Yum....Retard Sandwiches...My Favorite!

So, I had retard sandwiches for lunch. Travis took Jack to the Dallas Auto Show and I took Ben and Lauren to McDonalds with friends for lunch and play. When we got home Travis informed me that he would be taking Jack to play baseball so I ran Ben and Lauren to Walmart to by newspapers so I could clip coupons to buy our weekly groceries. I allowed Ben to bring the new Hummer that Jack had brought him home from the auto show and Lauren to bring her new Hummer (from the auto show) and her Wendy doll (from Bob the Builder). We grabbed our 4 newspapers, straws and salsa then headed to the computer department to see if the had an AC adapter for my Dell (no such luck). When we got to the express check out with our limited purchases Ben discovered he had lost his Hummer. What was I thinking allowing him to bring the freaking Hummer in? I grabbed our four Sunday papers, 100 flexible straws and an 8lb 10oz jug of salsa that weighted at least 96 pounds and retraced our steps looking for the Hummer. We back tracked as my fingers were about to be amputated by the weight of plastic sacks tearing through them. I tried to keep Ben and Lauren by my side during our recovery mission but we had relinquished our cart (remember the retard sandwich I ate for lunch?) and they were enjoying their newfound freedom. As we searched for the toy, I lost Ben. Great, as I was searching for the FREE Hummer I lost my 2-year-old. I tried to explain the seriousness of the situation to Lauren, telling her to keep up as we changed the focus of our mission and searched for Ben. I found Ben, then realized that I had lost Lauren. Screw the free Hummer! I found Lauren, I had both kids, so we were out of there. What was I thinking allowing them to bring toys into the store? I know better. Then I am losing kids looking for a free toy. What? Am I insane? The Hummer is gone. I have threatened Jack with his life if he mentions the damn car. Hopefully we won't have to think about it again.