The Maddition And The Four-Eyed Mommy

As Jack is bopping a 3 foot long balloon, that looks suspiciously like a giant condom, around the family room.

Jack: Don't touch my balloon mom!
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were playing.
Jack: We are playing, I am the maddition and you and Benny are the audience watching my show.
Jack: Are you watching?
Me: Yes, I'm watching.
Jack: Are you using those eyes in the back of your head?
Me: Yep
Jack: You are lying; I don't think you have eyes in the back of your head.
Me: Well, I do.
Jack: Why haven't I ever seen them?
Me: Because you aren't a mommy
Jack: Do all mommies have them?
Me: Only the best mommies have them.
Jack: That's why you have them, right?
Me: That's right!