Do Glasses Make One Smarter?

Okay, I will admit it; I have pretty much sucked at keeping my new school year's resolution. I guess I am just not good at making resolutions. It seems that my blogging promise has fallen by the way side just like my vow to exercise and eat right. I resolve to no longer kid myself by making resolutions!

Ben's glasses came in yesterday, but Lauren's did not. No surprise, Ben did not want to wear the glasses. I instituted a star program that renewed his glasses wearing interest. When you wear your glasses ALL day you get a star. When you have 5 stars on your chart I will take you to the store to pick out a special prize. The ground rules are simple; only take your glasses off if you are sleeping. Ben attempted to work the system by telling me that he was going to 'take a nap' while he watched cartoons. Does he think I just fell off the turnip truck? I have worn (well, the eye doctor has thought I needed) glasses for 32 years. I can see these sorry excuses coming a mile away! But today when we arrived at "Meet The Teacher" at Ben and Lauren's new school I was pretty impressed.

Ben: I am going to take my glasses off and put them in the case so I can leave them in the car.
Me: No, you are going to wear them in.
Ben: I don't want to lose them in my classroom!

Now that was good! But, I am better. I explained that if he simply keeps his glasses on his face there is no chance of losing them.

My mom has always told me how hard it was to get a good picture of me when I was little because my glasses were always crooked or dirty. Now I get it. These two were the best I could come up with. I have worse ones where the poor kid looks like he has Downs Syndrome! The pictures don't do him justice he really does look cute!

How Much Is Too Much?

Monday: Baseball Practice
Tuesday: Rock Climbing
Wednesday: Boy Scouts
Thursday: Rock Climbing
Friday: Baseball Game

Is it a sign that Jack has too much on his plate when he falls asleep in the car on the way to rock climbing practice? I know he is tired because he is getting back into the swing of school, but I don't want to over schedule him. When he was young I said I was not going to be the mom that shuttled her kid from one activity to the next. I don't really know how this happened. Actually I do. He started out with baseball, he liked it. This summer he did a rock climbing camp, he liked it. Who am I to tell him that he can't do something? He can do anything he puts his mind to, but now because I have encouraged him, I am afraid he will burn out by the time he is 7! I am going to give this a couple more weeks, but something might have to go...I just don't know what!

New School Year's Resolution

Today is Jack's first day of first grade. I really miss my little buddy, he is really a great side kick! I am finding that I am different than a lot of mothers who have been counting the days until the first day of school. I really enjoy my kids and I like to be around them. I think if you can't say that about your kid you are doing something wrong. Now, with that being said, I have days that I wish I could have a break, but as a general rule I would rather be with my kids than without!

Along with the new school year, I have made a resolution to blog at least every other day. I looked through the summer's blog posts and was disappointed in myself. We had a lot of fun that I didn't document, I will not let that happen again. On days that I don't have anything to talk about I will try to remember something from the summer to post!

Meet The Teacher

I took Jack to meet the teacher last week. The kids get to check out their classroom, see where they hang their backpack, have an ice cream sundae (which was in the cafeteria so I was able to conveniently skip that this year!) and meet their new teacher. Jack was nervous to introduce himself to his new teacher; he kept stalling by wanting to explore another corner of the classroom. Finally, he got up the nerve, but when he was standing right in front of her he froze up. He had practiced saying "Hi, I'm Jack Hofeldt" but nothing came out. Luckily, his teacher has seen this before; she stuck her hand out to shake his and introduced herself. She is really nice. His teacher last year was more like me, she was nice, but a little sarcastic and very to-the-point. His new teacher is sugary sweet; she got down to his level and looked him right in the eye when she was talking to him. I am sure Jack will like her and it is good for him to experience different kinds of people. I was so proud of Jack as we were walking back to the car. My MS was making me a little trippy. When this happens it is Travis' job to offer me his arm for support. But, Travis wasn't with us so I had to ask Jack to slow down and let me put my hand on his shoulder for support. He was such a good boy; he was very caring and kept asking if he was going slow enough for me. I feel sorry for him, no 6-year-old should have to deal with a mom who can't walk, but he handled it like such a big boy! He can be so mature when he wants to be, he is a great kid! As we walked we talked about his new teacher.

