Another First...

Friday night Travis and I were getting ready to go to a Christmas party. I was feeding the kids a quick dinner before the babysitter arrived when the phone rang.

Me: Hello.
Little Girl: Hello, this is Micah, is Jack H. home?
Me: Yes, just a minute.

This is the girl that wrote "I like Jack because he is handsome" in his Top Cat book at school. As soon as I read that I was determined to get to the bottom of this. I asked Jack if Micah was cute, he was appalled and yelled "No, she's short!" I am at school volunteering often so I knew it wouldn't be hard to do a little detective work. I started with his teacher.

Me: So, who is Micah?
Mrs. Q: Which one?
Me: There are two?
Mrs. Q: Yep, Asian or Black?
Me: I don't know the one who said Jack was handsome in his Top Cat book.
Mrs. Q: Oh, that's Asian, Black wouldn't know that word.

Okay, let's get past the bigotry of Jack's teacher for a minute since this is not what the story is about, but I was just as shocked as you are that this was coming out of the mouth of a first grade teacher.

Travis and I eavesdropped intently and snickered as we watched our little boy on the phone. I could see him rolling his eyes and turning red, but he didn't say much. All I heard him say was "okay". When he got off the phone my interrogation started.

Me: Who was that?
Jack: Micah.
Me: What did she want?
Jack: I don't know.
Me: What did she say?
Jack: I don't know.

I could see that this line of questioning was going nowhere fast so I stopped while I was ahead. Jack gets kind of shy in front of his dad and I was guessing this was what was going on.

We went to our party and surveyed our friends with older boys about when the girls calling the house starts. From what I can gather our boy is advanced!

The next day I corned Jack in his room by himself.

Me: So, what was that phone call all about last night?
Jack: I don't know?
Me: Why was she calling?
Jack: I don't know?
Me: Were her friends with her?
Jack: I guess so; I heard a lot of giggling.
Me: What did she say?
Jack: She said she was going to kiss me at school on Monday.
Me: What did you say?
Jack: Nothing.
Me: Did she say anything else?
Jack: Yeah, she said she was going to marry me.
Me: Do you like Micah?
Jack: Not like that!
Me: Is she your friend?
Jack: I guess so, but she is kinda annoying because she is always trying to touch me and kiss me.
Me: So, you don't like girls yet?
Jack: I like girls! I have a girlfriend! I just don't like Micah like that!!
Me: Who is your girlfriend?
Jack: Why do we need to keep going over this? It is Lily!!

Naughty or Nice?

Jack: What if Santa just leaves me coal for Christmas?
Me: Then I will have to ask you what naughty thing you did that I didn't know about.
Jack: Oh.
Me: Have you been naughty or nice?
Jack: Nice.
Ben: I have been really nice!
Me: Lauren, have you been naughty or nice?
Lauren: Naughty...Wait, I mean nice, NICE, I promise I have been NICE!
Jack: We might all be on the naughty list...
Me: Well, you could try really hard to be nice between now and Christmas and maybe Santa will forgive you for anything naughty you have done.
Ben: I have been nice ALL DAY and Santa hasn't given me anything...Santa is the naughty one!

Red Ribbon vs. Red Wine

Jack: Last week was red ribbon week.
Me: Yeah...
Jack: We learned that wine was a drug. Why so you drink drugs? It is bad for you!
Me: Well, it is okay if you are 21 and don't drink too much.
Jack: You aren't 21!
Me: You're right, I am older than 21, you have to be at least 21 to drink wine.
Jack: You said 21!
Me: I meant at least 21.
Jack: Okay, if you say so...why, do you drink and drive?
Me: I don't drink and drive!
Jack: You are drinking (we were in the car) right now!
Me: I am drinking soda!
Jack: It is dangerous to yourself and others to drink and drive!
Me: It is dangerous to drink alcohol and drive.
Jack: Oh, they should have been more specific!

Update...

