who told you that it was your cheesecake? The little hog ate all of the whipped cream and at least half of my Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. Next year I think I will just make my own margaritas and cheesecake!