Lighten Up!

If I bummed you out with my last post allow me to make you laugh. I am just as guilty as the next guy, I laugh at other people's misfortune, so don't feel guilty enjoy yourself.

I took the kids to have their picture taken in their Husker clothes yesterday. Ben and Jack have jerseys and Lauren has a cute little cheerleading outfit. They really look adorable if I do say so myself! The kids were in a great mood. Up until the moment the photographer asked them to sit still they were smiling and laughing. Then he posed the kids and all hell broke loose. Ben cried and cried, and then he would get up and run away, laughing sinisterly as he ran. If Ben was sitting still he was crying and Lauren was running away. In the 30 minute sitting the photographer got one, count them ONE, picture that nobody was crying. Jack is staring into space; he was bored and didn't know the photographer was actually going to take the picture. Ben and Lauren were looking in opposite directions with a nasty looks on their faces. After finally giving up, while we were waiting for our crappy free 8x10, I ran to Victoria Secret to pick up a bra and the free panties that I had a coupon for. By this point Ben and Lauren were beating the hell out of each other and screaming at the top of their lungs. Jack was tossing the football, which we had taken for a prop, in the air dangerously close to the perfume. You know they don't do anything fast at that store; they wrap each pair of panties in an individual piece of tissue. Why couldn't the sales person see we were in the middle of a meltdown and just throw the shit in the bag and send our train wreck on it's way. After signing the credit card machine I turned around to see Jack rubbing his face in a rack of panties. I left the store as quickly as possible with my tail between my legs vowing to myself that I would never return. Coming to the realization that my Victoria Secret purchases would need to be online from this point forward. After we picked up our picture I realized that Jack was no longer holding his football, he had left it at Victoria Secret. I had to swallow my pride and go back to the store to retrieve the football. I can picture it now; one sales person saying to the other "here comes that deranged lady with the loud, violent twins and the sick kid with the panty fetish. I have recruited Trisha to come with us on Monday for round two, wish me luck!