Eddie Haskell

Jack is a boy after my own heart. He loves to go out to eat. If you can't go out to eat, take out is the next best option. It isn't that we won't eat at home we just love eating out. Yesterday as I planned for the kids to spend time at my aunt's house while I was at the doctor I asked...

Me: Do you want me to pack lunch in your lunchbox to eat at Aunt Kathy's or would you rather me stop and pick something up between my appointments and bring it to you?

Jack: Oh mom, I don't want you to work too hard, why don't you just pick something up?

What an ass-kisser! This kid knows how to work it. He is going to be a force to be reckoned with when he is a teenager!

Perspective

I have had a particularly crappy time with my MS lately. I am not having a flare, but I am finally getting into the neuro-urologist and my neurologist and let's just say the news was not great. I spent a good portion of last night and this morning throwing a little pity party for myself. On my hour long drive back to the doctor this morning the kids and I witnessed a horrible accident on the freeway. I was traveling south and the accident was on the northbound side. Someone changed lanes and clipped the corner of a man in an SUV who lost control, flipped his car and hit the center guardrail right in front of us. The motorcyclist in front of us and I stopped and tried to get the man out of the car. We couldn't pry the doors open. The EMTs arrived almost immediately. Three of the men were able to bend the door open. The man crawled out stunned and covered in blood. The EMTs put him in a neck brace and cut his clothes off to assess his injuries. My knees shook and my stomach was weak as I watched. I was nearly in tears when I returned to my car to answer my children's questions.

Jack: Is that man going to be okay?
Me: He had a bad accident and is really hurt, but he is going to be okay.
Lauren: Does he have any kids?
Me: I don't know, it looked like he was on the way to work, he could be a daddy.
Ben: What will happen to his kids?
Me: His kids will be okay the man will get better.

All the while I was hoping that I was telling the truth. It really shook me up too. It really puts things into perspective. It could be a lot worse. I need to take some time to look at the good things in my life. I may post the details of my appointment at a later date...and I may not. I am choosing not to think about it right now.

Happy Birthday Babies

My babies are three today. This morning was like Christmas, except poor Jack didn't get anything. I felt sorry for him. In most families that have three kids, each kid has their own birthday. It isn't like this morning when every kid was opening gifts except for Jack. I got Jack a couple of puzzles from the dollar spot at Target which made him feel a little better and he has had a fun day teaching Ben and Lauren how to use their new toys.

Dear Lauren,

Oh how I love you. You are the best daughter anyone could ever ask for. So loving, independent, strong, spunky, witty, beautiful and smart. I am so proud of you and lucky that you are my daughter. I love the relationship we have and hope that we are just as close when you are 13 as we are now. You remind me so much of my sister. I love Nicole so much and I know she loves you! You are the best girl in the whole wide world. I can't wait to go through all of your milestones with you; first kiss, first bra, first period, first boyfriend, prom, graduation, wedding and babies. I can only hope that you continue to think I am as great as you think I am now!

Love,
Mommy


Dear Benny,

My strong willed little pleaser. You have an infectious laugh and a smile that goes on for miles. You hate when I give you kisses, which makes the times you decide to kiss me even more meaningful. I love the running tackle hugs you give me. People ask me if you are always so serious which make me feel even luckier that you save your smiles, jokes and laughs for our family. I can't wait to see what kind of man you become. You are a great kid and I love you more and more each day. You will make your wife very lucky someday! I am so proud of you; it will be years before you understand my love for you!

Love,
Mommy

The Speeding Ticket Theory

I have a new theory to potty train Ben and it goes like this. I compare Ben to a speeding vehicle. Always in a hurry, always on the go, always busy, unless of course you need him to hurry for you. Doesn't it seem like when you get pulled over for speeding the officer takes his sweet time pulling up your plates, reviewing your insurance and writing you a ticket. By the time the cop is done with you, you have lost any time that you may have gained by speeding. This is my new theory on changing diapers. I take my time. I waste his time. If getting your diaper changed is a hassle maybe he will start going in the potty...

Brotherly Love

I kept up the tradition and asked Jack if he wanted to choose a toy for each or if he would like to use his own money to buy them gifts. He went with the 'home shopping network’, which is fine with me; we don't need a lot of new toys around here! He put a lot of thought into the gifts and came up with his Diego Jeep for Ben because he likes Diego and his Grumpy stuffed animal because Lauren "loves" Snow White. He wrapped the gifts himself while I was wrapping the presents from Travis and I.

Jack: Wrapping presents is hard work!
Me: It sure is.
Jack: But, it is fun when you are doing it for someone you love.