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, it has been almost a month since my last confession...ummm, I mean, blog. I have been so busy lately that I have only had time to do a quick Facebook post. Still being busy I am going to give you the highlights from the last month.
•I caught Ben standing on the toilet peeing. The kid actually had the lid up and was standing with one foot on each side! And, to make matters worse, he was in MY master bathroom. There was pee everywhere, yuck! When I questioned him he simply said he was standing up, like a big boy. I have been told that he is brilliant because it would be virtually impossible for him to stand on the ground and pee up into the toilet. I am going to go ahead and encourage sitting from this point forward!
•As the room mother for Ben and Lauren’s preschool class I was at school for their Halloween party. It was a little tricky because, as I requested, Ben and Lauren sit at different tables. While I was at Ben’s table I was listening in on a conversation about what the kids were going to be for Halloween.
Little Girl: Me, my sister and my mom are going to dress up like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
Ben: I am going to be Scooby Doo, Lauren is going to be Daphne, my big brother is going to be Shaggy and my mom is going to be Velma.
Little Girl: Is your dad going to be Freddy?
Ben: No, my dad doesn’t like fun… (I could see the wheels in his little head turning, he must have been thinking, oh no, they aren’t going to think my dad is cool, I must recover)…but, he does like to ride zebras!

•I have been so proud of Jack’s reading. At the end of kindergarten he was a level 3 which was on the low side of average or the high side of below average. I prefer to think of it as the former. After the first two months of first grade he is now reading level 12 books! Level 12 books are the last books for first graders until they are considered gifted! Yes, that’s right my formerly below average kid is now almost gifted. I am most proud of the hard work he has put in. This morning when I came out of my bedroom I found Jack on the couch reading a book to his sister! Man, I love that kid!
•Lauren has been such a pleaser lately. She is becoming the child my mother promised a girl would be. She started out as a needy little thing, but lately she only wants to make me happy. She tries to do everything just like I do and says things like “big girls only cry if they get hurt, right mommy?”
•Lauren: Mommy, are you mad at me:
Me: No baby, I’m not mad!
Lauren: Then why do you have your angry eyes on?
Me: I don’t have angry eyes, what are you talking about?
Lauren: All those lines in between your eyes above your nose.
Me: I am just squinting…and I could probably use some Botox
Lauren: What’s Botox?
•Travis and I are leaving for Arizona Friday. We are going to visit a good friend and meet her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend is a former Marine and does base jumping. So, Travis and I are going to check sky diving off our bucket lists while we are there. I have already called going first. The way I see it is that if he goes first and plummets to the earth not only do I not get to go, but I am strapped with 3 kids all by myself!

God Loves Mommy!

Me: Jack, you are a stud, you know that, right?
Jack: Yep
Me: You are an awesome kid!
Jack: Thanks.
Me: How did I get so lucky?
Jack: Maybe it is because God thought you were so awesome so he gave you the very best baby he had.
Me: I think you are absolutely right!

What Does This Protect?

Jack had his first baseball game last week. Grammy and grandpa took advantage of their move to Texas and came too. Unfortunately, they were only an inning and a half into the game when it was called for lightning. This is a double whammy, the kid is disappointed AND worst of all they didn't play enough innings for the game to count, so we have to do it all over again later in the season! Jack didn't touch the ball the whole game. He didn't bat and when he was in the field the ball didn't come near him. The only bright side of the whole evening was that his uniform was still in pristine condition so I wouldn't have to wash it! But, he ended up spilling his Gatorade down his shirt and onto his pants. I had him take his uniform off in the laundry room so I could get the red drink out of his new pants right away. When he took off his pants I noticed that that the Gatorade had soaked through his pants and into his special cup holding underwear. I had him take his underwear off so I could wash it too. The cup was left on the laundry room floor and I didn't give it another thought until the next morning when I heard Jack screaming at Lauren. I came running to see that Lauren had the cup upside down over her nose and mouth like a gas mask.

Me: Gross Lauren; take that off your face!
Lauren: What is it?
Me: It is Jack's cup.
Lauren: What do you do with it?
Jack: It is not for your nose, it is for my penis!

When I told my mom this story she was quick to bring up the story of her little brother putting her middle brother's jock on his head and running around the house saying "I didn't know you had a hockey mask, Billy!” The middle brother was yelling, "Get my jock off your head!" and my grandmother was screaming, "It is not a jock, it is an athletic supporter!" So, perhaps she has a genetic defect...

How Much Is Too Much?

Monday: Baseball Practice
Tuesday: Rock Climbing
Wednesday: Boy Scouts
Thursday: Rock Climbing
Friday: Baseball Game

Is it a sign that Jack has too much on his plate when he falls asleep in the car on the way to rock climbing practice? I know he is tired because he is getting back into the swing of school, but I don't want to over schedule him. When he was young I said I was not going to be the mom that shuttled her kid from one activity to the next. I don't really know how this happened. Actually I do. He started out with baseball, he liked it. This summer he did a rock climbing camp, he liked it. Who am I to tell him that he can't do something? He can do anything he puts his mind to, but now because I have encouraged him, I am afraid he will burn out by the time he is 7! I am going to give this a couple more weeks, but something might have to go...I just don't know what!

