Boys Don't Make Passes At Girls With Fat Asses

I got glasses when I was 18 months old. The first time I heard someone say "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses", my dad told me that wasn't right. He told me the way you say it is "boys don't make passes at girls with fat asses". I was reminded of this phrase today when Lauren failed her vision test at her 3-year-old check-up. Her pediatrician said that she failed really bad in her left eye and also failed in her right eye. The doctor tried to soften the blow by telling me that the eye-testing machine can have false positives. I am not buying into that. He told me that the ear-testing machine had false positives when Jack failed his hearing test two years ago. Now Jack has tubes and is hearing just fine! I think the average mother would be more concerned about this than I am. She is a beautiful little girl and will look really cute in her new spectacles. Plus, we will be able to get our glasses together come January (since my neurologist referred me to an ophthalmologist at my last appointment). I called the only Pediatric Ophthalmologist in the area and he can't get her in until December. I figure since we won't have a vision plan until January we might as well wait a couple more weeks. What's a couple of weeks when you are already waiting 2 months? In other news she only weights 28 pounds (15th percentile), so I guess we don't have to worry about the fat ass thing.