Love Notes

Dear Husband,

The next time one of our evil spawn start fussing in the middle of the night listen to me when I say, "he is just fussing, he will settle down in a minute". Please don't guilt me into bringing him to bed with us. And, if you are some how able to convince me to do this again, I call the head you can have the feet.

Sincerely,
Your loving wife


Dear Ben,

Oh Benny, Benny, Benny, I do love you so, but not at 3am. The next time you start screaming in the middle of the night there best be some blood involved. If I wanted my back massaged by little feet I would have a little Chinese woman walk on my back, no need to kick the shit out of me. I know you are a happy boy, but please reserve your singing for when the sun is up. If I ever eat too many retard sandwiches again and invite you into my bed please keep the following rules in mind: 1. No kicking mommy, 2. No singing, 3. No snoring, 4. Bring your own pillow, mine is not big enough for the two of us, 5. You are a small boy, you only get a small portion of the bed, you must lay parallel to mommy and daddy, 6. Same for covers, they do not need to be wrapped around you, we have a king sized quilt on a queen sized bed, there should be enough for everyone. My bed, my rules, if you don't like it stay in your own bed!

Love,
Your tired mommy