New School Year's Resolution

Today is Jack's first day of first grade. I really miss my little buddy, he is really a great side kick! I am finding that I am different than a lot of mothers who have been counting the days until the first day of school. I really enjoy my kids and I like to be around them. I think if you can't say that about your kid you are doing something wrong. Now, with that being said, I have days that I wish I could have a break, but as a general rule I would rather be with my kids than without!

Along with the new school year, I have made a resolution to blog at least every other day. I looked through the summer's blog posts and was disappointed in myself. We had a lot of fun that I didn't document, I will not let that happen again. On days that I don't have anything to talk about I will try to remember something from the summer to post!

Meet The Teacher

I took Jack to meet the teacher last week. The kids get to check out their classroom, see where they hang their backpack, have an ice cream sundae (which was in the cafeteria so I was able to conveniently skip that this year!) and meet their new teacher. Jack was nervous to introduce himself to his new teacher; he kept stalling by wanting to explore another corner of the classroom. Finally, he got up the nerve, but when he was standing right in front of her he froze up. He had practiced saying "Hi, I'm Jack Hofeldt" but nothing came out. Luckily, his teacher has seen this before; she stuck her hand out to shake his and introduced herself. She is really nice. His teacher last year was more like me, she was nice, but a little sarcastic and very to-the-point. His new teacher is sugary sweet; she got down to his level and looked him right in the eye when she was talking to him. I am sure Jack will like her and it is good for him to experience different kinds of people. I was so proud of Jack as we were walking back to the car. My MS was making me a little trippy. When this happens it is Travis' job to offer me his arm for support. But, Travis wasn't with us so I had to ask Jack to slow down and let me put my hand on his shoulder for support. He was such a good boy; he was very caring and kept asking if he was going slow enough for me. I feel sorry for him, no 6-year-old should have to deal with a mom who can't walk, but he handled it like such a big boy! He can be so mature when he wants to be, he is a great kid! As we walked we talked about his new teacher.

Me: Mrs. Q is nice, don't you think?
Jack: Yeah, she is really nice and I get to sit by my friend.
Me: It should be a pretty fun year!
Jack: Yeah, until Mrs. Q finds out I can't read!
Me: You CAN read!
Jack: Not very well and only little books.
Me: That is what they expect of a kid going into 1st grade, you are going to work on reading a lot this year and by the end of school you will be an excellent reader!
Jack: We'll see about that.

Another First...

Jack has been playing T-ball for a couple of years now. He has officially aged-up and is in coach pitch with a harder ball. I got an email from the coach stating that it was "imperative" for the boys to wear a cup. Hmmm, where do I start? I asked Travis if buying your first cup is something that a boy does with his father. I was hoping Travis would take this task off my plate, but he didn't. I giggled like a schoolgirl when Travis told me to take him to Dick's. Jack also needed new baseball pants; black socks and a black belt so I headed to the little embroidery shop around the corner that has that stuff super cheap. I had a nice high school boy helping us and noticed that they sold cups, so when Jack went into the fitting room trying on the pants I took the opportunity to learn more...

Me: While he is in the fitting room can you help me get a...(lowering my voice to a whisper) cup and jock strap?
High school girl: I don't know anything about that...(pointing to the high school boy) he can help you...giggle, giggle, giggle.
High school boy: (walking me over to the wall of different colored and sized cups) they are over here. (He handed me the first cup he could get his hands on)
Me: This looks a little big...as a matter of fact this would fit me! (Holding it over my privates)
HSB: Yeah, that one is a little big, let's see...(he handed me a smaller cup that didn't include the jock) this is just the cup, you will need to buy the jock or the briefs separate.
Me: Briefs?
HSB: Yeah, they have briefs now that you can slip the cup in. I wear them; they are a lot more comfortable.
Me: Okay, do you have any of those in his size?
HSB: No, we don't, you can go to Sports Authority.
Me: Okay, Sports Authority sounds better, my husband suggested Dick's and that just felt wrong!
HSB: I don't blame you!
Me: Okay, so on these underwear; do you wear your boxers over the top of them?
HSB: NO! His junk will get too hot! You wash the briefs like underwear.
Me: Got it! (Reading the package) This says to wipe clean with a damp cloth with a mild detergent. Do people really do that? Why don't they just buy a new one? Cleaning the cup is not in my job description!
HSB: I don't clean mine.
Me: Does your mom?
HSB: I hope not.
Me: Okay, I need the cup, pants, socks and belt.
High school girl: Do you want a bag?
Me: Yes! Isn't this like buying tampons or something? I think I need a bag!
HSG: Good point!

