Jack: Mom, do your shorts ever get crammed up your booty?
Me: Yes
Jack: Does it hurt?
Me: Yes
Jack: It hurts me too, these shorts get crammed up my booty all the time.
Note to self; put those shorts in Ben's drawer.
Jack: Mom, Benny just said his first word!
Me: Benny has been talking for months
Jack: No, he hasn't, he just said "hi", watch this, hi Benny
Ben: Hi, Jack?
Jack: See, he can talk!
Me: Okay buddy, Ben can talk...
Jack: Why does Elsie get to live at the fun house?
Me: What do you mean?
Jack: Elsie has a trampoline and a 4-wheeler our house is boring
Me: Isn't there anything fun about our house?
Jack: Nope
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