Mommy Wins 'Most Popular'...Today

This morning I had to go to the grocery store to buy things for the appetizer I am taking to dinner. Unfortunately, the mower crapped out yesterday so Travis had to go to the auto parts store so he could try to fix it. We agreed that he would take Jack and I would take Ben and Lauren. When Travis told Jack about the adventure they were about to embark on Jack politely declined. I figured I would solve the problem by letting him "choose".
Me: Jack, would you rather go to the cool auto parts store with daddy in the Porsche or would you rather come with me in the station wagon to the grocery store.
Jack: I want to go with you!
Me: What? You don't want to go on a convertible ride?
Jack: No, I want to go with you
Me: It is going to take mommy a long time at the grocery store, are you sure you want to go with me?
Jack: Yep, I want to go with you
How did this happen? I didn't even tell Jack that we were going to the fancy high-end grocery store where he can push his own mini cart. Since when am I the most popular? Just when you think you know your kids they go and pull a fast one! My plan backfired and I ended up with all three kids at the grocery store.

When we got to the store I loaded Ben and Lauren into the giant cart with the steering wheels and Jack secured his own mini cart. We started on our way getting happy glances from all of the old people who were shopping early on Saturday morning. Things were going great, Jack was filling his cart with all of my selections, until I had to spend some time looking at the sun dried tomatoes. I wasn't exactly sure what I needed so I had to spend a lot of time looking at the labels. When I turned around Ben was climbing out of his little car. I explained in the nicest good mom tone that we would have to strap him into the baby seat if he didn't sit down like a big boy. Not only did he not sit down, he started pushing the cart into my ankles. I could feel the nasty looks from the woman in volleyball shorts and a cast on her ankle. I picked Ben up and strapped him in. He screamed like a banshee as snot ran down his face.
Jack: Can I drive the car now?
Me: What are we going to do with your cart?
Jack: I don't want to push the cart anymore.
Me: If you decide to drive the car you can't change your mind and push the cart again
Jack: What are we going to do with the cart?
Me: We are going to get rid of it
Jack: What are we going to do with the groceries that are in there?
Me: I am going to put them into my cart
Jack: I want to drive
Me: Okay, get in.
I pulled all of the groceries out of the mini cart as the woman in the hot pants looked on in disgust. I then turned around to help Jack into the car. When I turned back around to take care of the mini cart I saw the skinny wench in the hot pants stomping off with the cart as if I was going to abandon it right there. I couldn't believe it. I stood there and just watched her, until I couldn't take it anymore and said, "You have got to be kidding me!" I am not sure if she heard me or not. I don't know what crawled up this woman's ass, but she has obviously never been to the grocery store with a kid before, let alone three. And, I have news for her, she isn't fooling anyone, everyone knows she wasn't playing volleyball with a broken ankle. So, why was she wearing those shorts to the grocery store? What a skank!