By the time Jack got out of the dressing room I had all of the stuff paid for and in the bag. I handed Jack the bag and told him to put the pants in so we could go. Jack sifted through the bag and pulled out the cup...

Jack: What's this?
Me: It is a cup.
Jack: Whose is it?
Me: Yours.
Jack: What is it for?

The giggles from the high school kids were getting louder by the second.

Me: It is to protect you and my future grandchildren.
Jack: (scratching his head) What are you talking about?
Me: It is so the ball doesn't hurt you if it hits you in the penis.
Jack: (tossing the cup back in the bag) Oh, okay.

At this point the high school kids were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes.

Me: (addressing the employees on my way out) Think twice before you have kids...this will be you in 20 years!

My Future Daughter-in-law

Jack: When I get married, my wife is going to have blond hair like Lauren's.
Me: Why blond hair?
Jack: Because I like it.
Me: I see, what else?
Jack: She is going to have green eyes, a face like yours, skin like Benny's and she will be skinny just like you.
Me: Is that all?
Jack: And, when I meet her she will be wearing a blue dress with white polka dots.

Are We Going To Keeping Him Around?

Travis and I have been helping...wait, who am I kidding, we have been doing it...Travis' dad remodel his new (to him) house. He was evicted (again) so we helped him get a house bought and we have been fixing it up for the last two months. Travis' dad didn't want to spend a lot of money on his house, so let's just say it is literally and figuratively on the wrong side of the tracks. Travis went to pick his dad and a load of his stuff up yesterday. While Travis was gone, we went over to his dad's house to clean the bathroom, put on doorknobs, etc. As we were leaving the kids and I ran into a hood rat I have met in the neighborhood before.

Hood Rat: You look NICE!
Me: Thanks (trying to hurry the kids into the car)
Hood Rat: How you doing?
Me: Good, thanks.
Hood Rat: Where you from?
Me: The other side of town.
Hood Rat: Do you have a number so I can call you sometime?
Me: I have a number, but you can't call me, I am married.

I finally got the kids buckled in so we could get back to suburbia where we belong. I am thinking the hood rat was more interested in Travis' BMW (that I was driving) than how "nice" I looked. He was trying to get himself a sugar mama, and I wasn't biting!

Jack: Why did you tell that guy you were married?
Me: Because I am.
Jack: Did he want to be your husband?
Me: I don't know what he wanted, he wanted to call me and I don't want him to call me because I am married to daddy.
Jack: And, you don't want him to be your husband?
Me: No, I don't want him to be my husband!
Jack: Good, I like daddy.
Me: Me too.
Jack: So, are we going to keep daddy around awhile?
Me: Yeah.

Christmas in July

Ben and Lauren's 4th birthday is a week from Monday. I took them to Target to look at the toys so they could make a birthday wish list. Jack is feeling a little left out since he isn't choosing gifts. So, he has started thinking about Christmas gifts already.

Jack: What do you think I should ask Santa to bring me for Christmas?
Me: Why don't you ask him for a tube, skis and a new life jacket since mom and dad are going to buy the family a boat for Christmas?
Jack: How much does the boat cost?
Me: About $35,000.
Jack: I think I will just ask Santa for $35,000 and I can buy the boat.
Me: Santa makes toys, not money.
Jack: Well, $35,000 is probably too much to ask for, I probably wouldn't get any other toys if Santa brought me $35,000.
Me: You are probably right.
Jack: I think I will ask for two Nintendo DSs, three Power Wheels and just $1000.

Wow, I hope Santa hasn't been affected by the economy!