Me: Mrs. Q is nice, don't you think?
Jack: Yeah, she is really nice and I get to sit by my friend.
Me: It should be a pretty fun year!
Jack: Yeah, until Mrs. Q finds out I can't read!
Me: You CAN read!
Jack: Not very well and only little books.
Me: That is what they expect of a kid going into 1st grade, you are going to work on reading a lot this year and by the end of school you will be an excellent reader!
Jack: We'll see about that.

Panty Envy

Me: Come on Lauren, let's get your Cinderella panties on!
Lauren: Mommy, do you have Cinderella panties?
Me: No, do you feel sorry for me?
Lauren: Yes, I do! But, don't give up, Mommy...just ask Santa to bring you some!

Benny Logic

Ben: I don't want to go back to the eye doctor.
Me: Why not?
Ben: I don't want to get another broken head.
Me: Well, we have to go back to the eye doctor to pick up your glasses.
Ben: This time I am going to let Jack sit on the chair so he can get the bloody head!

Another First...

Jack has been playing T-ball for a couple of years now. He has officially aged-up and is in coach pitch with a harder ball. I got an email from the coach stating that it was "imperative" for the boys to wear a cup. Hmmm, where do I start? I asked Travis if buying your first cup is something that a boy does with his father. I was hoping Travis would take this task off my plate, but he didn't. I giggled like a schoolgirl when Travis told me to take him to Dick's. Jack also needed new baseball pants; black socks and a black belt so I headed to the little embroidery shop around the corner that has that stuff super cheap. I had a nice high school boy helping us and noticed that they sold cups, so when Jack went into the fitting room trying on the pants I took the opportunity to learn more...

Me: While he is in the fitting room can you help me get a...(lowering my voice to a whisper) cup and jock strap?
High school girl: I don't know anything about that...(pointing to the high school boy) he can help you...giggle, giggle, giggle.
High school boy: (walking me over to the wall of different colored and sized cups) they are over here. (He handed me the first cup he could get his hands on)
Me: This looks a little big...as a matter of fact this would fit me! (Holding it over my privates)
HSB: Yeah, that one is a little big, let's see...(he handed me a smaller cup that didn't include the jock) this is just the cup, you will need to buy the jock or the briefs separate.
Me: Briefs?
HSB: Yeah, they have briefs now that you can slip the cup in. I wear them; they are a lot more comfortable.
Me: Okay, do you have any of those in his size?
HSB: No, we don't, you can go to Sports Authority.
Me: Okay, Sports Authority sounds better, my husband suggested Dick's and that just felt wrong!
HSB: I don't blame you!
Me: Okay, so on these underwear; do you wear your boxers over the top of them?
HSB: NO! His junk will get too hot! You wash the briefs like underwear.
Me: Got it! (Reading the package) This says to wipe clean with a damp cloth with a mild detergent. Do people really do that? Why don't they just buy a new one? Cleaning the cup is not in my job description!
HSB: I don't clean mine.
Me: Does your mom?
HSB: I hope not.
Me: Okay, I need the cup, pants, socks and belt.
High school girl: Do you want a bag?
Me: Yes! Isn't this like buying tampons or something? I think I need a bag!
HSG: Good point!

By the time Jack got out of the dressing room I had all of the stuff paid for and in the bag. I handed Jack the bag and told him to put the pants in so we could go. Jack sifted through the bag and pulled out the cup...

Jack: What's this?
Me: It is a cup.
Jack: Whose is it?
Me: Yours.
Jack: What is it for?

The giggles from the high school kids were getting louder by the second.

Me: It is to protect you and my future grandchildren.
Jack: (scratching his head) What are you talking about?
Me: It is so the ball doesn't hurt you if it hits you in the penis.
Jack: (tossing the cup back in the bag) Oh, okay.

At this point the high school kids were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes.

Me: (addressing the employees on my way out) Think twice before you have kids...this will be you in 20 years!