Potty Talk

Jack: Mom! I just took a dip in the toilet and now it won't flush!
Me: You did what?
Jack: I took a dip and the toilet won't flush.
Me: Why did you have your hands in the potty?
Jack: Gross, I didn't, there is poop in there!
Me: Oh, you took a dump!

SANTA Fe

Jack: Where have you been?
Me: Santa Fe.
Lauren: I am going to sit on Santa's lap!
Jack: You are scared of Santa!
Me: No, she isn't scared of Santa anymore she is a big girl.
Jack: I love Santa, why didn't I get to go?
Me: Santa doesn't live in Santa Fe; he lives at the North Pole.
Ben: Then who lives in Santa Fe?
Me: Ms. Trisha's dad.
Lauren: Mr. Clint lives in Texas, not Santa Fe.
Me: Mr. Clint is Ms. Trisha's husband; her daddy lives in Santa Fe.
Jack: Is his name Santa?

This Headache Has Benny's Name All Over It

Do you remember that commercial with the guy with his arms outstretched who says "I have a headache this big and it has Excedrin written all over it"? I have a headache considerably bigger than that and it is because of Benny. I took Jack to Walmart to buy his school supplies. I was expecting this to be an enjoyable experience remembering happy times shopping for school supplies with my mom. Unfortunately, it was quite the opposite. As I was reviewing the list trying to figure out how in the hell Jack will use 12 glue sticks Ben pulled the fire alarm. I swooped Ben up, no questions asked and buckled him in the cart. I didn't need to say anything, all three of them knew I was pissed! The alarm went off for at least 10 minutes before anyone did anything about it. Perhaps they couldn't hear it over Ben screaming, "Let me out! I want down! I want to walk!" Meanwhile, Jack and Lauren were climbing on everything. I must have said get down a millilon times. Between the screams, mountain climbing and the piercing sound of the fire alarm I couldn't decipher the list for the life of me. What is an 'Asst. Plastic Pocket Only Folder' and an 'Asst. 3-Hole "Pocket Plus" Poly Pouch'? I still don't know. Maybe my head will clear while I am in Santa Fe with my girlfriends and I will be able to figure it out Wednesday when I get home. When the alarm was finally turned off Ben said "Oh no, the noise stopped, we need to go pull it again". I swear this kid knows how to push my buttons!

Deterrent Or A/C

I have been using those Cool Alert Pull-Ups on Ben and guess what, we have made zero progress. He is showing all of the signs of being ready. He wakes up dry most days, he only goes potty a few times a day, but he refuses to go in the toilet. These Pull-Ups are suppose to be cold when he goes making it an uncomfortable "alert" of sorts that he needs to use the potty. Let's face it, it is July in Texas, it is HOT! I have been in situations during this string of 100-degree days that it may have been worth it to pee my pants to cool myself off a little bit! We (I use that term loosely, I work they look for trouble) have been working outside at the rental property the last few days. Poor Ben is my sweaty kid, he gets flush almost immediately when we go outside and he sweats so much that his hair is completely wet. So tell me, if you are the sweaty kid, in the Texas heat in July would Cool Alert Pull-Ups be a deterrent or A/C? Do they make Hot Alert Pull-Ups? Now that might work!

Party Planning

It is birthday time again! I can't believe that Ben and Lauren are almost 3 years old. They are really growing up. It makes part of me want to have another baby and the other part is very excited about the things we can do as a family when the kids get bigger! But, there is no time to think about it now; I am too busy planning the party!

The invitation:


I attached a treat size bag of Scooby snacks to each invitation before we hand delivered them.

The sprinkler:


Lauren's swimsuit:


Ben's swimsuit:


Jack's swimsuit:


54" Scooby decoration:


Chairs of honor:


Stay tuned for goody bags!

Hot. Damn Hot!

Today was the hottest day of the year. 102 degrees. Why does it seem inevitable that someone always leaves a child in the car on a day like this? Do people forget kids in the car everyday and they only get attention if the poor baby dies, or do they only forget their children when their brains are fried due to this unbearable heat? Today a daycare provider forgot a 19-month-old little girl in a van for 6 hours. I don't get this. For 6 hours nobody at the daycare wondered where the little girl was? She was only 19 months old. When my kids were 19 months old if I didn't see them for more than 5 minutes I knew they must have been getting into trouble somewhere. I often find myself doing a head count when I am out with my kids and I am only in charge of three. Why didn't someone notice they were missing a child? The cause of the little girl's death has not been determined yet. I don't get this either. You don't know why she died? She was in a hot car for 6 hours. What do you mean the cause of death hasn't been determined? Other parents that take their children to this daycare were interviewed. None of them were able to string two sentences together. Perhaps this heat has fried their brains too?

Lemonade Into Lemons

I took the kids to the dentist this morning. Jack's front two teeth are already loose. The dentist thinks he will lose them in the next 6 months. Wow my baby is growing up!

As a reward for no cavities and being good at the dentist we went out to lunch. Jack loves going to places you can fill your own soda. As soon as the counter girl handed him his cup he was off to the soda fountain. By the time I got there with Ben and Lauren in tow Jack had his medium sized cup almost completely full of lemonade. I said "Jack, its full, stop, stop", but he didn't bother to stop until he felt the lemonade spilling over the top of his cup and onto his hand. He was so alarmed that he jerked the cup back towards himself. Unfortunately his cup got caught on the grate and he dumped the entire cup of lemonade down his front. He was covered from head to toe with the sticky goodness. I was standing directly behind him so I was wet from the knee down. The young (and I am sure childless) professional women were picking up there purses with disgust to save them from the yellow flood. Jack was so sad all through lunch. He was cold, he was wet, he was sticky and his brother and sister were laughing at him.