Climbing The Ladder

Jack has tried a few of the rock climbing walls that you see at carnivals and festivals and we have noticed that he has some talent for climbing. But most importantly, he really likes it, so I signed him up for rock climbing camp at a local climbing gym. From the moment we walked into the gym he was in love! The walls looked menacing to me, but he looked at them with lust in his heart! I asked his instructor after his first session of camp about the rock climbing team. Apparently the rock climbing team is not like signing your 6 year old up for T-ball. It is not as simple as signing a release and paying your money like I had anticipated. The instructor told me that if he liked camp then he should join Kids Climb which is once a week and similar to a camp type atmosphere. Being at Kids Climb will make him more likely to be noticed by the coaches of the team. If the coaches think he is good enough he will eventually be invited to be on the Junior Team. My understanding of the Junior Team is that the kids go to 'practice' but they don't compete. From there he would need to qualify to be on Team Canyon, which goes to competitions. When I went to pick Jack up on day 2 of camp the instructor pulled me aside and told me that the coach "noticed" Jack and would like to invite him to be on the team. Do not pass go, do not collect $200...he is on the team if we want him to be. I don't know if the coach needs to make a boat payment and is looking for one more sucker to pay $75/month for their kid to climb or what. But, I do know Jack is stoked! And, Travis and I are really proud of him. I am so happy that he has found something that he is good at and enjoys! When I was about his age I started competitive swimming and I loved always being a member of a team! This is a great sport, just like swimming, because he is a part of something bigger, but he is always trying to better himself! When I went to pick Jack up today I wanted to take some pictures of him on the wall. When I turned around Ben was gone. I found Ben on the other side of the rock wall about 6 feet off the ground with a huge smile on his face, but without a harness. I plucked him off the wall waiting for CPS to pop out from behind the corner and take him into custody. The thing I found most alarming were the teenagers who work at the gym who were working on the ropes didn't do a dang thing. They must have been thinking, "Wow, I hope that little dude doesn't fall"! In a couple years Ben can give rock climbing a try, until then I would prefer him to keep his fat little feet on the floor!

He's A Keeper!

The kid, not the fish!





I took all three kids fishing Sunday afternoon. We were only there a few minutes without catching a fish when Ben and Lauren started complaining about being hot, thirsty, bored, tired, you name it! I finally couldn't take it and we left. Jack was really bummed out that we didn't stay long enough to catch a fish. I promised him that we would put Ben and Lauren to bed early and go out by ourselves. We caught four fish in an hour. They weren't big fish, but it didn't matter to us!

Worth Every Cent

Today I received the sappy forward counting the costs of raising a child to age 18. The grand total is $160,140 not including college. That is $8896.66 per year, $741.38 per month, $171.08 per week, $24.24 per day or $1.01 per hour. I am sure you have seen the email before; it talks about everything you get for the money and how kids are worth the cost. It reminded me that I needed to post the note Jack gave me yesterday. This kid is worth every cent!

Mommy,
I love you. Thank you for everything you have done this summer.
From,
Jack

He knows just the right thing to say! I am so glad to know that all of my effort is being appreciated. He has bought himself at least another week of summer fun!

Six Flags, More Flags, More Fun!

Jack asked for a trip to Six Flags for his birthday back in March. We normally go over Spring Break when it is nice and cool. But, on the day that we had planned to go Jack woke up in the morning not feeling well. I got him to eat some breakfast, assuming he would feel better. It was only moments after he finished breakfast that he hurled all over the kitchen floor. So, our Six Flags trip was postponed. We decided to wait until school was out so we wouldn't have to fight the crowds on the weekend. When I received the email announcing Dora would be at Six Flags for one day only I knew that was the perfect day to go! When we scheduled the day we had no idea it would be 105 degrees out. We spent a few hours going on all sorts of rides. Travis and I took turns going on the roller coasters with Jack while the other one would take Ben and Lauren on a nearby kiddie ride. We were one of the few that thought going to Six Flags in 105 degree heat on a Thursday so we didn't have to wait in any lines! We were able to stay on most rides for two turns because there wasn't anyone waiting. The longest line we waited in was to see Dora. Travis took Jack on a ride while Lauren, Ben and I waited on Dora. When we finally got to the front of the line I got my camera out to document the moment. It was so hot that my camera wasn't functioning. As I was trying to get my camera to work Dora's security guard started pushing my stroller out of the way and ushering us through the line. I felt like Ralphie on The Christmas Story when the elf threw him down the slide and he still had more to tell Santa. There was a Six Flags representative there taking pictures, but I couldn't bring myself to buy it after spending $15 for parking, $175 for tickets and $65 for lunch. I can only hope that meeting Dora will be etched in their little memories! I was able to get the camera to work at the end of the day when the kids were nearing heat stroke. Lauren's hair started in braids; by the time the photo was taken she has one braid and one crimped ponytail. A good time was had by all!

The New Dating Rules

I have many friends that have gotten divorced in the last few years. I was saddened to watch Jon and Kate split up last night. All of these women have something in common; they are learning the 'new dating rules'. I do not envy these women and I am pretty sure that if Travis and I split up I would end up living a life of celibacy. I had to chuckle as my kids explained the dating rules to me from their point of view.