You have to love this kid. If you don't there is something wrong with you!

The Good News And The Bad News...

The good news: Ben refuses to wear diapers. Only "panties" for him!

The bad news: Ben refuses to go potty on the toilet. He will sit on the potty, but that is where his cooperation ceases.

What do you do with a kid that won't wear diapers and won't go in the potty?

I'll tell you what I would do; I would let the kid wear his "panties" and clean up three, yes THREE, accidents in one day. Technically, I only cleaned up two messes, the poor saps hanging onto the bottom rung at Walmart cleaned up the other (see previous post). Tonight when I went to put a Pull-Up on him for bed he flipped out.

Me: We are going to put on your special nighttime underwear.
Ben: Those are not panties; those are diapers, I DON'T WEAR DIAPERS ANYMORE!
Me: You have to use the toilet if you want to wear underwear to bed.
Ben: I DON'T NEED TO GO POTTY, I DON'T WEAR DIAPERS AND I DON'T WEAR PULL-UPS, I WEAR PANTIES!
Me: I've got a deal for you; if you go pee pee in the potty tomorrow you can wear underwear to bed tomorrow night.
Ben: I want Bob The Builder PANTIES tomorrow!
Me: Okay, deal.
Ben: Give me the diaper...

Go Potty Go!

Ben woke up at 6:30 drenched in urine. He's had it with diapers. We watched the Go Potty Go video a friend loaned me and we were off and running. He didn't want to wear diapers anymore. He picked out his "Bob The Builder panties" and we went about our day. We played outside without an accident. Don't get me wrong, he didn't go potty in the toilet, but he didn't pee in his "panties" either. We took several potty breaks with no success. By 11am we needed to leave the house to run some errands. I tried to put him in Pull-Ups but he refused. I know, this is a good sign, but it is also a major hassle. "Okay" I said patiently, "Then you will need to go potty before we leave". He sat and sat and sat, nothing. Finally I gave up and we headed out of the house with a ticking time bomb in Bob The Builder panties. I thought to myself, this is a blog post in the making. I pushed the thought out of my head, being hopeful that this is it and my boy will be potty trained by his third birthday, which is Sunday. We went to Half Price Books to find the books Ben and Lauren will be using in their Spanish lessons. We spent an hour and only found one of the seven we needed. I took all three kids in for a bathroom break. Lauren chose the first stall, Jack chose the second and Ben and I headed to the handicapped stall.

Lauren: Mommy, my dress is in the potty!
Ben: Gross!
Me: It's okay baby, I will help you in a minute, just go potty.
Lauren: Mommy, I can't reach the toilet paper!
Jack: I will help you Lauren I am almost done.
Me: Thanks Jack, you are a great big brother!
Jack: Benny, have you peepeed in the potty yet?
Ben: Nope!

Ben finally decided that he didn't have to go so we headed to our next errand. Lauren's dress was wet in the back from the waist down.

We went to the post office.

Then the bank.

Then Home Depot. I decided it had been long enough and we should try to potty again. So, in we went. No luck. We spent at least 30 minutes gathering our purchases and getting through the checkout.

Last stop, Walmart. We had to pick up a few groceries. We stopped at the bathroom as soon as we got there. Lauren peed and dipped her dress in the toilet again. Ben sat on the potty with no results again. We stopped at the McDonalds in the store for Happy Meals for the kids to eat while we shopped. Ben chugged his apple juice in seconds flat. I didn't consider the implications when I got Ben a cup of water to drink with his lunch. It was 2:15 by the time I got through the entire store. I put everything up on the conveyor then heard a frantic "Mommy, I have to go poo poo!" I turned in his direction and before I could say "Okay baby, as soon as we are through the checkout we will go to the bathroom" the woman behind us in line announced to everyone within earshot "Excuse me, your son is having an accident!" I quietly told the checker that my son had an accident. I expected her to get on the intercom and say, "clean up in aisle 3" but no she picks up the intercom and said "Urine clean up, aisle 3". Poor Benny was hiding his little face. I didn't blame him; I wanted to do the same thing. Instead I told him "It's okay, everyone makes mistakes when they are learning to use the potty". Apparently the guy behind the potty narc did not hear the request for a 'urine clean up' because he walked right through it. I saw the potty narc whisper to him and felt the glare of disgust from the unmarried and most likely childless man. If only he had known about Lauren dipping her dress in the public potty...twice. I won’t give up, I have a goal…Sunday is only two days away. Go potty, go potty, go potty go!