Ben: When I get bigger can we go on a date?
Me: Sure.
Jack: I will take you on a date to McAllister's!
Lauren: I want to go on a date with you too!
Jack: You can't go on a date with mom!
Me: Why not?
Lauren: Yes, I can!
Jack: No, you can't because you are a girl. Only boys can go on dates with girls and since you are a girl you can't go on a date wit mom because she is a girl. Ben and I are boys, so we can go on dates with mom.
Me: Can moms go on dates with her sons?
Jack: Sure, why not?

Kooky Cookie Cook-off

The 'lazy days of summer' are a farce! I don't know who is relaxing, but it sure isn't me! I have been running myself ragged trying to make positive summer vacation memories for my kids. Now that I am working I have decided to spend a couple hours a day on real estate, one hour at the gym and remainder of the day creating 'fun' for my kids. Since we are not made of money we will only do one thing that costs money (that isn't already spent like the pool or zoo membership) per week, the rest of the week we will do activities at home, the splash park, the pool or the zoo. The pay activities are things like Six Flags, the movies, roller-skating, Chuck E. Cheese, etc. We have scheduled our fun on the dry erase calendar so Jack can read it to the little ones and they can look forward to the next day’s fun. The calendar does leave room for spontaneity because we can easily push the activity later in the month if a play date or better offer comes along. I am not creative when it comes to entertaining children so I read a book "Fun House" by Karol Ladd. I read her book "The Power of a Positive Mom" and loved it so I figured this book couldn't be bad. A lot of the ideas are for older kids, but I did find several that the kids are excited about.

Today we had a Kooky Cookie Cook-off. I made a batch of cookie base and divided it into three equal portions. The kids made their own 'recipe' by choosing from chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, peanut butter cups, Oreos, cereal, cocoa, chocolate pudding, candy bars, Skittles, M&Ms, sprinkles, etc. The kids had a fabulous time making their cookies, then delivered them with pride to our neighbor. You have to love Mr. Paul, he looked at the cookies and without missing a beat told the kids how excited he was to try them.

Sink or Swim

In attempts to avoid the awful swimming lesson experience Jack has had in the past I am giving the kids private lessons. I am more than qualified, I was on swim team for 10+ years, taught group and private lessons for 8+ years, coached a kids (6-16 year olds) swim team for 5 years and coached a masters swim team (adults) for 3 or 4 years. If I were looking for the perfect teacher for my kids I would hire me...just to toot my own horn!

Last night was Lauren's turn. When we arrived at the pool she announced that she would rather swim in the baby pool. I calmly explained that we swim in the big pool for swimming lessons. That is when she told me she wanted to go home. What? You have to be kidding me! All I have ever hoped for in a kid is someone to follow in my swimming footsteps. I know you aren't supposed to put that much pressure on your kids, but I can't help it. Some people hope for beautiful kids, some hope for smart kids...I hoped for a swimmer...and I ended up with beautiful, smart kids! I talked her into the pool, but then she clung to my neck in attempts to drown me. When that didn't work she started crying, drawing the attention of all of the other children who love to swim. I tried a few more minutes to no avail, so I pulled her out of the pool, dried her off and walked her to the car without speaking. She followed in shock. When we got home I sent her to bed. Strike one.

Tonight was Jack's turn. I could tell he was a little nervous, no doubt it stemmed from Lauren's unsuccessful experience. When we first got into the pool he started acting skittish, but a quick mention of going home to bed snapped him out of it. He did a great job! By the end of our lesson he was jumping in and swimming 15 yards to me. And, best of all he was proud of himself!

Jack: Next time I have a lesson I am going to swim more than 15 yards!
Me: That is great you are working really hard.
Jack: What if I swim 25 yards next time?
Me: I will be really proud of you!
Jack: Will I still get to have swimming lessons?
Me: Absolutely, there is always room for improvement. Do you want to keep having swimming lessons? Are you having fun?
Jack: Yes, I am having lots of fun! Can we keep doing swimming lessons until I am 25?
Me: We can do lessons as long as you want!
Jack: How old will you be when I am 25?
Me: I will be 52.
Jack: Will you still know how to swim when you are 52?
Me: Of course!
Jack: Well, Grammy is old and she doesn't know how to swim.
Me: Sure

Tomorrow, Ben. Here's hoping it goes as well as this evening went!